Today I’ll showcase a motley collection of Star Wars items and ephemera, again recovered from a couple of boxes that had been stored in my vault and unopened for a decade or more.
When I did the first ten treasures post years ago, I showed two cake-toppers, and mentioned a second pair. Here they are! I’m impressed with the detail of these guys, but they’ll never grace a cake, and in fact by the time you read this may already be in a landfill!
As part of the 2010 Clone Wars merchandising blitz, I picked up this insane bag of Star Wars ‘collectible bands’. Do you remember this trend, where kids very briefly became excited to collect rubber bands? I opened the bag just now and the bands were sticky, deformed and the colors had bled (look at 3PO’s head). I tossed them all into the trash with a giggle.
I was so excited when the first Episode I merchandise hit shops, but interestingly the first items we found were on a clothing store. I bought a towel, boxers and the above Velcro wallet, and I still have all three today. The towel and boxers have been used many times over the years, but this wallet is still mint. Even in 1999 Velcro wallets were out of date!
These ‘Valentines’ from 2009 show how cynical marketing for this holiday has become. Every year the shops are full of these licensed things: tiny little cards (in this case lenticular) that kids are supposed to give to their classmates. They’re just empty trash, and I imagine most of them end up in garbage cans before the day is out. Keeping these for 14 years, as I did, made the trashing of them all the sweeter.
Speaking of licensed trash, the above candy Canes (which date to 2011 and expired in 2012) are the shallowest examples. The Star Wars link goes no further than the box and the plastic wrapping, and even for the $0.50 I paid 12 years ago I wasted my money. It’s also worth mentioning that in a weeks worth of items showcased on this blog, the above may best be worthy of the obvious question: “Why?”
These ‘tazos’ are amongst the oldest Star Wars merchandise I own, being released in 1996 to promote the special editions. They are circular plastic cards about the size of poker chips with Star Wars scenes printed on the front. I have the entire set of 50 and I have no idea where I got them, since they were only available in England and were distributed in Walkers chips!
Adam mailed me this beer coaster almost 20 years ago. It’s not technically a Star Wars item, but it riffs on a famous line from Empire, although it (intentionally?) misquotes the film. I wonder if Adam remembers even sending this, or the note he wrote to describe it (which I still also own)?
I think the copy on the reverse is all that needs to be said: Chocolate Mpire rendered the Star Wars characters as the ‘engaging M&M’s brand characters’ and are ‘a distinctive addition to anyone’s collection’.
These are of course execrable, and certainly one of the very worst Star Wars items ever manufactured (yes, I include the Angry Birds Star Wars toys). I’ve got this one because I bought it for a song at clearance, and intended to gift it to Bernard. I never did, and now I’ll give it to the shop so they can do with it whatever they will. Let’s hope that includes a furnace!
Can you believe Rogue One was released seven years ago now? It’s a great film, but it had comparatively less merchandise than you would expect from a Star Wars movie. I still have the above (unopened) tissue box, which has beautiful art from the film on five of the six sides. This lives on a bookshelf, and will remain there for many years.
The above was mailed to our house by AOL in 2005, and were it not for the Star Wars connection it would have been instantly trashed like every previous AOL disc before it. But of course I kept it, and it’s so unusual and nicely printed it’ll be going back into the box to be forgotten about for another 18 years 🙂
Truth is I could probably have shown 20 or even 30 quirky items here today, and that’s even without diving into the attic vaults. God knows what forgotten treasures are stored in a random box up there? Maybe one day I’ll have a look!
Remember the beer coaster, not the note. Perhaps it’s best consigned to history 🙂