In a twisted sense, this post is the height of narcissism, but at the same time I dare my fellow blog authors to duplicate it.
As such, I present the ten worst photos of me ever taken (with commentary from KLS).
Before I start though, I have to issue a disclaimer. I do not own every photo ever taken of me, and I don’t doubt there are some out there that would make this list. I specifically refer to a legendary image of me in yellow shorts and a yellow t-shirt with yellow hair taken during a sports festival during high school, which is known to be in the possession of SMC…
In order to fully enjoy this list, I suggest you not skip ahead, for the images are listed in order of least-worst first:
< #10 (1993)
RS: "The glasses, the hair, the leather jacket. Nothing about this photo is at all cool. If I saw this person in real life, I'd hit him."
KLS: "It's all about the glasses!"
< #9 (1995)
RS: "I just hate it. It makes my skin crawl..."
KLS: "You just look like such a dipshit!"
< #8 (1999)
RS: "The earliest digital photo on this list. Why didn't I delete it?"
KLS: "You look like a crackhead with allergies."
< #7 (2002)
RS: "Taken during a hair-dyeing procedure (we bleached it before dyeing it red). Just awful..."
KLS: "I don't really have to say anything, do I?"
< #6 (1993)
RS: "The oldest photo on this list, taken just days after arriving from Australia. Is this even me? I can't believe I ever thought those glasses looked good..."
KLS: (just laughs out loud)
< #5 (2005?)
RS: "A self-portrait gone horribly, horribly wrong..."
KLS: "The frogman cometh!"
< #4 (2007)
RS: "I actually like this photo. It makes me look strong!"
KLS: "You look scary, and like you have a terminal disease!"
< #3 (1999)
RS: "I plead the fifth on defining the caption. What 'bandanna phase'?"
KLS: "You look like a fat professional wrestler!"
< #2 (1996?)
RS: "Not the worst, but hands down the most embarassing. It was a monumental effort to actually upload and post this diabolically awful image of the antithesis of cool.”
KLS: “It’s the total package!”
< #1, 2006
RS: "The story behind this pair of images is this: I was out one morning removing snow for hours. I came in, showered and proceeded to shave off the full beard I had at the time. As a bit of a joke I kept the mustache, and KLS was smart enough to snap these two images. They have become somewhat iconic, specifically the leftmost one, as not just the worst photo ever of me, but the worst ever possible photo that could ever be taken of me! Note the ‘lobotomy scar’, the sunken eyes, the offensive mustache and the rash on my neck. This photo is so incomparably bad, that in a certain way it is just sublime.”
KLS: “It looks like a photo of a mustache with some dude hiding behind it!”
Enjoy this post while you can, because even now as I am about to hit ‘publish’ I am debating deleting it…
This is just superb. You look like a young Chuck Norris in #4.
Please, keep the comments coming. Is my order accurate? Are any of the photos not really so bad? What’s the worst?
If I’m going to have the guts to post these photos, at least tell me what you think of them!
I think #4 and #1 are actually quite good. They are sufficiently different to be of interest.
The older ones #10, #9, #7 and #6 are certainly bad, but they seem to be taken at inopportune moments, while you were talking, chewing or just wearing a bad shirt. Your glasses are of course terrible, so big and round.
I think #8 is okay. The lighting is bad and your shirt is ugly, but your appearance is less dated than the older photos.
#5 should have been deleted seconds after being taken.
#2 and #3 are tied as the worst photo. I don’t know what’s worse, the bandanna or the X-Files hat.
Are you wearing velvet shorts in #2?
I’ve seen worse photos of you, mainly the ones where you are stuffing food into your mouth.
Mmk. So. First and foremost, I find it necessary to point out that upon viewing these photos, I was wholly unprepared for the intense pain and discomfort which was about to ensue, due to gut-wrenching fits of laughter…
Imagine robot claw. But like… 10x worse (or better).
Ok so, #10, #9, #6, all scream “Harry Potter” to me. The hair. The glasses. What a little dorklet!
#8 was like an all out assault on my already impaired vision — I was overwhelmed by the tiedye t-shirt… the crazy hair… the fact that this looks nothing at all like you. This picture scares me!
#5 – I really don’t think “a self-portrait gone horribly horribly wrong” really describes that particular picture. KLS got it right on w/her caption… (you look like Mojo!) This photo = the robot claw coming through my computer screen and hittin me in da face!
#4 – you look completely strung out. I feel like I’ve seen that ‘reflecting-in-front-of-the-bathroom-mirror’ pose in numerous movies (or myspace pages…. emo?). Classic?
Are you sure that #3 doesn’t say ‘Banana Phase’? Just my $0.02 >.>
#2 – hands down the worse photo in this entire lot. Between the hat… the bandana… the slouchy pose… the baby face… if I saw this guy in WoW I’d say “what a scrub!” and I’d gank him.. (jk ^^)
and #1, well.. you know how i feel about #1. I can’t really verbalize it, in fact to convey it at all I’d need to be rolling on the floor, laughing so hard I can hardly breathe.
/salute!
great post! >:D
I love how I have my finger in my pocket in #2…
…God I hate that photo 🙂
If you were in our stairway of our apartments myself and my friends would be wondering about the suspicious character hanging about. This would only apply to a few photos. Photos aside I think you have neglected your calling to begin writing a book!!! We really enjoyed yours and Kristin’s critique.