If life is made up of only happy memories, then I’m proud to say many of mine include my dearest cousin Troy Sheely.
Tragically Troy passed away a couple of days ago. He was only 39 years old.
Troy was the eldest son of my uncle Peter, and he was closer in age to me than even my brother. When we were kids, our families would very often spend time together, and since the four of us (me, Bernard, Troy and his younger brother Ryan) got along like houses on fire these were some of the best times of our young lives.
On a practical level, we loved ‘going to Troy’s house’ since he had all the cool toys we didn’t, such as vast amounts of Star Wars action figures and (a bit later on) an Atari with a bunch of games. But even more than that (and I probably didn’t realize it at the time), I loved spending time with Troy since he and I were interested in the same sorts of things, and even as young boys could play together and talk about silly boys things for hours.
I’ve got so many memories from those years, all of which feature him prominently. Troy was always in a good mood, he was always welcoming and he always generous. He was enthusiastic as well, and I remember he was the sort of boy who would speak faster and louder when he was passionate about something. He was a funny guy who laughed at his own jokes even before he had finished telling them!
He was young and strong and always smiling and he was unique. I looked up to Troy in many ways, and I was proud to have him as my cousin.
As we aged and outgrew the toys, and became interested in such things as grades and school and girls, we saw each other less. However we were still cousins and more than that friends, and the times we did see each other were often memorable.
I remember well one time in our mid teens, him taking me (and Bernard?) on a long walk because he knew of a pinball machine in an abandoned building. We got there and climbed in a window (yes, this was probably illegal) only to find the machine was non-functioning. As we were deciding what to do – and yes, as teenagers I’m sure one impossible option was ‘How do we get it home with us?’ – we were spooked by voices outside and ran away!
There was also the time, probably when we were about 15 or 16, when I went with him on a quest to some guys house in response to a classified advert selling comics. I don’t remember details, only that Troy asked me to go with him and was looking for very specific issues of a certain comic (Spiderman?). We caught the bus, found the house, and then spent a few uncomfortable moments with a very creepy old man who had thousands of comics and wanted to sell them all in one go for an insanely high price! We had a good laugh about that misunderstanding.
And then there was the time during my early college years I ran into him in a bar in Newcastle late one night and over the next couple of hours watched him, with some amusement, impress my male friends and charm the female ones. That was Troy in a nutshell: outgoing, social, impossible not to like.
I last saw Troy three years ago. It was the first time I had seen him in many, many years. He was older, and wiser, and the father of three beautiful kids. We chatted briefly about life and family and work and kids before he surprised me. He told me he read my blog, and he particularly enjoyed my posts about games. What followed was a lengthy discussion of video games (he was an avid collector) and action figures (again, an avid collector) and movies. In essence, we were having the same sort of discussion we may have had 30 years prior as young boys.
Although Troy’s eyes may have had a couple of wrinkles around them, they still held that same sparkle I remembered so well. The years had just melted away, and here was the very same Troy Sheely that had helped make my life so much fun as a child, and who featured in so many of my happy memories.
This is the Troy Sheely I will remember always.
You are spot on about his enthusiasm and perpetual good mood.
I remember the pinball episode.
I also remember another episode when we were chased by the owner of some dogs we had teased. We worked the dogs into a frenzy just by shouting at them, and ran when the owner came out of the house to scold us. Minutes later walking along the street suddenly a car drives past and Troy shouts at us to run; it was the dog owner chasing us! We ran, twisting and turning through the blocks of Islington, all of us filled with fear of the person in the car.
Was it the dog owner in the car? Were we even chased? I don’t know. But I do know that we had tremendous fun, running in fear but at the same time laughing with excitement, so much so that I can remember it now over 30 years later. At the center of that fun was Troy. He was the leader when we were together, not because he demanded it, but because of his good nature, his sense of humor and his infectious enthusiasm.
He also had a level of daring that we did not have at that age. I remember at a beach him paddling out further than either of us were willing to go. Past where the waves were breaking. He would strike silly poses on his board as it rose and fell on the waves and wave cheerfully to us on the beach. We would be laughing hysterically at his antics and shaking our heads in disbelieve at his daring.
I’ll never forget him.