Category: Miscellaneous

Ramen 24: It’s Ramen Men, Hallelujah!

February 25, 2024

We’re entering the fourth year of chicken ramen reviews, and I think it’s been about 60 unique products now. And yet I keep finding more. With no further ado then…

Kung Fu Artificial Chicken (350 Calories, 16 g fat, 1510 mg sodium)

I believe his is the first actual racist product I’ve reviewed, what with not only the ‘king fu’ name but also the claim it’s an ‘oriental’ product. But I believe this isn’t made for a western market, so it may be entirely innocent.

The ramen itself was abhorrent. The noodles were slimy and gelatinous, and while the taste was probably going for ‘roasted chicken’ it instead tasted sickly sweet and absolutely not what you want in a ramen. This was a terrible noodle product, and an easy -1/10.

Paldo Bowl Noodle Artificial Chicken (370 Calories, 13 g fat, 1547 mg sodium)

This may be the first Korean example seen on these pages. While they are big ramen-eaters, every other Korean chicken ramen I’ve seen is spicy, and I’m only reviewing the plain ones. This looked good until I opened the spice packet, which instantly made me suspect they had simply omitted the word ‘spicy’ on the packaging.

And yes, that was indeed the case! This was – for me – far too spicy and I found even a tiny sip unbearable. It also tasted nothing like chicken and more like (hot!) nacho cheese Doritos! KLS liked it, and said she’d have eaten it all were she hungry. I’ll say it’s probably a good spicy chicken ramen product, but I won’t score it since it’s not plain chicken 🙂

Ramen Express Chicken Ramen (190 Calories, 7 g fat, 670 mg sodium)

I tested the cup version of this back in the fourth installment and gave it a very low grade due to an extreme lack of taste. Surprise, surprise: this brick version is identical! While it has a generous flavour packet, once prepared there’s almost no flavour at all, and it’s just like eating boiled noodles. I’m puzzled as to why this product is sold this way, or who would choose it over virtually any other chicken ramen. Suffice to say it’s dreadful, and like it’s cup brother only worth 2/10.

I’ve learned to never say never again with regards to this series, but it’s been several months since the last installment. How many months until the next?

Dragons!

February 10, 2024

Today is Lunar New Year, and 2024 is the Year of the Dragon. This is traditionally an auspicious year, and those born under the sign of the dragon are said to be as charismatic and influential as the very dragons themselves!

As a fan of fantasy, obviously I’m a fan of dragons as well, and I like both western and eastern wyrms – as well as the fantasy archetype that is mostly an invention of the last half century. Today I thought I’d showcase some esteemed dragons from myth and fiction to honor these great beasts. How many of these do you know?

Shenlong is a dragon god from Chinese myth that has been described in stories and depicted in art for almost 1000 years. His domain is the sky, his gift is rain and his wrath is thunder and lightning. In ancient days people in many Asian nations would try to avoid angering him since his gifts were essential to agriculture, and an angry storm dragon god could wreak havoc on crops!

As one of the divine Chinese dragons of myth Shenlong had five claws instead of four, and as with almost all eastern dragons could fly, speak and change his shape to a human at will.

Ryujin (which literally translates to dragon god) is the Japanese deity of the ocean and all the creatures therein. An important Shinto deity, there are shrines across Japan to him to this day, especially in coastal areas.

Ryujin has a rich mythology and is said to be a direct ascendant of the Japanese imperial family. He has many fabulous powers, and as with many Japanese deities utilizes wondrous magical items such as a jewel he can use to control tides. He is believed to live at the bottom of a large lake near Kyoto.

Incidentally while Chinese and Japanese dragons resemble each other, you can tell them apart by their horns (Chinese look like deer, Japanese are straighter) and their claws (Chinese have four or five, Japanese have three).

The Beowulf Dragon is not the best-known character in the 1000+ year-old Germanic poem, but in some ways it became the most influential. After Beowulf defeated Grendel and Grendel’s mother, he settled into kingly life for decades until a dragon emerged and threatened his kingdom. Taking up his sword once again, he slew the dragon but was fatally wounded in the struggle.

Germanic dragons are the origin of what most of us think of when we hear the word ‘dragon’ today, and there are notable ones older than the one in this poem (such as Fafnir). But the un-named beast slain by Beowulf was the first example of the western dragon template that continues to this day: a large scaly winged reptile that breathes fire and covets gold and jewels. One author liked Beowulf’s dragon so much, he more or less used it himself when he wrote a book called…

The Hobbit was published 87 years ago and for many readers in the decades that followed Smaug was likely their first exposure to a dragon. He is the archetype of the modern dragon: the Beowulf beast turned into a true character with the intellect, vanity, power and fire-breathing his kind would eventually become known for.

Just as Tolkien was influenced to create Smaug, his creation would influence the fictional dragons of those that grew up reading The Hobbit. Not the least was Gary Gygax, who appropriated the Tolkienesque dragon as the model for the many dragons inhabiting the world of Dungeons and Dragons, the styles of which have essentially become the modern ‘dragon’.

Of course there are some other famous dragons I didn’t detail today – no doubt many of you wonder about the beast slain by St George – but I think this presents a brief snapshot of both eastern and western dragons and their origins.

You probably got a 2024 Japanese postcard from me with a dragon sticker on it: did you notice you could peel the dragon off the sticker to re-use, and there’s a second dragon underneath? Why not wish someone else a Happy New Year by sending them a little dragon sticker 🙂

May 2024 grant you the wisdom, health and fortune of the dragons!

McDonald’s Memories

January 28, 2024

That’s the first Australian McDonald’s, which opened in Sydney the year before I was born. From what I can determine, the first McDonald’s in Newcastle opened when I was 7, and since it wasn’t far from where my Nan lived it was a frequent treat after we’d visit her house.

Since then I’ve eaten at Maccas hundreds of times, and over those 40+ years many memories have been made. Here’s a selection:

As a child the McDonald’s calendar was an essential purchase! Not only did we hang it on our walls, we also coloured it in and – most importantly – we used the coupons every month to get free food!
Happy Meals were my default order as a child, and the toys (in my memory) were much higher quality than today. I fondly remember some Star Wars stencils that could be used to draw characters, that I wish I’d kept to this day.
Ice creams in those days were self-serve!

Graduating to Big Macs was one moment in my life when I felt like an adult. I don’t remember who it was, but I was at Maccas with a friend once and he got a Big Mac and I ordered a ‘Junior Burger’ and he asked me why I didn’t eat Big Macs! This prompted me to try one and I never looked back 🙂
Back when we had our paper run one time the newspaper came with Maccas coupons for free fries. We ended up with loads of them and I recall I had a lot of fries during the weeks that followed!
During the 1984 Olympics I remember my group of friends used to go to Charlestown Maccas after school and watch the athletic events. A girl in my year was working there at the time and she used to surreptitiously give us free food.

I used to love the cookies! Australia didn’t have a strong traditional of ‘animal crackers’ so we didn’t know that Maccas cookies were basically the same. Even well into my teens I used to get a box of these with my order and eat them on the bus home.
I also used to enjoy their strawberry milkshakes, although I haven’t had one since I left Australia.
In my last year of High School we organized a treasure hunt and one item on the list was ‘one point for every McDonald’s cheeseburger you bring us’ and we had loads delivered (as well as a phone call of complaint from a McDonald’s!). This was when microwaves were uncommon so we (me and the judges) ate a bunch for dinner and – to my shame – had to throw the rest away.

The frozen cokes I’ve ordered at Australian McDonald’s. During my summer trips it wasn’t unusual for me to have two or three a day, but these past years – since I’ve traveled in winter – it’s usually been just one. It’s the best item on their menu 🙂
When I first returned to Oz in 2000 I wrote a series of postcards on alternate days in the George street Maccas. Entitled ‘The McDonalds Series’, these are some of the oldest and most nostalgic postcards in my collection.

During our trip to Germany we visited many McDonald’s, often not eating at all. The reason: I was hunting McDonald’s glasses with ‘coca cola’ written in various different languages!
At a Maccas in Paris – on the Champs-Elysees to be specific – I ate breakfast very early and was the only diner in the restaurant. A man came and sat down right next to me and bowed his head until it hit the table. I quickly finished and left, and later that day my hotel concierge told me he was probably a homeless man looking to scavenge any food I may have left on the tray.

I could do a blog post on Japanese Maccas memories alone, but two that stick out were the Superfries (read about them here) and not once but twice being seated at a very busy Maccas and finding myself sharing a table with a young ‘office lady’ working on her laptop!
The memory I’m most proud of would be my 2022 achievement of seven identical orders in seven days at seven different Maccas (read about it here). Will I ever surpass this? No man yet knows…

So many years of McDonald’s! The irony is I almost never eat it in the USA since it’s usually awful here, but you can bet that any foreign trip I ever go on will include at least one stop at a Maccas. Let’s hope there’s many more memories to be made 🙂

Robot Claw