Category: Movies

Bond Film Review (part 2)

  • June 30, 2020

Fewer blog posts this month due to my summer course, but here’s the second half of the long-awaited twenty-word reviews of the first twenty (plus one!) Bond films. Enjoy…

Moonraker (1979)
With amazing set pieces but ropey effects, this is better than you remember. But the pigeon reaction shot is unforgivable…
Rating: 007 out of 10

For Your Eyes Only (1981)
The Bond girl is spicy, the car chase great and it has cool gadgets but it’s a little boring overall.
Rating: 006 out of 10

Octopussy (1983)
Bond oozes cool and the locations are pretty but the villains are weak and the story loses punch too early.
Rating: 006 out of 10

Never Say Never Again (1983)
The video game is insane and the villainess memorable but this is just an inferior remake saved by Connerys charm.
Rating: 007 out of 10

A View To A Kill (1985)
Bond is (too?) old but the action is solid and the villain amongst the best. The title song is incredible!
Rating: 008 out of 10

The Living Daylights (1987)
The villains are weak but Dalton is fascinating and the trip with the girl is scenic and romantic. Very watchable.
Rating: 009 out of 10

Licence To Kill (1989)
Personal revenge evolves into mad action as once again Dalton shows how he commanded the role. A great Bond film!
Rating: 009 out of 10

Goldeneye (1995)
The Brosnan era introduced truly insane action sequences and here they mostly work. Brosnan is charm and Xenia wickedly memorable.
Rating: 008 out of 10

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
Ludicrous action can’t defeat a boring villain, terrible plot and ho-hum Bond girl. Brosnan’s charm almost saves it from forgettability.
Rating: 005 out of 10

The World Is Not Enough (1999)
There’s a lot to dislike here, but a generous viewer may find enjoyment in the visuals and – as always – Brosnan.
Rating: 006 out of 10

Die Another Day (2002)
Everything about this – including Madonna – is insane and I almost feel sorry for Brosnan. The worst ever Bond film.
Rating: 004 out of 10

Of course the Bond films don’t end here, with four Daniel Craig films already out and a fifth on the way. But are they really Bond films? Check back in a decade or so when I review the next set of ten!

  • Posted in Movies
  • Robert

Troll Pop

  • June 16, 2020

This is a troll:

They’re toys that have been around for decades and are beloved by almost everyone especially my brother. While he’s never actually said anything about them, I know he adores troll toys.

Something else he loves is the K-Pop band Red Velvet, shown here:

You can imagine how excited he must have been when he heard that these two things he loved had combined into one! Yes my friends, Red Velvet were ‘in’ the recent Trolls film:

I don’t doubt Bernard threw caution to the wind and ran to the cinema to see this film but since I loathe trolls and am ambivalent toward Red Velvet I barely gave the movie a thought. However a particular piece of licensing did catch my eye, and that was these Oreos:

Green-cream Oreos with glitter and popping candy?!? This is what it means to live in the 21st century!

So many cookies with delicious sugary cream. Don’t you just want to try one? You can even enjoy them in four different designs:

What are they like? In a word: heavenly. The slightly chemical taste of the cream is completely overridden by the astonishing experience of the poprocks and the thought that even though it’s not visible you’re eating glitter as well:

During lockdown I religiously bought a pack of these every two weeks and we wolfed them down like starving beasts. Alas they are now gone from our stores, another victim of corona. They’ll never be forgotten.

If you happen to find a pack on shelves in your area don’t hesitate to buy them. These are by a very wide margin the best Oreos ever, and highly recommended 🙂

Turn Off The Dark?

  • June 3, 2020

I think there’s a good chance we won’t go to the cinema at all this year, and if so that will probably be the first time this has happened since before I can remember.

Due to coronavirus our cinemas are closed and won’t be opening any time soon. Even were they to open there’s no movies of note being released for a few more months. And now we’re hearing that America (and the world’s) largest chain is bleeding cash and says there’s significant doubt it can remain in business.

Could the age-old experience of ‘going to the movies’ be another of the countless victims of coronavirus?

I always loved going to the cinema. Every time was an event as a child, and once I started earning my own (paper run) money a good deal of it went into seeing movies. In high school a girl I knew worked at Tower Cinemas and gave me free tickets which meant that one year (1988?) I saw almost every movie released. And then when the cinema opened in Charlestown within walking distance of our house (with a massive arcade next door!) I went and saw everything they screened that I was remotely interested in. Good times; good memories.

Kristin and I have seen countless movies at cinemas over the years, but in the last 5-10 years our frequency had notably decreased as we discovered and grew to love the drive in. Now we only go to see big ‘event’ films at cinemas – which seem to be only Star Wars or Marvel films these days.

Many films I once would have gone and seen at the cinema without hesitation now wait until we can stream them or buy on DVD (yes I still buy DVDs). It’s often more comfortable watching at home anyway: we have a massive TV, comfy recliners, cats in our laps and we don’t have to worry about the now-too-common sight of someone using a cellphone during the film!

The romance and attraction of the cinema seems to be generational as well: my students rarely go and seem quite content to watch new releases online. If cinemas close forever, maybe they’ll be missed only as much as the average person misses CDs?

Of course there’s still the drive-in, which I consider quite different from going to the cinema. Ours is open right now, but it’s showing older films that are already available streaming and the list of rules and restrictions is daunting enough that we haven’t seriously considered going. But in the months ahead if studios release some of the event films we may see them at the drive-in, assuming it remains open.

Unlike other corona effects – the lack of travel in particular – a ‘gap year’ (or two…) away from cinemas doesn’t particularly bother me. And even though I don’t wan’t cinemas to close completely, I don’t think I’ll be too bothered if they do.