Family – Page 146 – Robot Claw

What Did This 37-Year-Old Man Do On His Birthday?

March 3, 2009

I woke before 7am, and ate a hearty bacon breakfast that KLS had cooked for me. Shortly after she left for work, and I logged onto WoW for fifteen minutes or so to quickly do my daily quests. Around this time a loud hubbub outside distracted me and I was surprised to see our neighbours were having the largest tree in their frontyard removed…

I moved out to the living room and set up to do some schoolwork. For the next 2 hours or so I prepared classes and began work on next weeks midterm exam whilst listening to the new Morrissey album (Years Of Refusal). It’s rockier than his previous effort, and so far seems not as much of a masterpiece. I also ate some chocolate cake during this period, and washed it down with orange-mango juice.

I called my good friend SFL during the morning and we chatted as we usually do. During the call a great bang scared me greatly – I was sure the tree that was being removed had fallen onto the house! Luckily it had not, but so great was the weight of the trunk falling it sounded (and felt) like a bomb going off!

KLS took a half-day today and came home around midday. We went to Cynderellas for lunch (surprise, surprise) and I ate the usual. At this point we tried to decide if we should ‘do anything’ to make the afternoon special. Nothing came to mind and we went back home.

During the early afternoon I played a variety of games I had received for my birthday (more on these later) and spent quite some time getting used to my new iPod Touch (think of it as more of an internet/games device and less a music player, at least as far as I am concerned). Later in the afternoon we decided to go and see a movie.

We left the house before 5 and spent a little while shopping before going to an evening screening of Slumdog Millionaire, which was really a bit of a masterpiece. We didn’t get out of the film until 9pm, and had completely skipped dinner. At this point though I was barely hungry, so dinner will be a bowl of ramen at home. It’s ready now in fact, and KLS is teasing me to come eat!

After dinner I expect a gigantic piece of chocolate cake will be washed down, and perhaps some more iPod Touch tinkering will occur. Possibly followed by some more Puzzle Quest: Galactrix on the DS before bed. I can’t stay up too late you see, not just because I have to get up early to head to school.

But because I’m an old man now ;P

Let Me Now Try To Describe Just How Awful The Chun-Li Movie Was

February 28, 2009

So we saw Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li last night and, well, um, well it was probably the worst movie that will ever be made.

Kristin Kreuk plays Chun-Li, the sexy Chinese martial artist. Only not only does she not even slightly resemble the character, but the character she plays in the film doesn’t really have anything to do with Chun-Li.

On the left is the ‘real’ Chun-li (an official piece of Capcom Chun-Li art) and on the right is Chun-Li from the film. Apalling!

Anyway, looks aside, the plot was absolutely terrible. Street Fighter is hardly known for dramatic characterization, but between the many games over the years we have deduced that Chun-Li is an interpol agent who is out to avenge the death of her dad at the hands of the villanous Bison. In the movie she is a concert pianist who is taught martial arts by some dude who used to be in the Mortal Kombat films, and goes to Bangkok on a sketchy premise to defeat the guy who kidnapped her dad. There’s a bunch of other meaningless stuff thrown in, but frankly it’s hard to care or even be interested.

And then there is Bison. Again, compare game art (on the left) to the Irish dude who plays him in the film:

And yes, I snuck another image in at the end there didn’t I? That would be Raul Julia, who played the role in the dire 1994 Street Fighter film. That movie was so bad it eventually led to the melting of the polar icecaps. It was so hated by each and every human on Earth, that there was no doubt another SF film would never be made. And yet it now has been, and glory be to Jesus and all the Heavenly Hosts on High it’s even worse!

KLS (during the film): “This should have been a TV movie…”
Me (replying): “Next week it will be!”

If you’re going to make a Street Fighter movie then holy god aim it at the fans! That trash garbage celluloid nightmare from 1994 at least attempted… take a look at these astounding images:

< Guile

< Cammy (& Chun Li)

Back in 1994 we laughed how little these actors resembled their characters, but they were dead-ringers compared to in the new film. We jeered and we mocked back then but we were damn fools for not realizing that if it wasn’t for that turgid disaster of a film we never would have seen Kylie Minogue in cosplay!

< Was her agent asleep?

(Ok, I got sidetracked there…)

Anyway the bottom line is that the new Chun-Li film is utter crap. It is boring, poorly scripted, hellishly acted (“He walks through raindrops…”) with the most boring fight scenes ever and numerous useless characters that have nothing to do with the plot. It is A SLAP IN THE FACE OF EVERY LIVING THING IN THE UNIVERSE.

I’m going to pretend I never saw it, and instead imagine that any Chun-Li film ever made would certainly contain the following image:

(If you want a good laugh, check this out)

Live From The NYCC!

February 27, 2009

We’re at the cinema RIGHT NOW waiting to see the Chun Li Street Fighter film. I don’t know why they sold me an entire seat since I’m sure I’ll only be using the edge!!!