Robot Claw

Time for some more ‘lockdown cooking’! Today’s it’s an original recipe of my own creation. It’s a little complicated, but if you follow the instructions closely you can eat some too…

Start by throwing some chopped onions in a pan. Cook them on medium heat for a while.

When they’re somewhat cooked, add cubed chicken. The amount is up to you but for one portion I use two tenders. Salt liberally with kosher salt.

Walk away and forget you’re cooking until the onions start to burn, then add pineapple chunks. Cook for only about a minute longer just to brown the pineapple.

At this point the basmati rice you’ve been cooking in the background is ready, so it’s time to plate up and serve!

It’s a dish with a good mouth feel and a delightful mix of salty and sweet tastes. It also looks – as you can see – attractive on the table.

To increase the enjoyment, I recommend serving with Mt Dew.

As a bonus shot, here’s KLS’s paneer tikamasala she cooked alongside my Chicken Zoffè:

Which would you prefer?

You better believe I found some more chicken ramen, so let’s dive right in:

Dr McDougall’s Vegan Ramen (180 Calories, 1g fat, 680 mg sodium)

This was purchased from Whole Foods and as you can see is a healthy option for those that shun flesh. But could it be good with so little fat and sodium? The cup was strangely lightweight, and when I opened it I could hardly believe what I beheld: the so-called ‘ramen’ looked and felt much more like dried spaghetti! Preparation was the same as any other type of cup noodle, and even though I followed the instructions precisely the noodles remained almost completely solid. I was even more suspicious they weren’t ramen!! So I followed the additional instructions for those who desired softer noodles and microwaved it for 60 seconds…

It was, as you can see, a disaster! To make matters worse the noodles were still mostly uncooked! I tried it anyway and the taste was acceptable but that doesn’t forgive the fact this ‘ramen’ is a fraud marketed by criminals and if I ever see ‘Dr McDougall’ in my travels he can look forward to a strong lunge punch to his rectus abdominus! My review of this product: 0/10

Gefen Noodle Soup (300 Calories, 13g fat, 1200 mg sodium)

Another option for vegetarians, this is an unusual product that never calls itself ramen but most definitely is. It’s made in Singapore and has information about Australian importing on the back so the Ozlings reading this may want to watch for it.

The noodles were strangely white and the flavor/veggie packets were similar to others I’ve already tried with the exception of dried onion pieces being included. Once again preparation was as easy as steeping with boiling water for a few minutes.

And then I tried it. There’s not much more to say other than it’s hard to believe I’ll ever taste better! This is an absolutely exquisite cup noodle product, with a robust and slightly peppery chicken taste (despite containing no chook) and perfect noodles that tickle the cockles on their way down. If they serve ramen in heaven, surely it’s this brand. An easy 10/10!

Maruchan Bowl (420 Calories, 19g fat, 1640 mg sodium)

I’ve already written about the brick and normal cup noodle from this brand, so it was time for this giant-sized bowl product. And it’s not just more of the same, since the topping packet also contains dehydrated chicken pieces for that authentic chicken soup feeling. As usual, just pour in boiling water and wait patiently for three minutes before eating.

And the end result: better than both the brick and the normal cup! The taste was more robust than the others, and while I’m sure the chicken pieces were essentially flavorless they gave me an extra sense of satisfaction as I shoved the noodles down. But in the end this was perhaps a little too much food for a culinary dilettante like myself and I didn’t finish it. I think 8/10 is fair.

And that’s enough for the third installment in this now regular series! A quick glance in my cupboard confirms that there will indeed be (at least) a fourth set of reviews coming in due course, so watch this space 🙂

I ate more plain chicken ramen, so let’s dive into more reviews!

Maruchan Instant Lunch (290 Calories, 12g fat, 1180 mg sodium)

You may recall I enjoyed the Maruchan ramen noodle, so how is their cup noodle version? In a word: satisfactory. I make it the old fashioned way by pouring in boiling water and letting it sit, and as such the noodles are always a little bit al dente and the veggies a little bit chewy but it’s a taste I know and love since for a while I ate this noodle almost every other day. It’s very salty, and a generous man may even say the taste reminds him slightly of chicken. Even better, the aftertaste won’t fill you with regret! A solid 7/10.

Maggi 2 Minute Noodles (1250 kJ, 11.4g fat, 935 mg sodium)

SMC sent me these in my Christmas box all the way from Ozlandia! These were the first ramen noodles I ever ate, and as a young man I ate so much they made me big and strong. Naturally I’ve never ever tried any flavor other than plain chicken so it’s a good thing she didn’t send me some weird flavour like Kari Kari Kaw!

And… they’re a bit bland! The noodles are gelatinous and satisfying to eat, but the broth taste is watery and tastes more of a hint of a shadow of a whisper of a chicken than anything robust. The reason is obvious: not enough sodium! We all know sodium = taste and in this case they need to at least double it. That said it’s possible the reduced salt (and bland taste) has anything to do with Maggi reformatting their product in 2015 since their noodles were found to contain lead and excess msg? We’ll never know…

Blandness aside they’re not terrible and I’m still eating them all happily. Also the smaller size (is this why Aussies are all so handsome and slender?) is a plus for when you only want a small serving. A semi-solid 5/10.

Top Ramen (370 Calories, 14g fat, 1300 mg sodium)

This was the first time I had tried this cup noodle version of Top Ramen and I was looking forward to it. This one only has microwave instructions so that’s how I prepared it, but I didn’t use the soy sauce packet since we all know sodium doesn’t improve taste!

This smelled like earthworms tasted like ash! The noodles were ropey and bland and the veggies were like pieces of plastic. The icing on the cake was that it was as hot as Vesuvius and instantly burned my tongue. As I choked it all down I knew it was a repulsive ramen experience and that I’d never be eating it again. A flaccid 1/10!

There are even more plain chicken flavors available – including some unusual ones – but the winter/covid run on ramen has left me not finding any in my local stores. I’ll keep looking though, and you can anticipate further reviews of plain chicken instant ramen noodle products sometime in the future…