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The Contest

Friday, September 29th, 2017

“Let’s have a contest to see who can put the most stickers on a postcard!” I texted out of the blue last Saturday.

“Sure”, replied Bernard almost instantly. He was never a man to run from a challenge.

Some rules were set: the postcards had to be standard sized, a 2 x 6 cm left clear for the address and the stickers had to be unique and not overlap. We would mail simultaneously on Monday, so there would be no chance we could see the others entry first.

The same afternoon I selected the postcard I would use. This itself was an exercise; I have an expansive collection of unused cards and it had to be ‘just right’. I decided on the above since the jovial front would provide effective contrast to the nightmare on the back.

And then I crafted it. It took patience and tweezers and maniacal attention to detail. During those few hours my soul soared with pride and sunk to the lowest depths of shame. I was creating my magnum opus, but driving myself to the very edge of madness in the process.

At the same time over 2500 miles away Bernard was hard at work as well. We exchanged light jabs via text – this was a contest after all. But deep down we knew the battle would be hard fought.

And then, on Monday, we bequeathed the cards to the mercy of the post…

Today, three short days later… this was in my mailbox:

I’ve censored the above to protect the children, but you can imagine my reaction. The jocular grin. The vacant eyes. The devil-may-care message. All carefully chosen to lower the defenses of the recipient. To ease one into a false sense of security. To make one think “Oh look at this cute card. I bet it’s got a nice message on the back…”

At this point I’ll add that during the past few days we had boasted about our entries. Neither of us had taken this lightly. Both of us were sure of a win.

“(Mine is) good”, Bernard had texted just after mailing his, “but I made silly mistakes.”

I wasn’t fooled. This was the bluff of an expert. “Mine is superb”, I replied. “My next one will be perfect.”

It went further. A mythology was born via texts. We predicted each would be slackjawed upon receipt, and the passage of the cards through the postal service may bring carriers to their knees.

So now it was time. I had the card in my hand, and the unknown was about to be revealed. I slowly turned it over, and this is what I saw:

These words I texted him: “Jesus H Christ”

A veritable myriad of stickers in all shapes and sizes! The colours shone from the card like a rainbow, and the birds and the butterflies and the girls and the stars beckon the viewer to another more beautiful realm. The effect was sublime; for even as I feared the front of the card was the red carpet to hell I discovered instead it was the rose-petal strewn entrance to The Pure Land.

Everything about this card was exultant! This was no nightmare… this was glorious!

But this was a contest…

Later the next day, after he returned from work, Bernard also found a card in his mailbox. He chuckled at the front, no doubt muttering words like “That rogue!” under his breath as he did. Tossing his keys on the table he idly turned the card over, unsure of what he’d see but quite confident in his victory.

And then he saw this:

His only comment: “Goddamnit!”

I will leave it to the reader to actually count the stickers to determine who actually won this contest. But really does it matter?

For we have learned that this contest was as much about the journey as the destination. The act of creation alone has made us both victorious, and in sharing this art with all of you today, I think you’ll agree that everyone wins!

Posted in Art, Blog, Family, Miscellaneous | 2 Comments »

The Stamp Collector (Part One)

Saturday, September 23rd, 2017

Over the decades I’ve been alive, I have amassed a slight collection of stamps. Mostly in the form of first-day covers to be true, but I hardly turn aside when confronted by a lovely loose stamp either. Philately was my first hobby I suppose, and thought my childhood collection is (mostly) gone now, I still seem to have retained the gene.

Over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing the bulk of my collection, loosely divided into thematic posts as a stamp collector may be inclined to do. Where relevant (or possible) there may even be a bit of history as well, or maybe just reminiscing since some of my oldest personal possessions are stamps.

Today we’ll start… with animals!

This is what’s called a ‘first day cover’, which is an envelope – usually appropriately printed – on which a new series of stamps are all placed and then canceled. It’s done on the first day the stamps are issued, and is intended for the collectors market. It’s a cheap and easy way to obtain the stamps themselves, and convenient to store as well. As a youth I used to buy these now and then, and as an adult I buy them more often (although strangely never here in the USA).

Look long enough in thrift/collectible/antique stores and you’ll find loads of these. I do, and I have spent hours over the years flipping through them. These days I only buy them in three categories, one of which is animals. Most the first day covers you see in this post were purchased this way during the last decade or so. Most of them were very inexpensive, maybe $1 or less. I’m no diehard collector, and more pick at the worthless dregs because I think they’re attractive than invest in ugly rarities 🙂

The above cover, despite dating from my stamp-collecting youth, was only bought a couple of years ago.

A more recent purchase. Australian post offices still have sections for stamp collectors and you can find things like this right out on display. It’s pretty isn’t it?

Another ‘Australian’ example. Many stamps are issued from Christmas Island solely (I believe) for the collectors market. You’ll see a few others in these posts. Note in the above example that the cancellation is themed to the stamp series as well. This is unusual and illustrates the collectors nature of the Christmas Island issues.

A few from the UK. I have obscured the addresses. Most of the time when I see British first day covers for sale they are addressed, although rarely show signs of having actually gone through the mail. I wonder if collectors in England address the covers to themselves? The stamps themselves are all fantastic, with detailed artwork and metallic accents. Even those these cost me only 50p apiece a few years ago I love them 🙂

Two different examples of a first day cover from Antartica, specifically Ross Dependency, which is the part of the continent claimed by New Zealand. Bernard got me the above on his trip last year, and while they are certainly unique I feel they are unmailable. The envelope is too busy and glossy. The stamps would have been better displayed on a plain white envelope, perhaps with some line art of a hydroid or sponge at the side. (Even so, I doubt I’ll ever get any more Antarctic first day covers!)

Some American examples. I bought these at the stamp museum in Washington whilst chatting to the shop girl. I don’t think they ever got many customers (I was the only one at the time) and she was very curious about Australia so I happily answered her questions as I leafed through hundreds of $2 first day covers looking for animals 🙂

I particularly like the Arctic Hare stamp. Imagine a postcard with 20 of them on the back! Overall though the above are a bit dull compared to those from other nations in my collection. However I’ll get back to the USA at the end of this post…

The colours and vibrancy of the above are evocative of Fiji, an island nation few in the northern hemisphere seem to have heard of but for an Australian in 1983 seemed exotic and (undoubtedly) full of parrots. What it wasn’t full of in those days though was people, with a 1970 population of less than half a million. Interesting therefore that they would produce such a lavish stamp set and have dedicated cancellation for it! Again I suspect the production of collectible stamps was done for profit, and I don’t doubt that collectors around the world would have loved an example like the above (which I bought in an antique shop in Katoomba a few years ago).

A bit of a mystery this one, in that I don’t remember where or when I bought it. It’s Swiss, issued in 1976 to commemorate animal protection, and the picture shows a deer and a swallow I believe. It’s plain and a bit severe. Maybe the best word is ‘neutral’ considering the origin.

I’ll end with two more from the US that I bought very recently in Vermont:

Aren’t they both great?! Putting aside for a moment the fact that a stamp was ever issued with a Pika on it, note that the top cover shows a US stamp canceled in Canada? I wonder what that means, if anything.

The last example is wonderful for a few reasons:
1) It’s a squirrel stamp
2) The beautiful art on the envelope
3) It was the first-class (domestic) stamp in issuance when I came to the USA. I remember affixing these to letters (well, mostly bill payments) for years until it was replaced in 1995. When I had the chance, I’d always buy squirrel stamps at the post office, and there’s a very real chance I sent cards/letters to some of you by putting multiples of these on them.

As I said in the intro, there’ll be many more posts like this coming up. There’s a few other themes to look forward to (yes, including ‘Zodiac’) and not everything will be first day covers either. Look forward to it!

Posted in Art, Collecting, Otaku, Stamps, Time | 1 Comment »

Ten Things I Saw At The Fair

Friday, August 18th, 2017

I went to the local fair today, and this post is a sample of what I saw. Since I do these every year I’m guessing it’ll seem familiar, but I always enjoy going… even in the middle of a biblical rainstorm 🙂

As usual the circus was there. They had all sorts of animals on show including these guys, camels ($10 per ride!), kangaroos and even apparently tigers (who were locked in their coach). The pretty carny-girl was cutting carrots in silence and bagging them for sale ($2) as a gaggle of goats looked on eagerly.

I couldn’t work out the theme of the scarecrow exhibit this year, but this was the winner. Is he holding cotton candy? I took this photo shortly after I arrived and the rain had started to fall.

I liked this horned sheep. He actually comes from Delmar, so he may live nearby. The sheep-shearing show (which I enjoyed last year) was canceled due to the weather, and the barns for livestock were full of miserable damp people and happy dry animals!

This satanic decoration – about 2m in diameter – was in the circus museum. It’s nose flashed like an evil angler fish, trawling for the souls of children. There were several like this, each as nightmarish as the others.

The art contest never disappoints but I wouldn’t have expected that string-and-nail art would win the 13-17 age bracket! Maybe I should try to make something like this?

The photography section includes a category of photos taken at the fair. Next year I should enter one of these…

This is a screech owl. He’d been shot and left to die, but was rescued and now has a pin in his wing. He was a short stubby beast that looks like he’s been through the wars but that’s only because he’s molting. He loved posing for the camera, leaning toward the lens every time 🙂

As you know I love the rides. Because it was overcast all the lights were on, which was great, but because of the rain (and the fact almost no one was there) very few were running. This photo was taken shortly after I arrived, but when I returned to the midway a couple of hours later most of the rides had closed since the rain had become too heavy.

This was probably my favourite thing of the show: two baby porkers in a pen with a fantastic Charlottes Web themed piece of art on the wall behind them. I had to contort myself to get the above photo, and am pleased how it worked out. The piglets were hyperactive; it was a momentary miracle that one flopped down and feigned resting long enough for the photo 🙂

I missed the start of the circus, and only saw a weird silent clown and the trapeze artist. By this point the intensity of the rain was incredible, and the sound of it falling onto the big top roof almost drowned out the audio. It also meant they couldn’t do the animal shows at all, so the whole performance was quite short. By the time it ended the puddles at the entrance were so large and deep they were unjumpable. My entire shoe was underwater as I walked through, and I gave up caring 🙂

Everywhere was wet. It had become impossible to avoid puddles, and even my umbrella was useless (the rain cane through and ran down the handle). Most of the vendors and food stands had closed up, and I sloshed my way to the rides for another gander but turned back when it was clear they had closed as well.

I’d been here in rain before, but not like this!

It was obviously time to leave, and on the way out I saw some truly miserable people with no umbrellas or rain gear and sogged to the core. I waded through a temporary river toward the carpark chuckling to myself; I’d seen more rain these two hours at the fair than in the entire two weeks we were in Ireland!

But I like rain, and I like the fair, and as always had a pretty good time 🙂

Posted in Animals, Art, Blog, Miscellaneous | 2 Comments »

Bonus Game Included (on c-side)!

Thursday, April 13th, 2017

Back in 1983, Pete Shelley (ex-Buzzcocks) released his second solo LP called XL1. Despite having great success with his first album, mostly due to the hit single Homosapien, this followup wasn’t very successful. And yet it was a bit of a landmark album for a very unusual reason: the album came with a piece of ZX Spectrum computer software.

For those unaware, games were often distributed on tape in those days. Rather than using digital media, computers often input data via an audio signal, which therefore meant using cassettes or (much less commonly) vinyl records to distribute software. This was the heyday of the 8-bit games industry, and more cassettes containing software were being sold than containing music. It was a natural idea for a band to include software on a record… but Pete Shelley was the first to do it.

While the program was nothing more than a visualizer, it may have been the very first visualizer! The idea was you’d load it up on your spectrum and start it playing at the same time as the record, and then watch the pretty visuals play out on the screen while you sang along with the lyrics. Here’s the whole thing on Youtube (remember the software itself was silent):

Here is a fascinating account of the production of the software by the guy that made it. I particularly like how they put out a lock-groove on the vinyl version to save speakers (and ears!) since the raw audio of the code is just screeching white noise. Amusingly, in researching this post i found a forum post where someone described returning the cassette to swap it for the version without the game since he hated having to fast-forward through the screeching sound of the software every time he listened to the album 🙂

I can’t find any reports on whether this was a success, or even made a ripple in the games/music industry. I’m sure it was a novelty, but I wonder how many Pete Shelley fans made use of this even in those days? Either way it hardly set a precedent, and I know of no other examples of a band including visualizers on their albums…

In the early 1980s text adventures were a big deal, and successful enough that there was even a ‘do it yourself’ program called The Quill that allowed anyone to make their own game. One such person that did was Dave Greenfield, member of the band The Stranglers. He wrote a game called Aural Quest that was included at the end of side two of the (cassette only) versions of their 1984 album Aural Sculpture:

It’s a long-ish game (for a text adventure) in which you play the manager of the band as they tour around the world (starting in the UK, via Europe to Tokyo and eventually Brisbane) and get into misadventures. It was apparently quite challenging and since it was mostly ignored by the gaming press in those days players must have had a terrible time beating it without assistance. Here’s a video of a playthrough:

As best I can tell, this was the first and quite possibly only game actually included on an officially released album. Certainly it was the only game released on an album in audio format; if software was ever included these days it would be as a digital file on the CD. (Let’s ignore for the fact that even CDs are mostly dead…)

As a last curiosity, how about the Thompson Twins game? They were a synthpop band from the early 1980s, and in 1984 a ZX Spectrum game based on their single Doctor Doctor was released on flexi-disc only as a promo attached to a computer games magazine:

The game was a graphic-adventure, quite short and apparently quite bad. It lives on via emulation and you can see a full playthrough of the c64 version on Youtube:

This release is remarkable for many reasons:
– The fact that it was ever made in the first place
– The fact that it was only distributed as a free magazine promotional item
– The fact that it was distributed on vinyl disc rather than cassette

This last fact is notable: users would have had to record the disc onto cassette first before being able to load it into their computers. This wouldn’t have been difficult, but is just an unnecessary step and is probably what led to flexidisc software distribution never catching on! (Wikipedia has a good article on this game including the development, and additional research suggests the oft-delayed c64 disc version is extremely rare these days.)

I was a Thompson Twins fan in those days. I would have played this! I suspect the flexi was stripped from magazine covers in Oz though, and I can barely believe any Australian readers sent off for the c64 disc? Adam… did you?

And that’s that. I became curious about the idea of 8-bit band-related software-on-albums a while ago and this post has been percolating for some time. But despite my attempts this is all I can find. There were of course unofficial items (such as Jethro Tull and Beatles adventures written on The Quill) and actual games based on bands (Frankie Goes To Hollywood) but none of these were distributed by the band or on vinyl record.

However… there was another unusual method of software distribution in the 1980s, in some ways even stranger than including code on vinyl albums. Maybe that’ll become a future post…

Posted in Art, Music, Retro, Tech, Time | 2 Comments »

The Year In Postcards

Friday, December 23rd, 2016

I started the year in Australia, where I had all sorts of fun times. You can go back if you like and read all about it on the blog. I sent loads and loads of cards, at about US$2.50 each, and I’m sure you got some. On this trip I started drawing full-colour illustrations on the cards (mostly portraits), most of which were remarkable. I wonder who got this Stonehenge card (that I had purchased in an antique shop) and what I had written on it?

In March we went to Funspot in NH and played video games and it was great. Again, I sent postcards while I was there, but this photo was taken on the way back. I had decided to send cards from every state we passed through and I can now exclusively reveal that finding the cards in Vermont was much easier than finding a post box! I believe we eventually saw one in the carpark of a library as we were running out of state.

In May we went to RI to visit Lovecraft’s grave and I was moved enough to create this masterpiece. I hope I sent it to myself because I love it, but maybe it’s yours? If so, please treasure it…

Then came Vegas and California, and a bevy of funny and – dare I say – notable cards. I think this one (sent to KLS) sums up my feelings about Santa Barbara well. The sticker (of a band member from Slipknot) came free with a Metal Hammer magazine I had purchased just for the Baby Metal lenticular cover 🙂

And then came England, in which my postcarding reached – I think – a new peak. In particularly I am proud of the ‘postcard magic’ series that I sent Bernard. It’s a crime he hasn’t shared them on his blog yet…

In three days I’m off again, for 24 days in the sun, sea and sand. I’m filled with postcarding spirit, so watch your mailboxes keenly and look forward to the occasional masterpiece or two from distant shores!

Posted in Art, Blog, Trip | Comments Closed