Robot Claw

This morning we drove north from Massachusetts into the town of Salem (not that Salem) in New Hampshire to visit this place:

This privately owned tourist site opened in 1958 and purports to show ruins of human habitation dating back 4000 years.

The ruins are somewhat expansive, consisting of many stone walls, several covered chambers and even a great stone ‘table’. Visitors self-guide themselves in and around the ruins, but today it wasn’t popular and we had the entire site to ourselves.

The guide sheet given out describes the notable sections, but is deliberately vague in certain details, not the least of which is how old the ruins actually are or who built them.

What is revealed – and to their credit they don’t hide this, although perhaps the language could be clearer – is that the known age of the stonework is about 200 years ago when a man (named Pattee) owned the land and built foundations and cellers himself using stones he personally collected. After his death his son sold the stones to a quarry, which left many of the structures in disrepair.

About a hundred years later (in 1937) the site was purchased by a man named Goodwin who had a strong belief it had once been settled by Europeans long before Columbus, and he probably rearranged and enhanced the ruined structures to better fit his narrative. And thus ‘America’s Stonehenge’ was born. Goodwin was not an archaeologist, and had no evidence of his beliefs (and there has never been any evidence of pre-Columbus European occupation of America) but this didn’t stop him from rebuilding the site to how he assumed such peoples would have used it.

These days the site has embraced the Stonehenge moniker quite a bit, and in addition to the original ruins has erected additionally ‘astronomically aligned’ stones in various places, as well as holding events on solstices and equinoxes. It’s all a bit mystical, as are the claims that parts of the site are aligned with polar directions (which I’m sure is a coincidence at best). There’s also vague allusions to rituals and mysterious meanings behind certain parts of the site. This feels like a deception to attract more tourists, and I feel the site would be good enough just focusing on the known history.

America’s Stonehenge used to be called ‘Mystery Spot’ but changed its name in 1982 to avoid association with those crackpot roadside tourist traps with ‘weird gravitational fields’. In the Mystery Spot era it was the focus of an episode of In Search Of, the infamous TV series hosted by Leonard Nimoy himself! Insanely, the episode (which doesn’t seem to be on YouTube) apparently claims the site is Minoan, despite the fact there’s absolutely no evidence for this! In honor of such madness, that’s me as a Minotaur above.

Before Goodwin bought the site, when it was presumably still in disrepair, one visitor was none other that Howard Phillips Lovecraft himself! It’s even been suggested the stonework influenced some of his florid prose. In his eyes, we could imagine, these cyclopean stones dug out of a field by a farmer not a century prior were antediluvian hints at a lost civilization.

There’s more controversy as well, about the spurious carbon dating, or the ‘sacrificial table’ or how the site was vandalized by a right-wing nut job a few years back. This is historical site that over the years has developed a history of its own!

Lest I sound too negative in this post, let me conclude by saying we greatly enjoyed visiting America’s Stonehenge. Although it was a bit hot, and every small flying bug in America was there to greet us, we spent an hour in real history, just perhaps not as old as some believe. And we followed in the footsteps of none other than Spock himself, and saw and wondered about the same views that sparked the literature of Lovecraft himself. I’m very glad we went.

We’re on a little road trip, and today drove the Mohawk Trail into Massachusetts. It’s a very old scenic road with a rich history.

The above is the ‘Hail To The Sunrise’ statue, which has stood beside the road in a small park for about 90 years. It commemorates the Mohawk tribes who were the native inhabitants of this part of the US.

This is the ‘Bridge of Flowers’ in Shelburne Falls. It’s an old tram bridge that was converted to a pedestrian garden a few decades ago. It’s heavily planted with a large variety of flowers and a lovely way to cross the river.

Not far from the bridge are the ‘glacial potholes’ that give the town its name. It was a very hot day and the cool spray from the waterfall was pleasant.

Just after taking the above photo we saw a tiny Pomeranian dog with paralyzed back legs using a set of wheels to get around, while nearby stood a handsomely dressed and well-manicured elderly Indian gentleman with hair and beard dyed a brilliant – almost neon – orange colour like Fanta! Neither were the sorts of things you see every day 🙂

Our hotel is enormous! It’s a wedding venue but there’s no weddings this weekend, so there’s almost no guests. We were the only customers in the restaurant that seats hundreds, and since it had been years since I’d sat in a table service restaurant I was shocked by the insane portion sizes. The food was good though, even if we didn’t eat it all.

Tomorrow we leave Massachusetts and head north into New Hampshire to visit a most curious attraction….

Today I’ll showcase a motley collection of Star Wars items and ephemera, again recovered from a couple of boxes that had been stored in my vault and unopened for a decade or more.

When I did the first ten treasures post years ago, I showed two cake-toppers, and mentioned a second pair. Here they are! I’m impressed with the detail of these guys, but they’ll never grace a cake, and in fact by the time you read this may already be in a landfill!

As part of the 2010 Clone Wars merchandising blitz, I picked up this insane bag of Star Wars ‘collectible bands’. Do you remember this trend, where kids very briefly became excited to collect rubber bands? I opened the bag just now and the bands were sticky, deformed and the colors had bled (look at 3PO’s head). I tossed them all into the trash with a giggle.

I was so excited when the first Episode I merchandise hit shops, but interestingly the first items we found were on a clothing store. I bought a towel, boxers and the above Velcro wallet, and I still have all three today. The towel and boxers have been used many times over the years, but this wallet is still mint. Even in 1999 Velcro wallets were out of date!

These ‘Valentines’ from 2009 show how cynical marketing for this holiday has become. Every year the shops are full of these licensed things: tiny little cards (in this case lenticular) that kids are supposed to give to their classmates. They’re just empty trash, and I imagine most of them end up in garbage cans before the day is out. Keeping these for 14 years, as I did, made the trashing of them all the sweeter.

Speaking of licensed trash, the above candy Canes (which date to 2011 and expired in 2012) are the shallowest examples. The Star Wars link goes no further than the box and the plastic wrapping, and even for the $0.50 I paid 12 years ago I wasted my money. It’s also worth mentioning that in a weeks worth of items showcased on this blog, the above may best be worthy of the obvious question: “Why?”

These ‘tazos’ are amongst the oldest Star Wars merchandise I own, being released in 1996 to promote the special editions. They are circular plastic cards about the size of poker chips with Star Wars scenes printed on the front. I have the entire set of 50 and I have no idea where I got them, since they were only available in England and were distributed in Walkers chips!

Adam mailed me this beer coaster almost 20 years ago. It’s not technically a Star Wars item, but it riffs on a famous line from Empire, although it (intentionally?) misquotes the film. I wonder if Adam remembers even sending this, or the note he wrote to describe it (which I still also own)?

I think the copy on the reverse is all that needs to be said: Chocolate Mpire rendered the Star Wars characters as the ‘engaging M&M’s brand characters’ and are ‘a distinctive addition to anyone’s collection’.

These are of course execrable, and certainly one of the very worst Star Wars items ever manufactured (yes, I include the Angry Birds Star Wars toys). I’ve got this one because I bought it for a song at clearance, and intended to gift it to Bernard. I never did, and now I’ll give it to the shop so they can do with it whatever they will. Let’s hope that includes a furnace!

Can you believe Rogue One was released seven years ago now? It’s a great film, but it had comparatively less merchandise than you would expect from a Star Wars movie. I still have the above (unopened) tissue box, which has beautiful art from the film on five of the six sides. This lives on a bookshelf, and will remain there for many years.

The above was mailed to our house by AOL in 2005, and were it not for the Star Wars connection it would have been instantly trashed like every previous AOL disc before it. But of course I kept it, and it’s so unusual and nicely printed it’ll be going back into the box to be forgotten about for another 18 years 🙂

Truth is I could probably have shown 20 or even 30 quirky items here today, and that’s even without diving into the attic vaults. God knows what forgotten treasures are stored in a random box up there? Maybe one day I’ll have a look!