Category: Miscellaneous

The Worst Sci-Fi Novel Ever Written?

Over the years I’ve enjoyed purchasing old science fiction novels as gifts for my brother. I tend to specialize in, shall we say, ‘awful’ books and always try to one-up myself.

Yesterday I was browsing a local store, and picked up this gem:

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I bought it for a few reasons: the terrible name, the infringing cover (it’s not a Star Trek novel), and the ludicrous premise (Captain Bronet leads his crew on an expedition to an ‘evil planet’ called Galaxy 666. Yes that’s the name of the planet.) I thought to myself “This one looks memorable. My brother will love this one”…

And then I googled it.

Before I continue, read this. Also, feel free to google ‘Galaxy 666’ or ‘Pel Torro’ or ‘Lionel Fanthorpe’ and read one of the many other articles about this novel!

So it seems, entirely by luck, that yesterday I paid less than $2 for the worst novel ever written by the worst SF author of all time!

Bernard’s going to love it 🙂

If I Announce It, Then Surely It Must Happen

The day is nigh my friends, for exactly 5 weeks from today, on Sunday August 3, the first game from legendary (and mysterious) game design trio FloBeRo entitled Menagerie Of The Gods might will be released!

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This game has been in (sporadic) development for many, many months, and sometime on or about Thursday, July 30th a ‘game jammay will be held to force the game through alpha, beta and final crunch so it can be released on time!

Here’s a mockup screen from early in development:

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As you can see this is a word game. More specifically, this is a divine word adventure game in which the player – in the role of Noah himself – must fight off the attack of savage and legendary unique beasts who are angry they were not invited on the Ark. You attack by completing words from a given pool of letters. The longer the word, the more damage you take. But beware, since these beasts fight back. How many can you defeat? How far can you get? How high can you raise your score? Time will tell…

And who are FloBeRo, the creators of this epic game? Well they wish to remain anonymous, but I was able to secure a quote from each of them for their fans:

Lead Art Designer ‘Furonzo: “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away!”

Lead Programmer ‘Lotus  4-5-6‘: “In space no one can hear you scream!”

Lead Game Designer ‘Electric Blue‘: “You’ll believe a man can fly!”

Wow, heavy stuff there 🙂

Mark your calendars everyone: August 3. On that day, the future of electronic gaming will arrive right here on this blog…

The Tale of Mycroft and Stocking

Have you heard of Avalon Island? If not, then you’re missing out because a diverse group of citizens is really making it an interesting place to live.

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That’s the latest census shot. Take a close look at the front row. There are some familiar faces there! There’s a dude that looks like me, a girl that looks like KLS, and people that look like Adam, Bernard and Florence. Very weird place, Avalon is. You’ll also note a diverse range of other citizens including Einstein, David Bowie, Ali G and even Admiral Ackbar. What an island!!

The islanders have many talents, and I’m particularly interested in their musical abilities. It didn’t take long for instance for Florry and Severus Snape (who must have moved here from Hogwarts) to form a band and start recording techno music. I present the first single by ‘Dark Artists’ named Operation Robodachi:

Now that’s talent! And not only can Florry sing, but she’s also a yoga savant!

But let’s get to the matter at hand, which is a chronologue of a recent ultra-dramatic event that occured on Avalon.

Meet Stocking (of Panty & Stocking fame), here shown in one of her daily jobs as a newsreader:

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Cute isn’t she? Anyway she came to me and said she had a mad crush on Mycroft (the guy that looks like Adam). I was not surprised by this, since I had already seen the latest poll of all the girls on the island:

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Woah, there’s something about those top three guys that just get the female hearts fluttering! I wonder what it could be?

Anyway, I told Stocking to go for it. “Be cute”, I said, “and confess to Mycroft on the beach!”. And she did…

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He was silent for a moment… and then he said…

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OMG!!! He spurned her! Or, in her own words:

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Poor stocking.

So what happened? Why was such a cute girl rejected by the islands most eligible bachelor? Well the answer is quite simply really. Mycroft has no time for love, since he has sold his soul to rock-and-roll. Behold, the debut single of the new Avalon metal trio The Three Kings:

OMG what talent! Could pop princess Florry have competition for the Avalon charts? And what does she think of the Mycroft x Stocking drama? When asked, her only response was:

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