Category: Blog

For seven years between 1982 and 1988 I competed in an annual mathematics contest for high school students. In the earlier years this was held at school, but later on we went to a different location to take the exam. I recall in 1988 (when I was in 11th grade) we all sat in an indoor stadium somewhere.

I was awarded commendations in every year I entered, and actually won prizes three times. The first time this happened (in 1982) I made the newspaper:

Yes that’s the original cutting, which I still own. I placed second the following year (year 6) and in 1985 – when I was in year 8 – I won! Neither achievements apparently warranted a mention in the papers, although the prizes were better.

If I remember correctly I got $50 for second place and $100 for winning. The winning prize was given in the form of a bank account, which was my first bank account and the very same one I used until the day I left Australia!

Alas despite my photo being in the paper in 1982 I was not recognized on the street and hardly showered with respect and adoration from strangers. Celebrity, I was learning, was an elusive beast.

Luckily I had a second shot at stardom in the works, and for several years also competed in a young writers contest. Once again I received commendations for all/most of my short stories (which were no doubt awful) and in 1988 I was again in the paper:

This was a small big deal at my school if I recall, and netted me lunch with the principal (which perhaps influenced me becoming captain the next year?) but this measly name drop in the Newcastle Herald didn’t lead to free meals at fancy restaurants or designers sending me their clothes for free. Once again I learned a lesson on how difficult it was to become famous.

I also recall once competing in a spelling competition at Garden City mall, probably when I was in primary school. My memories of this are extremely vague but I think I won a gift certificate so I must have done well? There was a crowd watching but I doubt it made the papers.

Anyway after two appearances in the newspaper it had become clear to me that television was the true path to stardom, and that became my next goal. To facilitate this I became school captain (in 1989) and leveraged my newfound political power into appearances on local TV. But that’s a tale I’ve already blogged, and you can read about it here.

After two newspaper mentioned and three spots on tv I yet remained an average guy with nary an atom of celebrity to his name. In late 1989 I realized there were only two more paths open to me if my goal was superstardom. I rejected motion pictures as unfeasible, and instead looked seriously at a political career. But that’s perhaps a blog post of its own (if not one I already made)…

This tale would be incomplete without mentioning Bernards brush with stardom. During one of our weekly library trips in early 198X he posed for a photograph that featured in a story about Teletext. It was printed in a local paper and I’m sure you’ll agree it’s a lovely shot:

He still has the newspaper clipping, alas not the text that went with it. In terms of column inches his newspaper appearance dwarfed my own, but I can assure you that he still had to pay for his movie tickets and his Big Macs. Even a feature story photo as large as this wasn’t enough for him to become a star!