Robot Claw

KLS was looking through the photos she took in NYC and found this remarkable shot:

That’s me all king-of-the-castle on a rock in Central Park. But look over my right shoulder! There’s definitely something there, something astonishing. I’ve analyzed this breathtaking evidence over and over, doing research, running simulations and comparing the statistics. Here, my friends, are the results of my research. The possible explanations are presented in ascending order by percentage:

Lens Flare (0%) – lest any killjoys try and shrug this off as lens flare, consider for a moment lens flare is an effect of the sun and it was an extremely cloudy day. This possibility can therefore be ignored!

Something Else (1%) – by which I mean something other than the options presented in detail below. This list may include any of the following, each with a < 1% chance: - A god, including greater, lesser, outer, inner or undergods, with the most likely candidate being the Aztec deity Quetzalcoatl. - A reflection, such as from a 'space string', invisible jet, Daedalus platform, metallic dragon or even the Kecksburg bell (which must have been flying past at relativistic speeds). - A fairy, or even perhaps fairy royalty (Oberon or Titania). - A 'sky jellyfish' or 'cloud fish' (extremely unlikely since only crazies think these things are real). - A ghost (also unlikely since, being undead, ghosts are vulnerable to light damage and this appears to be a manifestation of light). - A flying city or magical fortress, including Lost Lemuria (unlikely since they don't fly at low altitudes). - A USO, possible originating from the lake behind where I was standing. - Something else even more unknown than anything mentioned here? An Esper (4%) – Espers can of course fly, and the rainbow could be diffraction from the edge of the ‘thought bubble’ they use to travel. It would also be a mundane act for an esper to cloud themselves in light to avoid detection. While this possibility is unlikely, it’s not so unlikely as to be ruled out.

A UFO (25%) – a very possible candidate, since UFO’s are known to manifest as balls of light, demonstrate ‘solid light’ effects, and would very likely be manufactured of advanced materials that could diffract light. Furthermore the secondary ball in the lower right of the image could be some sort of drone craft or even an alien beaming down to Earth. An enticing thought.

An Angel (70%) – consider the facts:
– Angels are beings of light
– Angels very rarely manifest to very special and blessed individuals (such as me)
– When angels manifest, they usually have a message.
The evidence is compelling, and all three of the above are satisfied. Time and time again, the simulations and research led to one conclusion: this is a photograph of an angel. I think you’ll agree that this possibility dwarfs the others.

So I continued my research, digging deeper into the lore of the Seven Heavens, and made a startling discovery. This, my friends, is not just any angel! This is a photograph of Sandalphon, the Fiercest Fire and Chief of the Seventh Heaven! He shines like few other angels, has rainbows for wings and is always accompanied by cherubim (which explains the secondary phenomenon in the lower right).

But why did he appear? What exactly was his message? My friends, even the answer to this esoteric question was revealed to me: Sandalphon appeared in Central Park on Monday to herald his descent as the boss of a new dungeon available in Puzzle and Dragons starting tomorrow:

It sounds unbelievable I know, even perhaps insane. Time and time again I was tempted to bury my results, and dismiss this picture as a trick of the light. But as they say, ‘the camera doesn’t lie’. And therefore we must conclude that on Sunday, May 25, Archangel Sandalphon appeared in The sky above New York to advertise a cell phone game!

What do you think? Any flaws in my theory? What do you think the photo shows?

This entry was posted on Friday, May 30th, 2014 at 1:57 pm and is filed under The Unknown. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.