Category: Food

Bricklaying

  • April 19, 2020

Like everyone else, we’re baking in lockdown! The first time was a bit of a failure and this weekend was attempt two.

Here’s the ingredients for kaiser rolls:

Activate the yeast, then toss most of the above into the mixer for 8 minutes:

Until it looks like this:

Then let it sit for an hour to rise:

Then form the rolls, which will then sit for another hour before cooking:

Then it was time to bake for 15 minutes at 425F. Here’s the before/after:

They look ok don’t they!?! But they were a bit dense and even – dare I say – rubbery.

They tasted like a scone and not a roll. And they got hard quickly. By the end of the day they were doorstops! KLS managed to salvage one for breakfast this morning but they’ll be squirrel food!

Next time she’ll try another recipe. Any suggestions?

  • Posted in Food
  • Robert

Twelve Things We Saw At The Fair

  • September 27, 2019

We we to The Big E yesterday, the mega-fair one state over. We went with Jim and Joyce and saw many things! Here’s a sample.

That’s my view from the top of the McDonalds super slide. It was faster than I expected, and I momentarily broke my finger as I careened down out of control!

The butter sculpture was astonishingly vertical and we were skeptical it was made entirely of butter. The child was about a meter tall.

Tater-tot cosplay.

It turns out Pez are made only a few hours from where we live! They had a shop in one of the state pavilions selling a mind-boggling array of the things. If I actually liked Pez I may have bought some…

This is a cute horsey-thing with fuzzy ears like mine. If you look closely at his eye though, you’ll see the spark of madness.

The winning pumpkin was over 590 kg! If you hollowed it out I could easily have fit inside. Imagine carrying this to the fair??!

Here I am eating my lunch. It was great, but the second one I got was even better! In addition to this, between us we ate baked potatoes, lobster rolls, finnish pancakes, mac and cheese, lemon ice and cream puffs.

Joyce spent time watching horseplay in the arena. While she did this we walked through the pavilion of hucksters selling endless ‘as-seen-on-TV’ stuff. It’s a fair staple I can even remember from the fairs of my youth.

Speaking of memories, the last fair ride I actually rode was one of these. It was a couple of years back and made me horribly sick. I rode nothing yesterday, but I still love watching all of them. (Lest you think I’m a chicken I’ll remind you of this!)

The art on some of the rides was next-level strange. The one on the top left was taken from a funhouse attraction that was the thing of nightmares. The top right was a zombie themed ghost train that I probably should have ridden 🙂

Some fool making a fool of himself…

In the afternoon the rain came in and ultimately we had to leave. But it was a full and tiring day and – as with last year – we didn’t see everything! I guess we’ll have to return again one time 🙂

The Happiest Meal

  • May 2, 2019

I was having a wretched day, suffering from seasonal allergies so bad I want to tear my skin off. Add to this uncertainty about planning/booking our late-semester vacation and the usual end-of-semester-workload blues and it was clear I needed an injection of cheer.

Since it worked last time, the answer was of course a Happy Meal! So here we go again…

Well now, what a coincidence: there’s an Avengers: Endgame promotion in effect! I stifled excitement as I ordered, pulling my head further into my hood so the octogenarian beside me didn’t judge.

“Can I have Thor?” I asked the server?

“You can have two!” he responded with a smile. I hadn’t yet ate and my lunch was already grand!

There’s my meal, which cost a total of $3.26! Not bad for a burger, fries, apples and a drink. Plus you get a toy! As I unpacked all this I could feel my spirit soaring.

There’s something very familiar about a Happy Meal. The tastes haven’t changed in decades and the quantity of food is perfect not just since I eat less now but also because the meal ends just at the point at which the flavours become repulsive.

My burger was notable. Not due to taste or texture, but because the overly dry bun stuck in my half-swollen throat nearly every swallow, thus distracting me from the slightly rancid taste of the overly flaccid fries.

In fact one bite I almost did choke, and as I wildly grasped for my beverage to wash it down I questioned whether Maccas should return to the days of pink slime if only to lubricate their food. I ate on cautiously, reminding myself that no meal – not even this one – was worth dying for.

Iron Man apple slices (acidic and rubbery) soon made the burger a memory, and as I ate I pretended not to notice the pair of obese retirees who were apparently enjoying a lunch consisting entirely of an insane quantity of chicken nuggets. I don’t think they saw me, since I was behooded and half-concealed by the inexplicably (for 10:30 am) overflowing trash receptacle.

With the food gone it was time for the toys. Prepare to be astonished:

Yes my friends, such was my Antipodean charm that I got not one but two toys! There are apparently 14 different ones to collect, all of which have stunningly sculpted likenesses of the actors in the films. Of course lightning-maestro Thor is best, and as you see I got both versions, including him wielding Stormbreaker and the other of him wearing a futuristic suit from… um… what the hell is that weird suit?!?

And it glows?!?! I’ve seen every MCU film and have no idea what this version of Thor is supposed to be, so I’ll assume it’s a glimpse into Phase Four…

I didn’t forget to punch out my Avengers security card before leaving, and as you can see the entire food + toy experience had definitely turned my frown upside down. It may not have been the best lunch I’ve ever had, but I can say in all honesty it absolutely was the best lunch I had today…