Category: Books & Comics

Review: Peter Davison’s Book Of Alien Monsters

January 31, 2013

I recently acquired this fine tome:

If you’re thinking it look familiar, well it should. However this was the first in the series, and therefore one may presume it doesn’t suffer from the sequelitis of its brethren.

Such a thought would however be patently incorrect, for this is yet another book of short stories that fail to impress, engage or leave an impression. In short, a book written for babies by hacks. With no exception the alien monsters in the book are violent, menacing or dangerous and for that reason I imagine this book would be quite a thrill for kids. But the resolutions are so obvious (or worse, telegraphed) and the stories end so abruptly that I was left wishing for the occasional twist or surprise (“Oh? The alien is actually friendly?”)

Many of the nine stories in this book are very similar, with least half having the same setup: colonists on alien planet don’t realize those dumb animals are actually sentient and aggressive aliens. The other half are equally repetitive: alien life form on Earth hides itself from all but children and ends up possessing and/or eating them. In the world of Peter Davison, there are no good aliens!

Here’s a retelling of the core of many of the stories in this book:

Pletrac huddled in the cave, unsure if the branches at the entrance would be enough to hide them. Vorg groaned quietly at his side, his leg probably broken. Pletrac moved the survival blanket up over his head to try to muffle the sound. How could they have ended up like this? The scouts hadn’t said anything about the creatures being intelligent – or even hostile – and the scans had identified them as one of the best food sources on the planet. The first had offered no resistance at all as they approached, large black eyes watching them seemingly mindlessly. Pletrac could still remember the hideous ululations it had made after Vorg electo-lanced it, and how quickly the others had burst up from the water and onto the land, tentacles coiling furiously. They were amphibious! Somehow they had escaped – the aliens probably afraid of the fire – but there were too many of them, and Vorg was badly injured. Now they would wait in this cave until help arrived. Help that didn’t even know yet that they were in danger…
…Outside the cave Kron-pirr waited, biding his time. The injured one would soon die, he knew, and the other would need sleep. When that time came, Glork’fth would surely be avenged!

Writing that gave me more enjoyment than reading the entire book 🙂

Verdict: save your shekels

I Boldly Went

December 4, 2012

Yes, my friends, from an equally mysterious source, I very recently managed to obtain this fine treasure:

OMG part 2! It’s a factory sealed box of Star Trek trading cards all the way from 1992! Look at the sheen of the pristine shrink-wrap! What fabulous treasures must be sealed inside?

Let’s find out:

Oh, alluring black and pink and blue! These packs just scream ‘Open me!‘ don’t they? Interesting how the divide between the TNG and OS packs is horizontal now compared to the series 1 box isn’t it?

Here’s a closer look at two of these little pouches of loot:

And here are the exact cards from the rightmost pack in the above photo:

A ‘Vulcan Lyrette‘?? It’s difficult, in English, to describe just how truly terrible most of the OS series cards in this set are. I loved looking at and reading each one of these marvelous cards! Here’s a shining example:

If we had a merciful God, I would be joking. Alas, I am not 🙂

Oh, but the TNG cards! They are wondrous! Doctor Leah Brahms! The last tragic moment of Tasha Yar’s life! Lwaxana Troi! Doctor Pulaski! Even the wonderful, wonderful Q! Surely a better card set couldn’t possibly exist?

And then there’s this work of art:

Yes my friends, resistance to the charm of these cards is positively futile!

So, my original offer stands. I purchased these not only for myself, but for each of you as well. I just know you want some of these, and my condition is trifling.

Simply, in 100 words or less, complete the following sentence in a comment:

“Excluding the obvious choice of Reginald Barkley, the Star Trek: TNG character I most identify with is _____________ because ____________ “

Serious answers only please! Let’s join the United Federation of Planets together 🙂

Review: Peter Davison’s Book Of Alien Planets

November 27, 2012

I recently picked up this gem:

For those unaware, Peter Davison is a British actor, probably best-known for his role of Elmer in The Tomorrow People:

He’s also got a famous daughter who played a character in a show called Doctor Who:

Her character was the genetic child of the main character, known as The Doctor, and ironically enough, in the real world she would end up marrying the actor that played The Doctor. Who, at the time she was in the show, wasn’t this dude:

Because that is – of course – once again Peter Davison in his beloved role as the ‘dish of the day’ in the original 1980’s Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy BBC series.

So, amidst all this co-starring on 1980’s sci-fi shows, Davison managed to put out the abovementioned book, which I read in two sittings.

For starters, the book is just a collection of mostly public domain (ie. from the 1930s and 1940s) science-fiction yarns, none of which were written by Davison himself. For seconder’s, the vast majority of the stories are the usual ‘twist ending’ sci-fi short stories that tend to fill collections such as these. You know what I mean, with lots of hinting and mystery and then a big payoff at the end. I’ll write one such story, in a single paragraph:

On the planet Juiblex, Kron-pirr waited in the grand hall and traced the lines of the artifact using his fifth tentacle. On this, his coming-of-age day, he would finally be allowed into the ranks of the Elevated, and the secrets of his ancestors would be revealed to him. As he considered that he would never again speak with his friend Glork’fth, his attention drifted once again to the artifact. It was said it had been in existence since before his race was born, but in all that time no one had deciphered the strange markings ‘Apple’ and ‘iPhone’ marked on the metallic side.

Not bad eh? The above is positively Arthur C Clarkson in it’s originality, and truth-be-told several of the stories in this selection are interchangeable with the above. Swap an iPhone with a Disney movie, or Kron-pirr with Jal-Gynyr the Myrb.

Speaking of ACC, that man was obsessed with God! One of his stories is about a supernova that caused the Star of David, and another is positively messianic in the way an alien race treats human artifacts.

It’s all wishy washy stuff. Not particularly good, not particularly bad, and absolutely nothing to do with Peter Davison!

Verdict: save your pennies 😉

Robot Claw