Archive for the ‘Food’ Category

Fake Steak

Saturday, November 18th, 2023

We bought this at a Japanese shop in NYC when we were there back in October:

It’s a candy food kit that looks like a ‘hamburger steak’ (ie. hamburger patty) and egg lunch when made. We’ve made various candy food items in the past, but this one was so unusual we had to get it. It even includes green beans!

The instructions were daunting, since no English version exists. This was a job for the translator! Unlike similar kits they didn’t provide all the necessary equipment (such as measuring spoons) and I was very surprised to see preparation required milk and microwaving and even over an hour of waiting!

This first piece made was the egg, which is peach and orange flavoured. The yolk and white were made separately, and then the entire thing had to set in the fridge for an entire hour. I was only 75% sure I had followed the instructions correctly, so this was a long wait.

While the egg was setting I made the (melon flavoured) beans, which required a special mold. You can see here that the liquid appeared to spread between the molds to make a film, but when we removed them (much later) the beans separated immediately from the flash. They wiggled around like fishing lures, but on the plate (see below) looked just like actual beans.

The steak was the most in-depth portion, requiring milk and mixing and microwaving and a duration of resting before adding the liquid demi-glacé. Once completed it was astonishingly realistic, and looked much more like a meat patty than a chocolate cake.

It was time to assemble the entire dish:

Look at it! It’s amazing. Even in person it looked incredibly realistic, and not just a microwave chocolate cake with gummy egg and beans. Here’s a close up:

It was very sweet, but the cake was chewy and delicious and the fruit tastes were pleasant. Eating the egg was surreal because it looked so much like a real egg – and even felt like one when you cut it with a spoon – but just tasted of fruit jelly 🙂

This was an incredible kit. It worked perfectly and looked even better than we expected. It’s no wonder my reaction so closely mirrored the guy on the box:

Ramen Sidetrip

Saturday, November 4th, 2023

A little over ten months ago we visited the Cup Noodle museum in Yokohama and made our own Cup Noodles. Here they are:

Since they had a one-year expiration, it was time to try them. So we popped the tops, added water, and gave them each a taste.

Mine is on the left, and contained shrimp, onions, egg, chicken naruto and ‘original’ flavored noodles. As soon as the water was added an indescribably foul smell filled the room. And when I say ‘indescribable’, I mean perfidiously sulfurous like an evil boiled egg. As awful as the stench was it didn’t deter me and I bravely tried a forkful. It was absolutely terrible. It was perhaps the worst instant ramen I’ve ever tasted and almost immediately raised the gorge in my throat. Kristin tried it as well, and her disgust equaled my own. An easy 0 (or lower) out of 10!

Kristin’s was cheese, kimchi, onion and corn on a chili noodle base. To our surprise the cheese just melted and the noodles swum in a thick, creamy broth. She ate more than a few forkfuls, said the chili and cheese were a good match, and the remainder was ‘inoffensive’! She scored it 6/10.

Regardless of the taste, it was fun to try our own creations, and once again I’ll say that the Cup Noodle museum was a great place to visit.

But I’m not done with ramen news today… check this out:

What’s this madness? Cup Noodles / Godzilla socks? I found this at Walmart of all places, and naturally had to purchase it. Here’s some of the art on the packaging:

And here’s the socks themselves:

This is an insane product. To think this collaboration happened in the first place is wild (and as far as I can tell, no actual Godzilla Cup Noodles have been released) but why did they make socks based on it and why are they marketed in the USA!?! They seem like good socks though, so I’m happy with my purchase 🙂

And then there’s this:

It’s a mini ramen for dollhouses! Kristin bought this on Etsy a while ago, and it’s just the sort of weird item a chicken ramenologist such as myself would be attracted to. She actually got a few of them:

But it gets even more bonkers, since a different seller makes even smaller scale cup versions. Like this one:

Look at this thing: smaller than a single kernel of corn. And it’s a chicken ramen too! It’s almost LEGO minifig scale, and the cup is even removable from the outer packaging:

I can’t tell how it’s made. I assumed 3D printed but it seems too good, and the graphics on the cup appear to be printed on. A mystery!

I’ll leave you with this shot of a chicken ramen decoration in our tree and remind you that while it’s been a while since I found a new chicken ramen I now know enough to assume I never will. Let’s hope in 2024 we’ll see some more chicken ramen reviews on this blog 🙂

Vinegar & Salt

Saturday, October 21st, 2023

That giant stash of Salt & Vinegar chips in our house ain’t eating itself, so let’s dive right back in for some more reviews!

‘Good & Gather’ is Target‘s store brand and these chips were easily the worst we’ve tasted so far. The potatoes used had imperfections, and too many of the chips were overcooked or just burned. The vinegar taste was acidic instead of sweet, and the aftertaste was unpleasant. Compared to the vast amount of other options, these just aren’t worth your time. These barely deserve the lowest end of the rating scale: C.

We tasted a Price Chopper type last time, and it eked out a lowest rating. By comparison their kettle chip offering was better, but still several rungs below the quality kettle chip offerings. While the chips were acceptable, the salt and vinegar taste was so understated it hardly seemed worth eating these. A low R rating.

Utz is a chip maker from here in the Northeast, and I’ve always found their chips to be distinctly average. Their Salt’n Vinegar chips started off unremarkably, although I find the chips a bit too thin and greasy. But the vinegar was sweet and subdued and they became moorish quickly. Unfortunately it wasn’t until I’d shoveled too many down my gulliver that some sort of time-release flavour bomb triggered and I was soon sweating like a gibbon! In summary: a too-plain chip with a too-intense flavour for me, and not something I’d choose again. Another solid R.

It hasn’t taken us long to realize that kettle chips are most often superior to normal ones, and it’s not surprising that most of the higher ratings are kettle types. So perhaps it’s fitting that a brand named Kettle would produce such a fine example! The chips have a delicious potato taste, and are crunchy without being oily. But the vinegar taste (the ingredients list ‘distilled white vinegar’) is unique and quite sublime and gave me nostalgic memories of the taste of fish’n’chips in my youth. A wonderful chip and an easy SR!

Hal’s chips were weirdly cooked – they were almost insubstantial, more like extrusions than sliced potatoes. This made them extremely easy to eat quickly, which is dangerous since the vinegar is strong and the strength seems to increase exponentially as you eat more. It was so strong in fact I couldn’t finish the somewhat small bag! These are for the true vinegar aficionado, and while they were too powerful for me I recognize their quality as I score them SR.

There was nothing notable about Miss Vickie’s – no weird ingredients or surprising taste – but that’s ok since they were just a very high quality chip. Delightful and well cooked kettle chips seasoned with almost-too-strong vinegar made for a bag that was easy to eat and didn’t outstay its welcome. A textbook definition of what this blog series is all about, and an easy SR.

Lays had the highest rated chips in the first review post, only those were kettle chips and here we have their normal type. As befits the world leaders of chippery, these are an extremely high quality product no doubt engineered by teams of scientists to be superior in almost every way. I’d rate them well up there on the SR scale. Surely they’re at the pinnacle of a non-kettle chip?

Zapp’s is a brand that originated in the south, but now is part of the Utz company. I picked up this bag of ‘New Orleans Kettle Style’ chips when we were in NYC and we ate them over lunch one day. Holy smokes they were good! The chips were thicker than the average kettle chip and cooked perfectly, and the vinegar taste was strong but not overwhelmingly so. It was also sweet and very moorish. These are some of the very best we’ve tasted so far, and makes me wonder why the other Utz ones are so average. An easy SSR!

I picked up the bag of Uncle Ray’s chips at our local train station and I reckon the Bible verse on the back is no accident since these chips were close to heavenly! Notably not kettle chips, their perfectly light and delicious, with super-sweet vinegar that can be eaten to excess without fear of ‘chip sweats’! I devoured this bag like a beast, and I reckon it’s unlikely I’ll ever taste a better non-kettle example. Undoubtedly an SSR.

Another nine types tasted and reviewed! There may have even been one or two others, only Covid has laid us both low this past week. No worries, we’ve still got a mighty stash to get through, so this is hardly the last in this series. Will anything surpass Lays kettle from last time? I wonder…

Salt & Vinegar

Sunday, September 24th, 2023

What’s your favourite chip flavour? Mine is probably ‘all dressed’ or cheese & onion, although I’m always very partial to a plain chip. But I love salt and vinegar as well, although eating them in any quantity tends to irritate my mouth so they’re become a rare treat for me.

It’s perhaps therefore surprising that I’ve decided to review salt and vinegar chips here on this very blog! Yes my friends, since I’ve all but exhausted chicken ramen, it’s time to move on to a new product, and what could be more foolish suitable than salt and vinegar chips?!

But before I dove in, a comment on ratings. These chips will be placed into four categories, based on the usual rarities in gacha games. They are:

  • C (common) – A below average chip, hardly worth the calories.
  • R (rare) – An unremarkable but satisfying chip; better than nothing.
  • SR (super rare) – The upper echelons of chip, never disappointing!
  • SSR (super super rare) – A god-tier level chip, worth seeking out!!

In this first entry I have seven brands to cover, and I’ll present them in reverse rarity order. Let’s go…

Stewarts and Price Chopper are both local stores, and these are their store brands. Both of these were very poor, with a strange ‘soft’ texture (as if they were damp) and a dirty, slightly overcooked taste. The vinegar was subtle but very acidic, and overall eating these was unpleasant. Both are very much on the lower end of the C range.

Interestingly these both have identical ingredients (which doesn’t actually include vinegar), and since the shops are both local I speculate the chips are made at the same factory and are probably identical. I’ll never eat either again 🙂

Wise is one of the smaller chip brands (possibly in the northeast only) and Great Value is the Walmart store brand. Both of these were less expensive than most of the others covered here. The Wise chips do not include vinegar amongst their ingredients, but the Great Value ones do.

The Wise chips tasted a little overcooked, but they were light and easy to eat. In fact they were perhaps too easy to eat, since of all the chips covered today they had by far the least vinegar taste. As a chip therefore they were quite acceptable, but as a salt and vinegar chip they were – unless you only prefer a hint of acidity – below average. I’ll score them R for eatability only, but they’re on the lower end.

The Walmart chip on the other hand was in many ways the quintessential store brand: it covers all the bases adequately but doesn’t take any risks. The chips are light and not greasy, there’s actually a hint of potato, the acidity is there but not too high, and overall they’re enjoyable to eat without being overwhelming. It’s perhaps the very definition of an R chip, and would be adequate in a pinch if it was the only option.

Hannaford was the first company I worked for when I arrived in these lands decades ago. We don’t often shop there these days, but of course I had to pick up their store brand to try it out. And what a surprise it was! As soon as I opened the enormous bag I was near-overwhelmed by the vinegar vapors, and the chips were light and airy with a sweet and only slightly acidic vinegar taste (interestingly the ingredients do not include vinegar). They are strong as well – although not too strong – and I was able to have a few generous mouthfuls before my eyes started bulging. These were much better than a store brand has any right to be, and combined with the fact they were also the least expensive chip in todays post I’d say they sneak into the lower end of SR. A great chip!

Cape Cod is another northeast brand, and I have a small bag of their plain chips every day with lunch at school. I’ve respected their salt and vinegar chips for a long time now, and indeed they’re one of the reasons I’ve chosen this flavour for this pursuit! They are very strong, with a level of acidity that can be overwhelming. Indeed, they’ve been known to bring a tear to my eye if I eat them too hurriedly, and for that reason I enjoy them only infrequently. The vinegar (which is an ingredient) is complimented by wonderful kettle-cooked chips; crunchy and with a good potato taste. These are the definition of an SR chip!

And so we arrive at Lays, perhaps the king of chips. This company is the worlds leading chip manufacturer, and operates under different names (such as Smith’s or Walkers) in different countries. These kettle cooked chips are a relatively new item here in the USA, and I was eager to try the salt and vinegar flavor.

The chips themselves are just fantastic: crunchy without being greasy and containing a nice potato aftertaste. The vinegar (which is an ingredient) is sweet and strong without being overwhelming, and it’s shockingly easy to just keep shoveling these into your mouth with gay abandon. These are the king’s chip, and I wonder if I’ll find anything quite this good (much less better) in future installments? If you’re craving a salt and vinegar chip, reach no further than a bag of these; they’re an unequivocal SSR snack!

Due to the effect these chips can have on my mouth choosing to try every brand I find is the decision of a fool. But if you think I’m taking this responsibility lightly I present the above photo. As you can see we’ve accumulated a stockpile of chips to sample, and you can look forward to future installments as the weeks continue. Will I taste better than Lays kettle cooked? Or perhaps worse than Stewart’s? Time will tell…

Ramen 23: Let Us All Chook Together

Friday, September 8th, 2023

The ramen review madness continues. I’ve lost track of how many it’s been. Is it over 50? Let’s go…

Maruchan Instant Lunch Select Chicken (280, 12 g fat, 730 mg sodium)

I was initially put off by the flavor dust being obviously baked into the noodles, since in other products this has produced an unsatisfying broth, but once I added the water and let it steep for a while I was rewarded with an acceptable taste and nicely cooked noodles. However the dehydrated veggies remained a bit flat and chewy, and I think this product may have benefited with fewer of them. Also the cardboard cup (obviously they’re trying to phase out styrofoam) wasn’t very insulated and it got a bit too hot to hold, which may be a strike against it for some. I’d eat this again: 7/10

Pho’Nominal Bowl, Chicken (200 Calories,1 g fat, 649 mg sodium)

It had loads of flavor powder and herbs, and was attractive before I added the water. But as with all pho products I have tried, it stunk of cut grass when made, tasted even worse (like greasy dirt) and the noodles had the consistency of elastic bands. Abysmal: 0/10.

Sapporo Ichiban Chicken Flavour (270 kJ, 10 g fat, 730 mg sodium)

I used to love Sapporo chicken noodles, and until I discovered Gefen it was my ramen of choice. But that was a brick ramen and I was surprised to see they now do a cup. My first thought was it took longer-than-usual for the noodles to soften, and the smell was unpleasantly strong. The taste was solid though, if a bit salty, and in a world without Gefen I believe I’d eat this one regularly. A respectable 8/10.

I’m not stopping the plain chicken ramen reviews since I’ve learned that as long as the world turns I’ll still occasionally find new versions. But I’ve grown to love reviewing food, and think it may be time to expand my culinary review talents into a new product category. Stay tuned…