Robot Claw

I had a discussion with Sue the other day about art, and she stated that anything is art. Therefore let me create a piece of ‘food review art’ and tell you about my dinner the other night, a BBQ Bacon Angus burger!

This is an Australian McDonald’s menu item. Ordering this was an extremely brave and unusual step for me, since as most of you know I always just order the same thing (which at maccas would be a Big Mac meal). But I’m working as Bernard’s proxy here as a taster of new things, and I reckon this was one item he needed to hear about.

Here’s what the marketing photo looked like, compared to the one I got:

It’s a somewhat close approximation, although the cheese on mine wasn’t fully melted and the bacon was invisible from the outside. Peeping under the lid wasn’t promising:

Where’s the bacon?!? (Hidden in the back at the left if you look closely.) It didn’t look very appetizing but I was very hungry and it was time to see how this guy tasted…

At first things seemed promising: the bbq sauce was sweet and the meat tasted like a steak patty on a 1980s-era steak sandwich. But then I hit the cheese which gave me pause (it was a little rubbery) and then the ham bacon which stopped me dead (it was barely cooked and 50% fat).

I was about halfway through when the true horror of this Trojan burger revealed itself. But first let’s take a detailed second look at the official marketing photo:

Look at that white stuff at the bottom. What is it?!? Mayonnaise? Some evil sauce? I don’t know, but what I do know is it tasted awful.

Since my burger wasn’t symmetric, it wasn’t until I was at least halfway through that I hit a large deposit of this white stuff, and tasting it was like a punch to my face. I was immediately full of revulsion (had I eaten some already?) and regret (why didn’t I get a Big Mac?) and I’m sure I set some sort of speed record stuffing the remaining half of the burger into a bag and hurling it into the nearest trash can.

I’ll never eat one of these again, and truthfully wish I’d never had one in the first place. On a scale of 1 to 10, this gets about a -5.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 25th, 2022 at 3:28 am and is filed under Food, Trip. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.