Archive for the ‘Food’ Category

Fry Guy

Monday, June 5th, 2023

I ate fries at five fast food places here in Oz. How did they compare? Let’s find out!

McDonalds fries are exactly as you’d expect since they taste the same everywhere. They have a familiar if unremarkable taste but the excessive salt is a distraction from a hint of grease and perhaps even an inkling of regret. Of the five types of fry I tested, these were the worst (and yet paradoxically the ones I ate the most).

Hungry Jack’s (aka. Burger King) served up robust and tasty fries with a slight crispy snap to them. I got these three times and every time they were piping hot, not too salted, and delicious! And yet, I’d only rank these fourth of the five…

The above sad excuse for a fry serving was from Henny Penny, but they tasted much better than they looked. But this review is based on the large serving Sue and I shared a few days prior, which was delightful. Unfortunately I forgot to take a photo but the fries were hot as hell, thick and full of potato energy, not greasy at all and dusted with delicious chicken salt. They were fantastic, but still only the third best of the five I tried.

Incidentally I feel obliged to showcase the ‘chicken roll’ I bought at Henny Penny, which was undoubtedly the single worst piece of food ever served to me:

Cold garbage chicken on a stale roll: this travesty was possibly excreted by Satan and I hurled it into a bin at light speed!

I’ve only had KFC once this trip, but it was in the middle of a long walk and I was very hungry at the time. The fries were extraordinary! Crispy and fluffy inside, they were golden brown and drenched in chicken salt. I devoured them in seconds, would happily eat more, and yet they’re still not the best I’ve had this trip.

And so we get to Oporto. I’ve had it several times this trip, and every time the fries were perfectly cooked, served hot, generously portioned (the above is a small serving), chicken-salted and tasted wonderful. And I don’t even have to give them extra points for giving me the longest fry I’ve ever seen! So just as Oporto served the best chicken tenders last year, this year they served me the best fries ๐Ÿ™‚

Truth be told though, the fries at all five of these fast food places were all good, and even the worst were tasty. But if you’ve only got time for one fast food visit in Oz, as always my suggestion remains Oporto!

A Review In Three Photos

Thursday, June 1st, 2023

Ramen 22: The Power And The Chook

Wednesday, May 31st, 2023

Incredibly, I found four more as-yet-unreviewed chicken ramen noodles! Let’s get to tasting…

Coles Chicken Brown Rice Noodles (283 Calories, 3.4 g fat, 1470 mg sodium)

This was very good! I was still a little jet-lagged when I tried this one and the rich broth and tasty noodles gave me an energy injection. If I lived here in Australia, I’d eat this one again: 8/10

Supreme Noodles Chicken Noodle Cup (372 Calories, 13.7 g fat, 1610 mg sodium)

By comparison this was absolutely terrible. Wretched stringy noodles and a bit of overly-salty flavoring led to a woeful ‘meal’ that belongs in the bin. A miserable 1/10.

Coles Chicken Instant Noodles (1285 kJ, 13.4 g fat, 1095 mg sodium)

I had the brick version of this last year and it is at best acceptable. This is a ramen you’d eat to stay alive but not ever choose. I’ll give it bonus points for the abundance of veggies but as an uninspired example it’s only worth about 5/10.

Maggi Wholegrain Chicken 2-Minute Noodles (960 kJ, 1.3 g fat, 900 mg sodium)

Brick noodles seem less common here than in the USA, and chicken examples are quite rare. This unusual wholegrain version of Maggi chicken noodles are very low in fat and sodium, and I enjoyed them quite a lot. A good chicken taste combined with some slightly chewy noodles meant a nice dinner after a 35,000 step walk on a sunny day. I’ll probably eat this one again: 8/10

And so the series that I thought ended years ago racked up yet another installment. Could there one day be another (which would introduce the 60th noodle)? I hope so, and I know you do too ๐Ÿ™‚

Ramen Universes Beyond: Hatsune Miku

Sunday, May 14th, 2023

It’s time for another investigation into the world of branded ramen. Today I have something very special:

Yes my friends, a Hatsune Miku leek flavored blue ramen. And it’s very cutely packaged as well:

Look at her enjoying delicious leek noodles. How could I not pay $4.99 for this item after seeing this art? (If you’re wondering, Hatsune Miku is everyone’s favourite vocaloid and if that means nothing to you then just think of her just as Hello Kitty crossed with a pop idol.)

I’ll admit I was a little concerned by the appearance of the product before adding water. Rice noodles are rarely good, and the flavoring seemed to just be fine onion powder. For those keeping track, it contains 190 kCal, 1g of fat, and 1140 mg of sodium.

As you know, professional ramen enthusiasts utilize noodle stoppers when they steep their cup noodles, so it’s a good thing I recently purchased a new one:

Yep, a Miku noodle stopper for some Miku noodles! It was a match made in noodle heaven:

Once the boiling water was added, I patiently waited, and when it was ready I opened the lid and this is what I saw:

It looked like a children’s drink with cut grass floating on it. And even though I let the noodles soak about twice as long as suggested they were still suspiciously rigid. But such thing shouldn’t stop a professional food critic, so I dove right in:

Of course it was terrible. The noodles were elastic bands, and the broth tasted of nothing at first (that’s the only 1g of fat right there) , but had an ‘evil vegetable’ aftertaste that lingered for hours. The blue broth was extremely off-putting, and overall this was a wretched ramen experience. Needless to say I don’t recommend this, even for the spectacle.

At least the noodle stopper is cute. Look at her noodly hair! Reminds me a bit of Uzumaki

Happy 30 Years!

Thursday, May 11th, 2023

30 years ago today, I came to America. It was probably the best but hardest decision I ever made, and the anniversary – which I usually ignore – is bittersweet. Kristin suggested I do something ‘American’ to celebrate… so I walked to McDonalds for lunch ๐Ÿ™‚

Including tax a hamburger happy meal now costs $6.47, which seems a lot for what you get. Service was very fast though, and the food was piping hot and looked good once I unpacked it:

I ate the burger first. As a little boy the junior burger (as it was called in Oz back in those days) was my favorite, but I grew into Big Macs for a few decades before somewhat recently returning to happy meals. It’s just enough food for me now, and I’ve grown to enjoy the simple taste of the plain hamburger.

This one didn’t disappoint, and as I inhaled it I increasingly noticed the rest of the patrons in the dining area were geriatrics or lunatics and I was simultaneously the youngest and sanest in the room. Thankfully the burger was meaty and delicious, and I almost could ignore the madwoman across the restaurant screaming about toilet paper.

Are Macca’s fried the best fast food fry? I can’t answer that now (but I will in time; stay tuned) but I will say that first impressions of this portion were high: they were crispy and hot with a nice potato taste. Unfortunately there must have been a mistake in the kitchen since they were insanely oversalted, and even the half-flat and watery Diet Coke barely cut the bitterness.

I ate them regardless, priding myself on my ability to ignore the ancient nutter gibbering about his hip flask. One of his companions seemed to gutterally grunt at him in response, and I wondered if perhaps they weren’t even human? With my food gone, it was time to inspect the toy.

Macca’s continues to cut costs and the plastic in this Cosmo (a good dog) from Guardians 3 would have probably been better used for anything else. What child wants this? I considered saving it for a future birthday gift for Bernard, but came to my senses (unlike the wizened loon mumbling to himself in the corner) and hurled it into the nearest trash bin.

My anniversary meal completed, I fled the asylum restaurant and walked home. It took a while and was hot, and my extreme salt-induced hydration made it feel hotter, but at least I hadn’t let the day pass without doing something special. Happy 30 years to me ๐Ÿ™‚