Fry Guy

I ate fries at five fast food places here in Oz. How did they compare? Let’s find out!

McDonalds fries are exactly as you’d expect since they taste the same everywhere. They have a familiar if unremarkable taste but the excessive salt is a distraction from a hint of grease and perhaps even an inkling of regret. Of the five types of fry I tested, these were the worst (and yet paradoxically the ones I ate the most).

Hungry Jack’s (aka. Burger King) served up robust and tasty fries with a slight crispy snap to them. I got these three times and every time they were piping hot, not too salted, and delicious! And yet, I’d only rank these fourth of the five…

The above sad excuse for a fry serving was from Henny Penny, but they tasted much better than they looked. But this review is based on the large serving Sue and I shared a few days prior, which was delightful. Unfortunately I forgot to take a photo but the fries were hot as hell, thick and full of potato energy, not greasy at all and dusted with delicious chicken salt. They were fantastic, but still only the third best of the five I tried.

Incidentally I feel obliged to showcase the ‘chicken roll’ I bought at Henny Penny, which was undoubtedly the single worst piece of food ever served to me:

Cold garbage chicken on a stale roll: this travesty was possibly excreted by Satan and I hurled it into a bin at light speed!

I’ve only had KFC once this trip, but it was in the middle of a long walk and I was very hungry at the time. The fries were extraordinary! Crispy and fluffy inside, they were golden brown and drenched in chicken salt. I devoured them in seconds, would happily eat more, and yet they’re still not the best I’ve had this trip.

And so we get to Oporto. I’ve had it several times this trip, and every time the fries were perfectly cooked, served hot, generously portioned (the above is a small serving), chicken-salted and tasted wonderful. And I don’t even have to give them extra points for giving me the longest fry I’ve ever seen! So just as Oporto served the best chicken tenders last year, this year they served me the best fries 🙂

Truth be told though, the fries at all five of these fast food places were all good, and even the worst were tasty. But if you’ve only got time for one fast food visit in Oz, as always my suggestion remains Oporto!

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