The legendary tournament was fought, and now I am proud to deliver the results!
The competitors were Adam, Bernard and myself. The field of battle was none other than a $5 plug-and-play TV game system. I present, ‘Dream Gear’:
The rules were simple:
1) Play every game that had a score
2) A maximum of 2 minutes per player per game
3) The winner of any game went first on the next game
No practice games! No advance warning of systems, controls or scoring. This would be a battle of giants, where experience, know-how and video gaming wizardry would reign supreme!
Of the 45 games on the Dream Gear, 26 were eligible for the contest. Sadly, such gems as Wonder Rabbit, Mirror Devil World and Goblet Tower lacked scores and were quickly skipped. Of the games played, every possible genre (except for quite a few, actually) were included: jumping games, driving games, sports games, shooters, puzzle games and even simulations.
We were dazzled by the variety. One moment we were navigating a sprite ripped off from Adventures of Lolo (the classic NES game) through a poorly scrolling background in Forest Adventure, and next we were catching gifts thrown at us by a barbaric Saint Niklaus in Mad Xmas. We even entered the world of criminal evidence collection as we played the role of Police Dog Lasy!
The tournament took two nights. The games ranged from terrible great (Fish Story) to criminally incompetent simply average (Dune War), and much enjoyment was to be had as we reviled played each and every one. We were in had so much agony fun, it was a merciful release tearful moment when we completed the last game and put the marathon tourney behind us.
And so, the results! I’ll present two charts before I get to the awards. Firstly, a breakdown of score share per game (click for full size):
Not bad eh? You can see that some games were higher scoring than others, and some players scored higher than others! Here’s a chart of overall score obtained by adding up the scores from each game played:
Some Interesting results there. To save you the trouble, and since a tournament deserves a winner, it’s time for the final results and the final scores.
Awards were presented in three categories:
1) Highest number of wins – awarded to the player who obtained the highest score in the most games
2) Highest overall score – awarded to the player who obtained the highest overall score
3) Overall winner – awarded to the person with the greatest tournament score (see below)
On to the awards!
Amanda Seyfried Award for Highest Number of Wins
And the winner is…. Me! (14 wins in total)
Amanda says: “Yay Robert! You rock! Thanks for watching me in ‘In Time’! xoxo”
I say: “B and A were 100 years too early to beat me this time!”
Mila Kunis Award for Highest Overall Score
And the winner is… Me! (Overal score: 101981)
Mila says: “As a fellow gamer, I’m impressed! You rock! My next film will be great; please see it! oxox”
I say: “Even Sheng Long stood no chance against me!”
Olivia Wilde Award for Overall Tournament Winner
This award – the only one that really matters – was calculated as follows: 3 points per game win, 2 points for second and 1 for third. The final results were as follows:
3) Bernard: 46 points (with 7 wins)
2) Adam: 56 points (with 9 wins)
1) Robert: 58 points (with 14 wins)
Therefore the winner is… Me!
Olivia says: “Tron Legacy gets better with repeated viewings! Also, Mila is older than me! And I was also in ‘In Time’! Oh yes, ‘grats Bobby! xxoo”
I say: “What a close result! I had more wins that Adam, but more losses as well. If he’d made even a single extra jump in Frantic Mouse he would have been the one getting a kiss from Olivia today. I’ll have to keep this in mind for the rematch!”
And so, another legendary game tournament comes to an end. When will the next one be held? What games will be played? And can I defend my title? Only time can tell…
It’s a pity the girls couldn’t attend the actual competition.