Robot Claw

Time for more chicken ramen!

Lucky Me Chicken (300 Calories, 14 g fat, 1410 mg sodium)

This is a weirdly tasting product, vaguely like ‘Chinese food’ but not at all like (artificial) chicken. The more I ate the greasier it tasted, and about halfway through it had become so repulsive I couldn’t finish it. But I suspect this was more me than the product, and it may be a taste enjoyed by some? An unsure 4/10.

Mama (260 Calories, 11 g fat, 1420 mg sodium)

Another imported product, this time for the Thai market. Once again this tasted nothing like the ‘chicken’ taste I’m used to, and instead was reminiscent of burned toast. The broth was weirdly dark and oily, and the noodles gelatinous. One of the worst I’ve tasted in the dozens I’ve eaten so far. An easy 0/10.

Tradition Chicken Style Noodle Bowl (340 Calories, 15 g fat, 1430 mg sodium)

The last two products by this manufacturer were bad, but I wondered if one of them had a defect since it didn’t contain any flavor. So when I opened this larger-sized version of the same thing I was optimistic since it had not one but two flavor packets – and a tiny fork!

Alas, once prepared it smelled just as bad as the brick version that I also reviewed last time. It’s a truly awful smell – like a dark old house – and difficult to ignore. The noodles had the consistency of electrical wiring and the taste was like dirty water. After three products by this manufacturer, I wonder who their audience is?

I’d give this maybe 1/10, but this score is tempered by the fact that KLS ate it! I therefore asked for her comments, and she said: “Bland and inoffensive, 4/10!”

The long-awaited day has arrived: I found more chicken ramen! A lot more in fact, so the series will now resume. Let’s go…

Tradition Noodles Soup Chicken Flavor (290 Calories, 6 g fat, 960 mg sodium)

This is a kosher product which has artificial taste. My hopes were high since the king of all chicken ramen (Gefen) is similar, but when I opened the cup I was surprised to see no flavor packet. It was just noodles, with perhaps the slightest trace of flavoring dried onto them.

I followed the instructions and it cooked well, but there was just no taste. It was just hot water with flavorless noodles in it. The definition of empty calories. Was mine a defect? Who knows, but I didn’t eat it and based on what I did try this is an easy 0/10.

Tradition Ramen Noodle Soup Chicken Flavor (360 Calories, 16 g fat, 1540 mg sodium)

Let’s try the brick version of the same product. Compared to other bricks this seemed to have a lot of calories/fat/sodium so the taste potential was high. Given the seeming absence of flavor in the cup I was surprised by the size of the flavor pack in this, which was about twice as big as in other bricks.

They noodles cooked well and everything seemed good until I opened and added the flavor. It smelled absolutely awful. Our entire kitchen was filled with a vile smell like rotting vegetables and it took quite a bit of fortitude for me to actually try the finished product.

Surprise surprise, it was dire. It tasted as bad as it smelled: more like dirt than chicken. It’s hard to understand how this is even marketed as a chicken product, or who would enjoy this. One bite was more than enough for me! Since it was worse than the cup I have to give -5/10

Gefen Noodle Soup Hearty Chicken Flavor (300 Calories, 13 g fat, 1200 mg sodium)

I have more products by Tradition, but after the two above they will have to wait. It was time to try the alternate flavor of Gefen that recently appeared in stores.

‘Hearty chicken’ it says, but the nutritional info is identical to their plain chicken flavor, and aside from the nifty purple packaging everything about it looks the same, including the contents.

I eagerly cooked it, waiting to see how hearty it was compared to the other. I even used the included fork for the full experience! One taste was all I needed: this is exactly the same as the ‘normal’ chicken Gefen cup!

But that’s hardly a critique, since a Gefen chicken cup is the King of Ramen. This therefore is the king in another gown, just as regal, and just as delicious. Without a doubt, this is another 10/10!

Next installment you can look forward to some more unusual (but still plain chicken) products, as this taster ventures into culinary areas he may have never visited before. Stay tuned…