Category: Miscellaneous

Twenty Things We Saw At Another Fair

After the fair last week, one of KLS’s workmates suggest we visit another fair, about 90 minutes south of here. Everything about it was supposed to be bigger and better than Altamont, including the rides.

We had to go!

So go we did, to the Duchess County Fair in Rhinebeck, NY. We got there shortly after it opened and stayed for more than six hours. Quite simply, this fair had more to see than could ever be seen and more to do than could ever be done.

We tried though, and here is some of what we saw:

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1) County fairs celebrate agriculture and farming, so is it a surprise to see something like the above? What about…

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2) The JCB ‘dancing diggers’ performance. Such hydraulic power! Such structural integrity! I have never seen such a beautiful performance of choreographed excavators before!

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3) We saw a robot named Oscar…

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4) And an old master painting a masterpiece onto a mirror!

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5) The food selections were mind boggling. KLS had a crab cake platter, and I…

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6) had a lamb gyro. I was planning on getting a corn dog later but… I’ll get to that…

Lets talk about the animals! There were a bazillion of them there, representing countless different species, for example:

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7) Porkers…

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8) A tiny horse…

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9) An evil giant bird…

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10) An insane, metal-eating armor-clad sheep…

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11) A lazy bugger…

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666) And Satan!

We also saw camels, long-jumping hounds, rabbits, fowl, monkeys and even two coatimundi!

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13) Here we see KLS next to the prize-winning Christmas tree. Every type of plant you could imagine was being shown and judged including…

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14) A room full of flowers!

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15) That’s the prize-winning Dahlia. Can you grow them this well?

16) Speaking of prize-winning, here’s a remarkable piece of art we assume is The Greatest American Hero:

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And of course, we saw the rides! Unlike Altamont, rides were not included in the entry price and cost about $5 each. There were dozens of them in all shapes and sizes, three of which I was very interested in riding. They were:

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17) ‘The Claw’, a contraption with so many axis of rotation it may outdo The Zipper! Looking at it, I knew it would ruin me πŸ™

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18) The ‘Sky Diver’, a sort of leveled-up Ferris Wheel in which you’d spend half your time upside down!

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19) The ‘Fire Ball’, known to aficionados like myself as the ‘Superlooper’. I hadn’t ridden one in 30 years and even though I feared it would ruin me the pull of nostalgia was strong. I sat KLS on a shady seat, shuffled off and before I could change my mind purchased a ticket from a grizzled felon, hopped on the ride and buckled myself into the front seat. Here’s what I looked like immediately afterwards:

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20) Yes my friends, I was ruined. Even now, almost a day later I can remember the dizziness. I curse the god that makes me sick on all these wonderful rides I love :< After, I noted that I was significantly older than almost every person riding any ride. Have I outgrown these things? I hope not. Post-fireball illness aside, the fair was spectacular. We will certainly be back next year :)

Oz Slang

Occasionally SFL asks me about Australian slang, and it occurred to me I’d never done a post about the slang of my home country. I’ll remedy that today with a few specific terms from my youth πŸ™‚

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“havin’ a go” – to play an arcade or video game

“I was havin’ a go of Robotron when I realized I’d spent me maccas cash!”

I still use this one today, and only the other day KLS confirmed it was a piece of my vernacular she’d never heard anyone else use (as opposed to ‘playing’). When I was a kid, we didn’t play video games, we had a go at them!

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“doubles” – playing a video game multiplayer

“I was havin’ a go at Forgotten Worlds when some hoon joined in and started playing doubles with me!”

Not sure if this one is used any more by anyone but me. I suppose the term ‘multiplayer’ has supplanted it completely.

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“clocked” – played a game to or beyond the end

“Yeah mate, I clocked Slap Fight on one man and just walked away!”

In the very old days, most games had 5 or 6 digit scores, so any score above 99990 or 999990 would reset to 0 and continue. This became known as ‘clocking the game’ in Australia (‘roll over’ in the USA) and in time the term also applied to playing games past the end or simply beating the game itself. For instance, when you beat the final boss in the game Slap Fight (shown above) the game would just return to the start and you would play on. Since I was able to beat the game without ever dying, this means in theory I could have played forever!

It was also a badge of pride. There was no better reply to a question like “Have you played Sanxion?” than “Clocked it.”

I very much doubt ‘clocking’ is used any more by the younger generations. I think ‘beating’ or ‘finishing’ has replaced it.

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“triple flapper” – using the middle three fingers of your hand to achieve hitherto-unseen rates of button pushing

“He was showing off by using the triple flapper so I destroyed him with my juicy juice bottle!”

The games Track and Field and its sequel, Hyper Olympics required very fast button presses to achieve good scores. Simply pushing the button over and over again using one finger was passable, but ultimately not as successful and using the ‘triple flapper’ technique where the index, middle and fourth fingers were drummed successively onto the button. It took some practice, but if mastered could increase your button pushes by a magnitude of 2 or 3. I mastered it, and frequently amazed neophyte Hyper Olympians with long jumps or javelin throws they had never even dreamed of!

I’m not sure where this term originated, but it was widely used amongst my group of friends. A few of us even resurrected the term in the days of Street Fighter II to describe M Bison’s distinctive scissor kick (since his feet looked like fingers doing the triple flapper).

As an aside, the triple flapper was itself obsoleted by the use of a prop that existed solely to get better Track and Field scores! I speak of the Juicy Juice bottle. Some enterprising arcade wizard discovered you could cut the neck off a bottle, insert two fingers, and swipe it left and right across the button achieving near supernatural scores. I made one myself, and even modified it using some clever cuts and tape, and famously (?) was once ejected from an indoor cricket center by the owner when she saw me using it to ‘cheat’ at Track and Field πŸ™‚

Video games were serious business in those days!

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I’m sure I’m forgetting some. Adam and Bernard, remember any others?

Twenty Things We Saw At The Fair

It was time once again to visit the annual Altamont fair! It doesn’t change much from year to year, but I can’t resist the lure of the rides! Here’s twenty things we saw today:

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1) A new ride, called ‘Pharoah’s Fury’. Basically a version of the Pirate Ship, this was notable for the 90 degree maximum incline that created sustained zero-g. KLS was screaming almost non-stop. A very fun ride πŸ™‚

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2) Another new ride, called ‘Vertigo’. I was impressed with how high it was! Unfortunately, since it’s a rotator, I didn’t ride it due to motion sickness.

3) All the old favourite rides returned, staffed by the usual gang of creepy murderous ex-felons carnies. We saw a guy ‘fixing’ The Zipper using a piece of string (not a joke!)

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4) I saw KLS eat delicious fries with me, shortly after I had eaten a hamburger myself.

5) We saw this device, but for the life of us couldn’t work out what it was called or what it was supposed to do:

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6) We saw a tiny, tiny goat:

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7) And a kangaroo with a joey in it’s pouch. She bent down to eat some grass and the joey ate as well!

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8) We saw a very special duck…

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9) And an evil looking chicken…

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10) And a happy sheep… in a barn full of happy sheep πŸ™‚

11) Over in the art contest displays, we even saw Doctor Who!

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12) Nearby, the first prize winning scarecrow wasn’t perhaps as scary as you’d imagine:

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13) Here is a princess being defended by a dragon:

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14) Heading back to the midway, past the vendors selling spa’s, blenders and insurance, I found an unusual sight!

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15) We didn’t go on that many rides, mostly because they almost all go in circles. The Ferris Wheel is always fun though. Right next to it this year was a ‘cryptozoology museum’ with some extraordinary art hanging out the front:

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16) Oh, I almost forgot! The giraffe was back:

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17) As was the circus we saw last year. We didn’t go since we were a bit tired and it was very, very hot.

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18) The games on the midway are as dubious as ever. Surprising prizes this time around included live goldfish and knives!

19) The animals are fun, but for me the fair is always about the garbage food…

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20) And the big, noisy, scary and quite possibly life-threateningly dangerous rides:

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I just wish I was 12 again, so I could ride them all without getting sick πŸ™‚