Category: Miscellaneous

Fireworks Shopping

These past two weekends we’ve driven interstate (to PA and NH) to buy fireworks for our annual backyard (in Rochester) celebration. As always, it’s a lot of fun seeing the variety of product available and imaging the fun of setting it off.

The above – 16000 little firecrackers (what we used to call ‘crazy jacks’ in my youth) – is about as big as the wheel on your typical car. Imagine the noise and smoke as this thing went off. Wouldn’t it be incredible?

And the above – an $860 assortment – is 60 shells that would produce effects similar to what you’d see at a professional show. It still amazes me that in some states you can just buy this stuff and let it off in your backyard. While we bought a few launching fireworks, they’re very tame and neither go high or produce much noise.

Speaking of noise: 750 missiles! This thing takes more than two minutes to fire all the missiles, and each missile whistles and then bangs in the air. While it would be spectacular, I imagine this would be the sort of thing that may have the neighbors calling the rozzers in our suburb (since these sorts of things are currently illegal in our county).

The packaging of the bigger fireworks is always wonderful, and here I focus on a few of the genre ones (although in 2023 a reference to the ‘Majestic 12’ is a bit esoteric). Here’s a few others:

Can you spot the blatant copyright infringement on two of the above? If it’s not obvious, here’s some that is:

The label designer obviously have fun with these products (which, remember, are designed to be set on fire), and every now and then there are head-scratching examples like this one:

We bought a bunch of items from several shops, and our ‘show’ promises to be a good one. At Joyce’s request we tried to only buy low-noise fireworks, and that included this selection of fountains we’ve got:

We’ve had one or two low noise fountains before (they mostly make a low hiss due to the sparks coming out) so it will be interesting seeing what these are like.

That said it’s possible that some of the fountains we got may make a few crackles, but for obvious reasons how could we pass on…

…a skull and a spinning snake?!? Imagine if such things had been available when we were kids?

I also can’t resist a good sword (handheld fountains, basically) and you know there was no chance I’d pass up this lightsaber firework!

And this is just a selection of what we’ll be lighting up on Tuesday. As usual I’ll try to catch the excitement in pictures and maybe video and follow up later in the week 🙂

Fry Guy

I ate fries at five fast food places here in Oz. How did they compare? Let’s find out!

McDonalds fries are exactly as you’d expect since they taste the same everywhere. They have a familiar if unremarkable taste but the excessive salt is a distraction from a hint of grease and perhaps even an inkling of regret. Of the five types of fry I tested, these were the worst (and yet paradoxically the ones I ate the most).

Hungry Jack’s (aka. Burger King) served up robust and tasty fries with a slight crispy snap to them. I got these three times and every time they were piping hot, not too salted, and delicious! And yet, I’d only rank these fourth of the five…

The above sad excuse for a fry serving was from Henny Penny, but they tasted much better than they looked. But this review is based on the large serving Sue and I shared a few days prior, which was delightful. Unfortunately I forgot to take a photo but the fries were hot as hell, thick and full of potato energy, not greasy at all and dusted with delicious chicken salt. They were fantastic, but still only the third best of the five I tried.

Incidentally I feel obliged to showcase the ‘chicken roll’ I bought at Henny Penny, which was undoubtedly the single worst piece of food ever served to me:

Cold garbage chicken on a stale roll: this travesty was possibly excreted by Satan and I hurled it into a bin at light speed!

I’ve only had KFC once this trip, but it was in the middle of a long walk and I was very hungry at the time. The fries were extraordinary! Crispy and fluffy inside, they were golden brown and drenched in chicken salt. I devoured them in seconds, would happily eat more, and yet they’re still not the best I’ve had this trip.

And so we get to Oporto. I’ve had it several times this trip, and every time the fries were perfectly cooked, served hot, generously portioned (the above is a small serving), chicken-salted and tasted wonderful. And I don’t even have to give them extra points for giving me the longest fry I’ve ever seen! So just as Oporto served the best chicken tenders last year, this year they served me the best fries 🙂

Truth be told though, the fries at all five of these fast food places were all good, and even the worst were tasty. But if you’ve only got time for one fast food visit in Oz, as always my suggestion remains Oporto!

The Reptile House

Today I visited the Australian Reptile Park with Sue, Yvette (a friend from childhood), Fang (Sue’s coworker), Marina and Tan (two Japanese exchange students, one of which is staying with Yvette).

We saw many things, including snake milking, funnel web spiders, lots of lizards, a dark-furred dog dingo, koalas, a platypus, frogs, birds, bats and even a Komodo dragon!

The highlight of the park is of course their massive saltwater crocodile ‘Elvis’, who is currently 4.75 m long and has a jaw pressure of 5000 psi! He was a truly massive beast, and the guy that fed him must have nerves of steel:

For me the highlight was – as always – the kangaroos! I read that wild kangaroo attacks increased during Covid but the beasts they had at the park were having none of that and happily let me pat their fuzzy heads. As I knew they would, they saw in me a kindred spirit.

The two Japanese girls had a great time. They’re in Australia learning English and I quizzed them a lot about both Japan and their experience here (short version: they both love Australia). The park was a great place to take them since it’s all about Australian animals nearly all of which they’d never seen in-person.

It was a fun day, but also tiring since I’m still a little jet-lagged. But I got to pat some kangaroos and that memory will last me a good long while 🙂

I’m in Newcastle with mum now by the way. I’ve already eaten way too much candy as well. It’s time to start walking it off…