Category: Miscellaneous

Animal Contest: Halftime!

A new year meant a new postcard contest, where the worlds most amateur artists would once again render a selection of topics and have them judged. Things were mixed up this time, and the rules were as follows:

  • The subjects are all animals
  • We would paint each using watercolors
  • There are twelve animals in total: Five judges pick two each, and mum picks the first and last

Six are done and the judging is complete. Let’s see the standing at the halfway point…

Panda

Mum’s first pick was a real surprise, but I won’t say what I thought she’d pick since she’s got one more coming. The watercolor nature of the contest immediately made it more difficult than the portraits! We’re both using watercolor pencils, and in the early weeks I drew a pencil drawing then wet it to achieve the paint effect, which meant detail was extremely difficult. However… Bernard ignored the rules and didn’t even create a watercolor!

Mine (on the right) was given the win by the judges with a score of 4.7-0.3 (Bernard got a tiny nod due to cuteness).

Here’s a comment from one judge about mine:
Movement and emotion are conveyed and one can almost hear the panda munching away on his bamboo.

Eagle

Mine is on the right and Bernard’s on the left and once again (sigh) we see he failed to add water and therefore didn’t create an actual watercolor. He feigned ignorance of the rules at this point, but it was clear he was exploiting the fact the judges themselves were ignoring the rules since he won this one 3-2. One judge even said Left doesn’t look like an eagle but it has more detail so it gets my vote! Imagine that: giving your vote to the non-watercolor that doesn’t even look like the topic!

It was at this point that the truth of this contest was becoming clear: the judges are inscrutable and whimsy and emotion factors as much into their decisions as artistic merit. This would have to be carefully considered by the artists…

Betta (Siamese Fighting Fish)

A salute to the judge that picked this, since it allowed liberal use of color! The strong difference between each approach made this a harder choice for the judges. Ultimately Bernard (on the right) won 3-2 but I sensed it was very close.

Some judges comments:
Left is the first one that actually looks like a watercolor
Right looks like a goldfish!”
“Right is more three-dimensional with a beautiful impression of fluidity

Incidentally I was very happy with the shading on my fish (the light spot on the upper back), which wasn’t easy for me to obtain. I don’t think any judges noticed it 🙂

Cute Domestic Housecat

This one was unusual since the judge added a condition: cuteness was key, and an image of a plain cat would be valued less than a cute cat. No judge had done this previously (or since), but as artists both B and I accepted the condition without comment. I took it very seriously and my creation is on the right, with Bernard’s on the left. Which one is cuter?

Ultimately the win was mine 3-2, but three judges split their votes, with the biggest being 0.3/0.7! Two judges commented that they gave me more points despite the technical skill shown in Bernard’s being greater since they assumed/understood that mine was in accordance with the criteria.

One judge decided Bernard’s was technically better and cuter with this comment:
The definition of cuteness I will follow is ‘attractiveness that is pretty and endearing’. Left displays considerable skill in the choice of colors and the minimal application. The shadows on the face convey the soft shape and are extremely well done; the cat peeks out of the page with a perfect expression of indifference. The soft pink of the ears and subtle grey shadows lend strength to the brilliant blue/green eyes which make this exceedingly pretty and irresistably endearing. The cuteness factor is off the chart!

Isn’t it interesting that we both chose white cats with grey shadows and both used pink as a secondary colour?

Gorilla

Another surprise choice, from a judge who I expected would have picked any number of other animals. Mine is on the left, and Bernard’s on the right. The judges wasted no time in their deliberation, and awarded Bernard the win 3.3-1.7 (yes, more split votes).

I went with bombast in my depiction, intending to evoke Kong silhouetted against the sun. But my intention exceeded my ability, and some of the finer detail of my pencil drawing was lost when wetted (see below).

Here are some judges comments:
I can’t get over the expression of left
I’ll pick the silverback on the right; I like the use of light
Left is a tortured gorilla’s cream on behalf of all gorillas killed by selfish and greedy humans to satisfy a rich mans ego. The bold lines and dramatic colors evoke deep trauma and injustice. A world in which this typically peaceful giant is hunted and abused is an ugly world indeed and this artwork reminds me to be angry and sad and to do something to make the world better for all the beautiful creatures that live in it before human stupidity destroys all of it. Right is peaceful and gentle by comparison. The colors are soft and natural. A gorilla going about his day bored of any human observer. It is a fine artwork but the indifferent beauty depicted serves to intensify the impact of the emotion portrayed by left.

Snake

Two judges are impossible to predict, one likes bold color, and two respond to dramatic imagery. This was my conclusion by this point, so to win I had to use bold colors and do more than a simple depiction of the subject. When Snake was chosen, the obvious choice therefore was Lucifer and his apple, and my depiction is on the left. I had been impressed by Bernard’s gorilla and queried him about his techniques. As a result this was the first time I didn’t simply draw a pencil illustration and wet it: I also applied the pencils directly to the wet postcard and mixed paints on a palette and applied them using a super-fine brush I cut down just to show the scales. As this one went into the mail, I was confident.

As it turns out the judges agreed and gave me the unanimous win: 5-0. I can see flaws in mine, but I think B had a few missteps here, not the least of being a lack of  ‘mouth definition’ (which three judges cited).

Here’s some of the comments:
Right looks like a cross between a snake and an alligator!”
“Left makes me think of a hidden danger in a gamebook, where the critter on the right is a tad eel-ish for my money.”
“Great texture in snake and apple”
“Use of the apple in left is very clever… The colors contrast and compliment to a lovely effect… The eye is odd but suits the supposedly friendly nature of the snake to tempt a sweet virgin to taste forbidden fruit!” (This was the only judge that commented on the biblical theme.)

And so, after six animals, the tally is: we are currently tied with 3 wins each! This is good for the contest, but hard for us. I was hoping for an early lead to I could ‘get experimental’, but with the competition as tight as it is every card matters and I must always think of the judges as I decide what to create.

Here’s some behind-the-scenes photos of some of my creations before I added water:

And here’s my cute cat in pencils:

One aspect of the contest invisible to judges are that we are both using an identical set of twelve postcards. This was an arbitrary decision of mine (I printed two copies of a 12-card set several months back) and only after we decided this did I realize this added an extra wrinkle: we couldn’t discard a picture and start again since we wouldn’t have enough postcards! So if we want to practice we need to use other cards. Bernard has done just that a few times, and he has also been sending me his practice arts, none of which were intended for judge submission. Here’s his alternate ‘cute domestic housecat’ and ‘betta’. He won Betta but I won Cat, do you think he could have won had he submitted this one:

As usual in about six weeks I’ll follow up with the final results. As of right now, this is anyone’s game 🙂

Medieval Blacksmith

Every now and then a LEGO kit comes along that seems like it was specifically designed for me. This is one example:

Meticulously designed and detailed, as soon as I saw this kit I knew I had to have it. These past two weeks I’ve put it together (after dismantling and storing away the tree house).

The kit is built in three parts, designed to be easily separated for play or simply to appreciate the detail. Every level of the house has a fully furnished interior including the forge and tools, a kitchen/living area and a bedroom (in the third floor) with master bed and bear rug on the floor:

You can see in the above pic that the roof easily lifts off to access the interior. This is a particularly clever piece of engineering since it’s not immediately obvious why the roof stays on as securely as it does!

The exteriors are as detailed as the interiors, and you can see above how the timber framing is added, a touch that makes the model look more like the medieval German buildings this kit is based upon.

The kit comes with a light brick which gives the furnace a red glow when it is activated. Back in our youth LEGO used primitive versions of these sorts of bricks a lot, but now they’re led-based and the power supply is a tiny battery sealed inside the brick!

Here we see the forge which is accessibly (by the blacksmith minifig) both indoors or out. I’m pushing in the bellows which are connected to the light brick, and you can see the heat of the furnace in the above pic 🙂

Speaking of minifigs, the kit comes with a smith, an archer, two knights, a horse and a dog. Not to mention a variety of weapons and a cart to haul it all around in. It seems like this particular smith works for the military, as opposed to simple tools or nails.

I love this kit. In my opinion it’s one of the most attractive models LEGO has yet released, and it’s not too big to display on a shelf.

Self-contained original sets like this are what I prefer these days, and there’s a lot of unusual structures or buildings that I think deserve a professional LEGO treatment. In particular I hope the lighthouse they announced last year (based on this LEGO idea) ends up being as good as this blacksmith!

Pirates vs Robots!

We recently watched all five Pirates Of The Caribbean and all five Transformers films in order. Both series were massive hits, spanned around the same time period (2003 – 2017) and made about the same total amount at the box office (about 5 billion). Let’s compare the series film-by-film!

The Curse of the Black Pearl vs Transformers

The first Pirates film holds up quite well, although seems weirdly subdued by today’s action-film standards. Johnny Depp is likeable enough as Captain Jack Sparrow, but only at a distance, and I wonder if the series would have served better riffing on the setting rather than the character. The other actors do a good job, and the film does a great job resurrecting the swashbuckling genre for a modern age. The special effects are ancient today, but still look good. Lots of fun even twenty years later.

Transformers is bombastic and frenetic but was such a massive hit that it led directly to the action-over-plot films of today. The robots looks great, even if the transformation sequences are needlessly complicated, but the human actors are superfluous and even at times repulsive (I’m looking at you Shia). The film is also obsessed with shots of the US military, to the point it becomes disturbingly like a recruitment film. A fun watch, but mostly forgettable.

Comparing the two, I’d say that Curse of The Black Pearl is easily the more entertaining.

Dead Mans Chest vs Revenge Of The Fallen

Pirates 2 is where the franchise really took sail. The filmmakers cleverly improved on every aspect of the original and raised the stakes in every way. The character of squidlike Davy Jones is one of the strongest the series ever had, and the decision to make this well-plotted story a two-parter, was a good one. Visually it’s extraordinary, and it still remains the best Pirates film.

By comparison, Transformers 2 is a mess. The characters (and human story) take even more of a backseat to mad robot action to the extent that the scenes with Shia Lebouf or (even worse) Megan Fox are so ridiculous you can almost hear the scriptwriters desperately trying to make their lines relevant. Of course the robots are still great – special mention to Devestator eating a pyramid – but it’s a mostly disposable film that failed to improve on the first.

Compared, Dead Mans Chest is easily the better of the two.

At Worlds End vs Dark Of The Moon

Pirates 3 wrapped up the story of 2, but cleverly introduced a few new twists and characters. The always watchable Geoffrey Rush returns as Barbossa, and a lot of screen time is given to the delightful Naomi Harris as Tia/Calypso. While not as sublime as the previous film, this is still a masterclass in Hollywood action movies and would have been a fitting end to the entire series.

Transformers 3 is where the series descends into madness. Leonard Nimoy plays Sentinel Prime, a villian that quotes Star Trek (I kid you not) as he tries to turn Earth into Cybertron. Shia Lebouf is back as Sam Witwicky, and he’s managed to get himself an even more irritating (and beautiful) girlfriend. It’s all lunacy, but the action scenes are so over the top (a gigantic transforming robot worm tunnels through buildings) it’s strangely watchable. This is where you start accepting that the scripts are trash and turn your mind off and enjoy the pretty images. It’s objectively a terrible film, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Once again, comparing the two I’d hand it to At World End.

On Stranger Tides vs Age Of Extinction

Pirates 4 is a misstep for the franchise. This is ‘the mermaid one’ and features the pirate Blackbeard as he (and a mostly new band of heroes) search for the fountain of youth. By this film Captain Jack has become a weird gibbering fool, and contributes so little to the plot I question his inclusion. Blackbeard steals every scene he’s in, so it’s puzzling how underutilized he (and his magical boat) is. This is a Pirates film that occurs almost entirely on land, and raises some difficult questions about the ‘Pirates universe’ that we still don’t have answers for. Still fun, but not as much as previous films.

Transformers 4 is so crazy it’s hard to believe it was made. It’s a bit of a series reboot, and the hero is now Marky Mark. The opening sequence where he finds a dormant Optimus Prime is subdued and works quite well but just when you think the filmmakers have decided to dial back a bit it goes off the rails with a nanomachine-based resurrected Megatron and then further off the rails with dinosaur transformers that could be millions of years old?!? There’s gaping plot holes aplenty, and lots of characters that don’t have any valid role in the film, but those shots of Optimus riding a T-Rex into battle whilst wielding a massive broadsword are cinematic gold. The best Transformers film yet.

For the first time I’d say that Age Of Extinction beats On Stranger Tides for entertainment value.

Dead Men Tell No Tales vs The Last Knight

Pirates 5 tells a tale of an undead pirate on a quest to defeat (guess who?) Captain Jack Sparrow. Of course our heroes devise a plan to prevent this, and it requires them to retrieve Poseidon’s trident?!? Yes apparently the god Poseidon exists in the Pirates universe (and he’s not even the first god in this film series), and you can imagine how bonkers this plot is to fit that in. The special effects are breathtaking and the visuals at times gorgeous, but this film is overly loaded with CGI and in some way feels fundamentally different from the previous ones. Props to the cute new girl, who we learn is Barbossa’s (yes he’s back) daughter, and the way this film ties up a few loose ends from previous films. But once again Depp is a weak link and overall the film fails to recapture past glories.

Transformers 5 is famously insane: this is the one where the filmmakers apparently thought gigantic intelligent transforming robots was too bland so they had to work in the entire Arthurian myth as well. It also weirdly retcons previous films (transformers fought in the World Wars?), has way too many characters, plot holes aplenty and by its end all but destroys the world. There are glimpses of greatness in this film, like the scene where Megatron negotiates the release of his goons, or (as always for this series) whenever Optimus is swinging a sword, but the action scenes overall are just stupidly over the top and the grim ending (and post credits sequel opening) leave a bad taste.

Two weak films then, each arguably the worst of their series. Comparing both, I’d give the slight edge to Dead Men Tell No Tales.

Overall then, by my reckoning in a battle of Pirates vs Robots it seems the Pirates win, and easily, with 4 victories to only 1.

And yet… there is a sixth Transformers film, and to the surprise of everyone it was genuinely great. Yes I speak of Bumblebee, the charming reboot with a story about Bumblebee arriving on Earth. Maybe I was just dazzled by Hailee Steinfeld, but I loved this film and would rate it above every Pirates film!

And there’s also apparently two more Pirates films in some level of development, and a seventh Transformers film (Rise Of The Beasts) has been filmed and is due for release next year. Maybe one day I’ll have to follow up this post with further critique 🙂