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Retro Comic Advertisements (part 2)

Wednesday, November 21st, 2012

I recently came into possession of, well, lets say many old comics. A good chunk of these will end up being Christmas gifts, so I’m not going to discuss the comics themselves here. But, as I did once before, let’s look at some of the advertisements for a trip down memory lane

Here’s one from a 1978 comic, and as far as nostalgia goes this one is high up on the scale:

Very cute, isn’t it. What with the fan club being based on Yavin, and “prices slightly higher outside the solar system”! And, the inclusion of an iron-on transfer gives me another blog idea…

Here’s another period SW advertisement, this time from 1984:

A few Christmas’s ago I believe I gave out some of these kits as gifts? Adverts for model kits are very common in 198X comics by the way. As I said to KLS: “That’s what kids did before video games!”

Or maybe they did this:

So much cringe-worthy content in the above ad. And that’s even before you realize what it is actually for! Go on, read it and weep

Here’s another in a similar vein, this time from 1989:

Ignoring for a moment how ludicrously verbose this ad is (Was it written by someone on their first day of work?), let’s consider this is for a handheld LCD game in 1989! That’s years after consoles had caught on, and in fact even the same year the Gameboy was released. Hard to believe this was money well spent.

Let’s switch gears, and revisit an ad which I suspect was targeted at girls (based on the comic it was in) from 1978:

OMG! Witchcraft?!?! Go ahead and read it! Amongst other things, this ad claims to teach you telepathy, mind control, ‘inhaling cosmic energy’ and THE ABLILITY TO CONTROL TIME (on page 126, no less). Holy smokes I wish they were still in business because I could make things happen if I had those powers!

Speaking of making things happen, here’s another way to make money, again from 1978:

I really have no comment, except to say that younger readers perhaps don’t understand the appeal of the above ad since they didn’t live through stuff like this:

What’s that you ask? More fanclubs? How about this one:

“Alf’s favourite menu”? The mind boggles…

Oh, here’s an ad for…

… a cardboard box! I wonder how many could they have possibly sold?

The early 1980s are when action figures started in a big way (1977 actually, with Kenner’s 3.75″ Star Wars figures). Of course this led to Masters Of The Universe, and the many knockoffs by other companies. Such as these guys:

They look so much worse than I remember. And yes I do remember ladies and gentleman, and if I ever find my sticker collection I’ll explain all in that post

Speaking of Masters Of The Universe, check this gem out:

I had a rage attack when I saw this one, gibbering on about how there was no way the screenshots could have possibly looked like those obviously painted images on the bottom right. So I did some snooping, and let’s see if I was correct…

I rest my case!

I end with one last ad. In comics of the 80s, it is quite common for ads to contain superheroes, probably to get kids attention even better. This is a classic example of one such ad:

Let’s ignore for a second the fact that Superman apparently can move at sublight speeds and has a computer-brain and consider what is being sold here. A Magic Snake is a piece of plastic that can be folded into 23 trillion shapes and looks about as much fun as, well, reading the comic this was printed in. Even with the assistance of Superman, it’s hard to believe what sort of child would have found this product interesting…

Yes, I’ve had it for 30 years

Posted in Art, Blog, Books & Comics, Family, Games, Movies, Otaku, Tech, Time, Toys | 4 Comments »

Here’s What My Brother Is Going To Buy Me For Christmas

Thursday, November 15th, 2012

The world turns, but the more things change, the more they remain the same. Take, for instance, the eternal struggle of what to buy me for gifts? As I did once before, I received the following message from my Brother:

Yo sibling! I’ve learned that the Christmas gifts you’ve gotten me are mighty indeed, and I want to reciprocate in kind. Any suggestions?

Well brother-of-mine, your sources are true, for I have indeed obtained some of the mightiest gifts you will ever receive from me! Since it is the wish of all men to one-up each other in terms of gifts, I understand your motive. Thus, I will humbly offer some suggestions…

Books Category

Blood Sword (books 3-5)

Well known as one of the best ever gamebook series, I only have the first two installments and the latter 3 continue to elude me. It’s not that they are particularly hard to find, more hard to afford. Prices online seem to range from ~$30 (for book 3, Battlepits Of Krarth) to $250+ (for book 5, The Walls Of Spyte). Yes, we all know they are being rewritten, simplified, and converted to the Virtual Reality system for a reprint, but – let’s face it – as a purist only the original version is acceptable as a Christmas gift

?????? Chronicle

I’m not going to lie – this one will be difficult! This is (of course…) the Japanese Fighting Fantasy doujin magazine that has published every two years (or so) since 2003. Details are scarce. Who publishes it? What’s in it? Where can it be purchased? Does it even exist? I have confidence the answers to all of these will be in my hand when I open my Christmas gifts!

Fighting Fantasy Second Age

When one completes their Fighting Fantasy collection, one must seek gratification elsewhere. Therefore, my attention has turned to the Czechoslovakian-only sequel series, Fighting Fantasy Second Age. Bernard’s going to have to work quite hard to find a book in this insanely rare series (book #1, Island Of Exiles, is shown above), possibly including (but not restricted to) personally scouring the shelves of used bookstores in Prague! But he will no doubt be motivated by thinking of my smiling face on Christmas morning

This…

It’s not particularly rare or expensive, it’s 33 years old, it’s (cough) ‘written’ by the best Doctor Who ever, and it has an awesome cover. I want it. Make it happen please?

Toys Category

Remembrance Of The Daleks figure set

I’ve got a pretty large collection of Daleks at this point, of all sizes, but I don’t have this amazing set. Sure it’s wildly overpriced and possibly impossible to find, being limited as it was to one store and released as a limited edition two years ago…. but hey, it’s Christmas!

Revoltech Yamaguchi MH Rathalos Liolaeus

This Japanese monster hunter toy is a little tricky to find… in the colour shown above. While I – and, let’s face it anyone – would love to own this, the impossibly hard to find limited ‘Silver Rathalos’ version is the one that would bring a tear to my eye on Christmas day! Could a young mans dream come true?

Material Handler Lego Technic

Remember that chat we had during the summer where I told you how every single Technic series includes a crane? Here’s another! You’re really going to have to pull out all the stops to get this for me for Christmas though, since it isn’t released until January 13, 2013! Maybe this one waits until my Birthday?

Dungeon & Dragons Trading Card Sets

TSR released factory sets of AD&D Trading cards each year from 1991 until 1993. Naturally, I’m mostly interested in the largest set – released in 1992 which contains 750 cards. Factory complete, sealed and unopened examples of these are wildely available. After all, who would want them now? And as I’m sure you know, this would be a fine gift for a fellow such as myself!

Music

Gone Petshopping (Pet Shop Girls)

Seriously… just go read last year’s entry again and understand I’m serious about this one!

Games

Rune Factory 2 and 3 (DS)

I practise self-flagellation daily for missing both of these. I played the first, loved it, and somehow not one but two sequels snuck out without me realizing. Once I had found out of their existence… BAM! The resellers had hoarded and driven the prices up to levels this poor college professor could never afford

Wizardry Gaiden III: Scripture Of The Dark (Gameboy)

Despite my greatest hopes, the Wizardry titles I requested for gifts last year never eventuated. At the time, I withheld this one from the list, since it’s so… painful. Back in 2006, I managed to acquire the first two Japanese Gameboy Gaiden titles. Both are boxed, in perfect condition, and beloved by me. And yet, the third has ever eluded me! This fact has been known to keep me up at night, and if only for the good graces of my brother, I could eternally sleep soundly were it finally in my hands. And yet, the task may be Herculean indeed. For this game, now 20 years old, has become almost a footnote in history. Let us see if it can be unearthed?

The Legend Of Zagor Boardgame

You know how sometimes you have this awesome dream that you own something awesome and have an awesome time playing with it? Well in my dreams, it’s always The Legend Of Zagor boardgame. This near-mythical conversion of an FF book into a game includes a computer voice! Here’s hoping the first thing I ever hear that voice say is “Happy Christmas from your beloved brother!”

And there we go, a relatively short and modest list of items intended to assist with my Christmas shopping. Times-a-wasting, so get to it!

Posted in Blog, Books & Comics, Family, Gamebooks, Games, Miscellaneous, Music, Otaku, Tech, Time, Toys | 6 Comments »

Let Me Share These With You

Sunday, November 11th, 2012

From a very secret source, I managed to recently obtain the following:

OMG! It’s a factory sealed box of Star Trek trading cards all the way from 1991! Isn’t it strange how the TNG card says ‘Patrick Stewart’ and the TOS card says ‘James T. Kirk’?

Oh well, let’s look inside:

ZOMG! Exactly half the box is packs of Next Generation cards, and half is Original Series cards. Such organization! (And yes, that’s my desk visible behind… note the coaster AW)

Here’s a closer look at the two different types of packs:

I opened exactly one of each type (the ones in the above shot, actually). Here’s the very first card I pulled from the first pack:

Gadzooks! A nifty hologram of the Enterprise! I imagine these are ‘rare’, and I was very lucky to get one in only the first pack. I wonder how many others are available in the packs in this box?

Here’s the rest of the cards from the pack:

Yep, they look next-genny enough. Nice pictures, lots of words on the back. Real fanboy (or, fangirl) stuff here folks. Here’s front and back detail of a card most fans would treasure:

Lovely stuff!

I ripped into an original series pack as well. Some real delights in there! Here’s a standout card:

Good old Tiberius himself! (Or is that a doppleganger?)

At any rate…

Let me share a few packs with each of you

I realized, upon buying this magnificent bounty of endless entertainment, that posting about it on the blog would lead to feelings of jealousy and despair amongst many of you. To fend off such things, you can have some packs for free! But there is a very small catch…

To get some free packs of Star Trek cards, simply complete the following sentence in a comment:

“The true and honest reason why I believe every single Star Trek episode is better than every single Doctor Who episode is…”

Depending on your reply, you may find your Christmas parcel stuffed with a few extra Roddenberrian goodies this year:

Posted in Art, Blog, Books & Comics, Family, Miscellaneous, Movies, Trading Cards | 6 Comments »

Poster Boy (part two)

Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

Earlier this year, this post caused a few chuckles. Who doesn’t love terrible old photos?

Certainly not me! So with pride, two more:

Lovely aren’t they? Thanks to my brother for fishing these out of an abyss

Now, some analysis. Obviously these two photos were taken at the same time as before, and painful as it may be to admit, the calendar dates it as 1987. The bottom picture (these were taken in my room) shows bits of the same posters as before. But there is now more to be seen, so much more!

For starters, in the top picture, in which I’m pulling off an early Monkey D Luffy look, the wall behind me is plastered in vaguely homoerotic art. Most prominent above me is a Depeche Mode poster (circa 1985), but I can also see Duran Duran, U2, Howard Jones, Nik Kershaw and (dare I admit it?!) Wham. Can anyone decipher any of the other posters?

Ignoring my outfit for now (and frankly, for ever), let’s investigate what I hold. In my right hand is my yellow (yes, yellow) Sharp QT12 cassette player. This may have been my second favourite possession in those days. In the other hand? Well, lets just say this poster is proof for anyone who doubted this post (specifically the third-last paragraph).

But, as much as you’ll guffaw at the photo with me in it, the true gem for me is the lower of the two photos. Here we see a very rare example of my artistic skills of the day! On the dresser and back of the door you can see four pictures that I drew. The one partially cut off is an Alphaville picture, possibly the cover of Forever Young. The other three show my renditions of the following…

The white dragon from Caverns Of The Snow Witch:

The cover of Afternoons In Utopia, done in a very minimalistic style:

And a ‘Mezzodaemon’ from Fiend Folio:

If you look very closely, you can also see gamebooks in the little bookshelf in the lower left (under a statue of Mary)!

I love this photo. All the same sorts of things I rave on about now are right there – 25 years ago. I just love that I was drawing massive drawings of monsters from gamebooks and sticking them on my wall.

Next time I see some college nerd strutting his stuff, I can say with confidence “Let me tell you kid, I was drawing mezzodaemons even before you were born!”

Posted in Art, Blog, Books & Comics, Family, Gamebooks, Games, Miscellaneous, Music, Otaku, Time | 2 Comments »

Return Of The Trophy Challenge!

Tuesday, October 30th, 2012

In the history of this blog, no two posts have generated as much controversy and commentary as the legendary ‘Trophy Challenge’ entries (*). You can review them here and here.

Two years have passed since that last post with nary an update! Dear readers, it pains me to say that the competition fizzled. My opponents, like craven dogs, simply gave up. They stopped logging on, they let their PS3’s die and didn’t buy a replacement, and worse of all they admitted defeat. The challenge was over…

Or was it…?

Good readers, you’ll be overjoyed to learn that the challenge didn’t end, it merely moved! We collectively turned our backs on pS3 trophies as a measure of our merit, and instead wholeheartedly adopted Apple’s Game Center as our new flagship. Happily, I can report all such original contenders have once again rekindled their competitive streak, and unendingly seek to raise their Game Center achievement total above all others. (Of course some of them seemingly sought to hide their participation behind new usernames, but it was a work of trifling deduction to match them to their old PS3 ID’s)

In addition, a fresh face has entered the contest. This person – let’s call them ‘Bearbles’ – has sprinted from the starting line like a raging horse, and has truly and quickly become a force to be reckoned with in the hallowed halls of my Game Center friends list.

At last, the update we’ve all been waiting for: Here, my beloved followers, is the most recent standings, using the same user names as were used in the old challenge:

The above chart shows total Game Center score. With great humility, I will direct your attention to my name, on the left.

And yet, what if we inspect average score based on the number of games played:

I tip my hat to you Bearbles. You are a force to be reckoned with in the sport of Game Centering. If you can keep that average up and play the same number of games I have, your total score would verily dwarf mine.

I vow, loving readers, that I will update these standings periodically. And such updates will no doubt be necessary, for an even darker horse is waiting in the winds. A veritable Mycroftian in the world of competitive-achievement-score-accumulation, he is even now preparing to obtain his first iOS device and has no doubt already set his sights on unseating up to Foosrazzle, probably Bearbles and even – dare I say – the current undisputed King of Game Center Achievements – myself

* – Boldfaced lie

Posted in Blog, Games, Miscellaneous, Otaku, Tech | 3 Comments »

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