Books & Comics « Robot Claw

Archive for the ‘Books & Comics’ Category

Here’s What My Brother Is (Not!) Getting Me For My Birthday

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

Every day, when I hear Mr Postman deliver, I eagerly trot down to the box to remove what surely must be arriving any day now: a birthday parcel from my brother.

Alas, I am every time disappointed; the fated package is yet to arrive.

Since my brother is the world’s very worst answerer-of-FaceTime calls, I’m going to use this entry to send a tiny nugget of information. I am assuming Bernard, that you’re birthday shopping for me is completed. As such, I can only imagine that you must have purchased for me the following item:

As a Star Wars fan yourself, I have no doubt that Colonel Cracken is as beloved a character to you as he is me. Who can forget the battle against the Imperial Fleet in Jedi, when Lando and Nien Numb courageously flew the Millenium Falcon into the incomplete second Death Star to destroy it? True fans such as you and me surely know that success was in no small part due to the valiance of Airen Cracken, who was a crew member on that flight. As such, I have no doubt that the (long overdue!) action figure of the man himself shot to the very top of the list of items you surely wanted to give me to celebrate my birthday.

Alas, it is with a heavy heart that I must say that you’re going to have to return the one you bought, since I myself purchase this very figure today! It even now rests on my desk in a place of great pride.

And next time answer FaceTime when I call, so we can avoid these mixups in the future 😉

Posted in Books & Comics, Family, Otaku, Toys | 1 Comment »

A Long Time Ago…

Sunday, February 12th, 2012

Almost 12 years ago, back in March of 1999, I lined up for hours in the cold to pre-buy tickets for Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. I was beyond excited. Of course I was a child of the Star Wars era (having been born at the right time) and had been a fan most of my life. In those days – when everyone knew Episode I was coming but no-one had seen it – everyone was enthusiastic. It was going to be one of the biggest and most important films ever.

In those days I was buying Star Wars figures a lot more than I do now. I was avidly collecting them all (or at least trying), which wasn’t too difficult since they had only relatively recently been relaunched and not too many were in stores. Of course fans were excited about the Episode 1 figures that would soon be released, and had marked their calendars for a particular day: May 3, 1999.

That was the “street date” on Episode I merchandise. I was looking forward to buying stuff and was looking forward to that very day. In the week or so previous, I was surprised to find bits and pieces of Episode I merchandise in stores. Such as Darth Maul boxing shorts, or a Darth Maul towel, or an Anakin Skywalker plate. I bought them all. I still have them all 🙂

I even made my first ever TV shopping network purchase: a Darth Maul cookie jar from QVC. I still love this item:

On the evening of May 2 KLS and I lined up outside Toys’R’Us to wait for the midnight launch. I was so excited! When the doors open I surged in with the (sizeable) crown and bought one of almost everything. When I checked out I received a certificate to say I attended, which I still have to this day:

I got even more excited looking at the figures and imagining what the movie would be like. The trailers were out, the ads were on TV and it just looked spectacular. I ate the marketing up, accumulating vast amounts of toys and merchandise, including massive amounts of garbage from the Taco Bell, Pizza Hut (I specifically went to Pizza Hut, a restaurant I dislike, to buy Star Wars merchandise) and Burger King. I collected the Star Wars cans, even going so far as to buy 12 packs of soda I hated and pouring it all down the sink just to get the empty cans. You wouldn’t believe some of the crap I bought, and still have to this day, in many cases still in the packaging. I should dig it out one day and put some of it on the blog. (For example, I have every single item on this page.)

I was buying almost anything with a Star Wars tie-in. I had gone menerk for Episode I!

I’m describing all this to give you an idea of how excited I – at the age of 27 – was to see the film. It was as if 16 years of missing a new Star Wars movie was going to pay off in one go. I just couldn’t wait!

And then, on May 16, Episode I was released…

It would be easy here to insert jokes about how awful the movie was (and is). The crushing disappointment felt by zillions of fans as they watched their childhood destroyed and went straight home to toss their Watto cup-toppers (from the Pepsi promotion) into the garbage.

But you know what? I loved it!

I absolutely loved the film. I probably had tears in my eyes I loved it so much. I loved Jar-Jar and the Neimodians and the battle droids and even little Jake Lloyd as Anakin. I had no problem at all with the plot or the script or the acting. I wasn’t a fool – I knew much of it begged criticism (and deserved it), but I can honestly say that the Star Wars fan in me didn’t care, and I for one was in no way disappointed by Episode I. In fact I went back and saw the film again the very next day, and once again even before it left cinemas. I would even see it a fourth time before Episode II was released. Every time I loved it 🙂

None of the stuff I had bought – including the cup-toppers – ended up in the trash!

We all know the story, how it became trendy to hate not only Episode I but the prequels as a whole. Yeah yeah; it’s called forgetting why you loved the Star Wars films in the first place. I won’t get into the argument of why the prequels are immune to criticism here, but I will say that Episode I worked for me, and although I (as with most) agree the prequels got better as they continued, for me that meant rising from a high to an even higher high. For those six years I was a Star Wars madman, and the merchandise buying continued at a healthy rate 🙂

Yesterday we went and saw Episode I again in theatres – this time in 3D. For me personally I believe this was the 5th time I’d seen the movie on the big screen, and once again I loved every minute of it. Although my Star Wars fandom had quietened a bit in recent years (says the guy who still watched Clone Wars, buys action figures and SW lego sets), I can’t deny the fact I am still a massive fan and love all the films.

Watching Episode I again after not having seen it for so long made the experience very new. Of course I know the film like the back of my hand, but it was entertaining once again to see how cool Qui-Gon is, or marvel at the (still superb) special effects, or sigh at the dreamy Padme Amidala…

What can I say, I’m an unabashed fanboy of all things Star Wars. It’s no surprise I loved it in 3D, and if you were expecting even a hint of critique I’m sad to say you’ll have to go away disappointed 😉

Posted in Blog, Books & Comics, Family, Miscellaneous, Otaku, Toys | 3 Comments »

Millenium

Tuesday, December 20th, 2011

What did you do on June 22, 2006? Don’t remember, do you? I know what I did, I played World of Warcraft. I know this because on that day I made the very first entry on this blog. And that’s special because today is the day I make the 1000th entry 🙂

1000 entries in five and a half years! That’s almost exactly one every two days. It’s been going so long now that even I can’t remember most of what I have put on it. So I’m going to take today as a sort of ‘best of’ of my blog. After all, aren’t the nostalgic posts the best ones?

A few facts and figures first. There are 1000 posts in 14 categories that include a total of 3064 images. 705 comments have been made by a scant few 8 commentators. Since it has been impossible to create accounts for 5+ years this number is not likely to change soon. However there are three commentators out there that have never added a comment…

Here’s the timeline of significant blog events:

Sep 30, 2006: This nostalgic post about old homes, opened my eyes to using the blog as a sort of nostalgia tool and is what I consider to be a turning point. The post is worth clicking through today, not just for a re-read but also to see how much Google Earth imagery has improved in five years (compare to yesterday’s entry for instance).

Nov 18, 2006: It’s almost hard to believe now, but Yossi was once small.

Feb 14, 2007: An unspectacular post about a blizzard, and my pains (manually) clearing away the snow. Why do I cite this? It was clear by now the blog had become a part of my life: why else would I have taken such pains to document such a task, especially getting KLS to come outside as well just to take photos of me?!

May 12, 2007: First post dedicated to a movie review (Ultraman: The Next). Even today such dedicated posts are rare, but they’re usually good 🙂

May 21, 2007: First post from a phone. Ignore the title, I was testing the functionality so I could blog from Hawaii.

July 16, 2007: Still one of my all-time favourite posts about a specific game. This tale is 100% true. What a great day that was!

August 27, 2007: Great post about Dragon mag and an old RPG for two reasons. 1) My first ‘retro RPG post’, 2) AW’s comment 🙂

Pixels In My Eyes: This post, made in late August 2007, is, in my opinion, the best I’ve ever written for the blog. I don’t remember much about the creation of this post, but given that I very rarely plan any post beyond an idea, I expect I just wrote it all down as I thought of it with little revision. This is one of a very few incredibly personal posts about my thoughts that I’ve put out here for all to see, and even today when I read it it makes me powerfully nostalgic. This also happens to be the most-commented entry in the entire life of this blog.

Dec 31, 2007: First ever post from Australia. This was during the first of my (soon to be four) solo Australia vacations.

The Ten Worst Photos Of Me Ever Taken: What a post! This one will never go out of style. I love that I did this and it was well received. By the way, don’t I look a little like the Ancient Aliens guy in #8?

June 25, 2008: I wrote this post about cockfighting when I was in Puerto Rico, as a laugh. I later found out more than a few people actually believed it. I was surprised. I guess I can be convincing 🙂

Dec 12, 2008: Funny cellphone entry made during the ice storm that killed out power for a few days. I don’t think I was faking that facial expression…

Jan 10, 2009: There have been many World of Warcraft posts on the blog (including, as I said, the very first one) but this one, describing a 54 minute long fight between me and a single raid boss, is my favourite. I can’t wait to start playing WoW again in the new year!

Jan 31, 2009: Read the text, look at the picture, read the comments 🙂

Feb 8, 2009: I’m citing this because it is a very, very fond memory – the first time I got to meet a Doctor Who. He was a truly gracious person and I remember this fondly.

May 30, 2009: This is the most controversially titled blog post ever. Happily it is not without factual basis, and that’s not the only thing in this particular entry that demonstrates why we love Japan so much. We need to return…

June 6, 2009: This post can claim a lot. Not only is it full of Rilakkuma, but it also introduces my most-watched youtube video (over 45,000 views to date) and includes a now-legendary photo of me and Emi at the very end.

Doctor Who Video Games: Still my most-viewed post, and the number one source of redirects to this blog from Google. This was heavily researched when I wrote it, since I could find no such list online. Today this actual post is linked from a Wikipedia article 🙂

Dec 22, 2009: The infamous ‘trojan cake‘ event. Still a good and funny story 🙂

April 3, 2010: Hyperbolic post made from my cellphone when I was in line to buy an iPad on launch day.

June 22, 2010: This recipe post has my favourite opening line of any post I’ve ever made. I wonder if I should do more recipe entries?

July 28, 2010: My favourite post from England. Lovely Blackpool, in the rain. I’ll be back there one day.

October 21, 2010: A ghost story. Although my language may be flowery, you’d be surprised by how little I embellish the stories I post on this blog (and believe me, there are many others to come).

The Wish: A disturbing post, strangely real and incredibly melancholic. I was clearly in a funk that day, and this was the result. I’ll be honest and say I am proud of it, and I think it’s a powerful piece. But as with Pixels In My Eyes, these sorts of entries will probably come along only once ever 4 or 5 years.

April 25, 2011: For those that doubt my game-otaku-dom has reached the highest level! Going through the blog like I have, it’s remarkable how many game-related posts about truly arcane topics there are here. Even I’m impressed by my gaming knowledge and enthusiasm!

Tales From Green Hell (Part 1 & Part 2): I was so proud of these posts! To show off some spectacular photos supplied by my parents was a thrill. You can expect more like these in the future.

November 22, 2011: My other source of great pride this year.

Over five years is a long to time to keep this up, and 1000 posts is a lot of words. At times – including very recently – I have debated stopping and closing it once and for all, but it’s become a part of my life I feel I’d miss were it to end.

Given that I’m not close to running out of ideas, I don’t really see Robot Claw closing up shop any time soon 🙂

Posted in Blog, Books & Comics, Family, Food, Games, Garden, Miscellaneous, Music, Otaku, Pets, Tech, The Unknown, Toys, Trip | 2 Comments »

By The Gods!

Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

While at the New York Comic Con some weeks back, I acquired a few issues of old DC Dungeons & Dragons comics from the late 1980’s. For your pleasure, here I present reviews of these very books! Each review is of a four-issue arc from each of three series, accompanied with lovely illustrations. Please enjoy 🙂

The Hand Of Vaprak

(Forgotten Realms comics, issues 1 – 4, 1989)

This arc tells the story of an artifact – the hand of a troll god – that is discovered by a Paladin and must be kept from getting into the hands of evildoers. The Forgotten Realms comics seemed to be based around the crew of a ship that would sail around the Sword Coast on their adventures, and they are all here. The story is exciting, the writing funny, and the art quite good.

A particularly nice touch in this series is the revelation that the artifact was actually created by Elminster, who sends a duo to help destroy it. Elminster’s pretty cool always (even in those terribad Ed Greenwood novels) and well presented during his brief cameos here.

Overall this was a fun read, and I’d score it 3 puffs out of 4 from Elminsters pipe. In fact, it made me want to track down more issues from this series…

The Spirit Of Myrtth

(AD&D comics, issues 5-8, 1989)

Uh, oh. Things go a bit downhill here. The arc tells the story of the search for a powerful ‘joke’ said to kill all who hears it. As it turns out, it is in fact a spell with no somatic components and not only the heroes but also the ‘jesters guild’ is after it. Hijinks ensue.

All things considered a mostly boring story with boring characters (35 foot tall animated flame-breathing skeleton notwithstanding). They do, however, manage to cram in a few of the more obvious D&D cliches.

I’d rate this one 2 wererats out of 5.

Raistlin’s Pawn

(Dragonlance comics, issues 5-8, 1989)

Ask the average dude on the street which D&D world he preferred to play in, and chances are he’d say Forgotten Realms. Ask him which one he’d prefer to read a comic in, and he’d probably say Spelljammer Dragonlance. This is not surprising, because most dudes on the street have a thing for Raistlin Majere.

So when the entire story arc is about Raistlin putting a scheme into play to delay the manifestation of Takhisis to keep himself at the top of the power ladder, well – by the Gods! – who wouldn’t want to read that? Certainly not ME, thank you very much.

Plus, Takhisis is pretty.

This is a quality work, well written and interesting. It’s got all sorts of nifty Dragonlance-y stuff in it that spoke to my soul and even a shocking twist ending! It should have gone on longer than only four issues. In my imagination it always will.

Oh yes, it has silver dragons as well:

I’d give it a 92%, and were it a ZX Spectrum game would even award it with the prestigious ‘Crash Smash’ medal 🙂

The Arena Of Istar

(Dragonlance comics, issues 9-12, 1989)

So here’s what must have happened. Back in February ’89, the editor of Dragonlance, Barbara K, was sitting in her office thinking the following:

What the HECK am I going to follow up ‘Pawn of Raistlin’ with…?

And then in swaggers Dan Mishkin, who says:

Hey Barb! I got this idea about a bromance story involving Tanis Halfelven and some Minotaur dude.

And history was born.

Imagine, if you will, that it was even remotely possible that Istar was in fact not destroyed in the Cataclysm (not to be confused, BTW, with the WoW expansion which shamelessly ripped off Dragonlance when it had run out of Warhammer material to rip off) and in fact remained under the Blood Sea of Istar, ruled over by a cadre of giant dragon turtles who turned captives into mer-creatures and had them fight to the death for amusement. Hard to believe isn’t it? Tanis thought so as well…

Into this unlikely world does Tanis and his cow-like buddy descend, and adventures would then follow. A strong fellowship is forged as peril and evil is overcome, and the reader decisively learns the answer to the age-old question “Can a man call a cow brother?”

This is a masterpiece. I have never, in all my years, seen comic art that so faultlessly illustrates emotion in a minotaur. This is doubly remarkable since no-one that lives now or has ever lived has ever cared about Minotaurs in Dragonlance or even knew they existed in Krynn. This is akin to reading a story about the day Luke Skywalker hung out with a bunch of Daleks and never even considered it unusual.

‘By the abyss‘ indeed Tanis. 10 out of 10.

Bonus Page…

(Forgotten Realms Annual, 1990)

I think we can agree that the rest of this one-shot can only go downhill from the above page 🙂

Posted in Blog, Books & Comics, Games, Miscellaneous, Otaku | Comments Closed

Robot Claw