Robot Claw

Yesterday morning I headed to school (on a Saturday…) to get some work done. Afterwards I grabbed some quick lunch and then headed over to the game store for the pre-release of the new Magic set, Dark Ascension. In the morning I’d been feeling a little queasy, but I just ignored it.

Now the game store had a large turnout for the event – about 50 players. We were all crammed into an area a bit small for that many of us, and given the average player was an early 20’s guy, you can imagine the smell in the room was a bit unpleasant. Not to worry, I excitedly opened my boosters and formed a white/green/red 40 card deck with a bit of a wolf theme going on. The two cards that would eventually become pivotal were:

Each of which I had two of in my deck.

I won the first round 2-1, and that one loss was bad playing on my part (I didn’t read one of his cards close enough, and voluntarily killed a creature with undying forgetting it just came back stronger…). I am a fast player, and as I took a seat on a couch to pass the time until round two I noted that I was beginning to feel noticeably ill.

I persisted! I won round 2 handily (2-0) against a player so nervous his hands were shaking. It was a little sad actually. The game was again, very quick, and as it finished and I reported my win the game store employees strolled in with 3 or 4 massive and greasy pizzas for everyone to eat.

The smell was nauseating! As in I had a strong reaction to it almost immediately. Bile rising in my throat, light-headed. I fled the room and went and sat in my car with the window down, trying to feel better in the cold air. It was very apparent something was up, but I wanted to keep playing. This resolve was doubled when the standings were posted after round 2 and I found that with 6 points I was tied for first place so far.

So round 3 begins. I handily defeat my opponent in the first of the three games, but I was dizzy and feeling very, very sick. We start the second game, but all of a sudden I just knew if I stayed any longer I’d be throwing up there in that game store room, so I just had to leave. I went and told the organizers that my opponent beat me 0-2 (he was happy I gave him a free win) and fled.

Driving home I was very dizzy, almost floaty, and fighting not to throw up. I got home and rushed into the shower thinking that would help me feel better, but it had the reverse effect and I had to get out because I legitimately thought I was going to faint. KLS was concerned now; something was definitely up with me. I climbed into bed (still wet from the shower) a bit scared because my arms and feet were numb.

But I was restless, and dealing with an extreme pain in my stomach and ribs. I got up to move out to the living room – encased in blankets and heat pads. But even that walk was too much for me and the next thing I knew I was on all fours throwing up into a large plastic bowl on the kitchen floor.

This would continue for a few hours. Pain, delirium, dizziness and throwing up. What was wrong with me? Food poisoning? I’m not sure, but writing about it now I can honestly say I don’t ever remember being as sick as I was yesterday.

So eventually, about 8pm, I was back in bed in pain and miserable. My throat was swollen from all the vomiting, and my chest was positively aching because the vomiting had been so violent and had repeated so often. I had a slight fever as well, and felt very cold. KLS was there with me (as she was throughout the entire ordeal), sitting in bed next to me, and was therefore a prime witness when I started hallucinating and entered into what can only be described as a Fever Dream.

What happened was, while I was technically asleep, I started rapid-fire talking. Of course I have no recollection of any of this, but to her credit she was so amazed and amused by the things I was saying she started writing them down. And therefore I can present to you the rambling of a fevered, delusional sick man as he lay in bed sweating off an illness last night:

“Why is she short”
“Yeah, she’ll like that… Fuck em all”
“86-5”
“I think I’m closing in on sleep maybe”
“Do you think I’m off the main bit”
“We established that I got the details last week… Please… The details, they can wait.”
“I’m tired… Am I? It’s too long”
“I’m always in the same place? Have you noticed? Is it a push message?”
“Did you put it away? Good good. Are you gonna say a senior?”

KLS says she was typing this stuff as fast as possible, I was just spewing out this garbage while asleep! She had fun with it as well, and sometimes responded to me:

Me: “How many more do I have to catch?”
KLS: “About 12”
Me: “Aw fuck!” (said with great disgust)

The best was the following:

“I think I have to reign it in… Cops cops cops!”

The above is 100% true. I have no recollection whatsoever of saying any of this, but I bet it would have been funny.

Anyway I slept poorly, woke up feeling like a steamroller had run over my body 80 times, and plan on just sitting around like a corpse today hoping I’m better enough to teach tomorrow. I do believe the worst is past, but I’m still cold and dizzy and clearly not 100%. Here’s hoping I feel better soon 🙁