I went to the Altamont Fair today. I go every year, but this time was different because I was alone, and because it was raining. Heavily!
I sat in my car for a while thinking paying admission would be crazy. But I wanted to see the animals and the rides, so I had to go in! I grabbed my giant umbrella and braved the elements.
It was dead inside. This performer had an audience of just me for his (good!) one-man band 🙂
This miniature horse looked at me like I was crazy! “You’ve only been here 15 minutes”, she neighed “and your shoes are already drenched!”
The sheep were wary of my umbrella, but eager to pose for snaps. Resplendent in their coats, they wondered where all the humans were.
The poultry building was a ghost town. The noise of the rain almost – almost – drowned out the cacophony of a hundred dozen screaming chickens. Most of which were very handsome!
The rain had picked up, and the ground couldn’t soak it all up. Large pools started appearing everywhere, and the wind made my umbrella of questionable utility. I ducked into other exhibits..
Gourds that look like swans? This didn’t even win a prize in the ‘craft’ contest.
This saucy scarecrow did however. Thank god her lipstick wasn’t real, else the torrential rain would have washed it off her face!
The baby ducks were popular, even though they may have been more happy splashing around outside.
This hare on the other hand was not amused. He glanced at me disdainfully, as if he neither knew nor cared I was standing in inch-deep water to photograph him!
That’s the view as I strolled toward the midway. Seconds after I took this an Englishman holding a mad dog ran past…
I spent some time in the midway, staring with childlike fascination at my beloved rides. While technically ‘open’, not one single ride was going.
The reason was apparently safety. Or so mumbled a criminal carny, without even glancing up from his phone.
The Magic Maze was abandoned but I was too much of a gentleman to simply walk on.
And then I saw ‘Crazy Outback’, decorated with kangaroos, crocodiles and large-busted Sheila’s! I had to explore this fun house didn’t I?
Alas! It was closed too. As I was told in broken English by the refrigerator sized felon carny manning the entrance.
After taking the above shot (see the guy sitting in the bear) I was alarmed by a shout of “Hey!” From behind me.
A menacing looking murderer carny approached: “Are you from the fair board? Why are you taking photos?”
I explained I was taking them to show friends.
“If you’re from the fair board you need to wear a badge.” As he said this he flexed his titanic muscles, which dislodged his vest to reveal an arsenal of weapons underneath. Maybe.
I scurried away.
The rain had become biblical. People huddled under cover, weeping in terror. I shuffled toward the circus tent, and barely cared when my feet sunk into the wood chips that had become a giant sponge, squirting water up my legs with every step. At the entrance of the massive tent, water careened down like Niagara Falls. Holding my umbrella tightly I ducked inside.
Those are ‘The Lovelies’. I suppose they were, but I couldn’t see them since the tent interior had become a humidor and my glasses were completely fogged. I was drenched and I was tired, and it was time to leave.
Next weekend we’ll go to another fair. Let’s hope the weather is a bit more cooperative 🙂
