Category: Movies

Turn Off The Dark?

I think there’s a good chance we won’t go to the cinema at all this year, and if so that will probably be the first time this has happened since before I can remember.

Due to coronavirus our cinemas are closed and won’t be opening any time soon. Even were they to open there’s no movies of note being released for a few more months. And now we’re hearing that America (and the world’s) largest chain is bleeding cash and says there’s significant doubt it can remain in business.

Could the age-old experience of ‘going to the movies’ be another of the countless victims of coronavirus?

I always loved going to the cinema. Every time was an event as a child, and once I started earning my own (paper run) money a good deal of it went into seeing movies. In high school a girl I knew worked at Tower Cinemas and gave me free tickets which meant that one year (1988?) I saw almost every movie released. And then when the cinema opened in Charlestown within walking distance of our house (with a massive arcade next door!) I went and saw everything they screened that I was remotely interested in. Good times; good memories.

Kristin and I have seen countless movies at cinemas over the years, but in the last 5-10 years our frequency had notably decreased as we discovered and grew to love the drive in. Now we only go to see big ‘event’ films at cinemas – which seem to be only Star Wars or Marvel films these days.

Many films I once would have gone and seen at the cinema without hesitation now wait until we can stream them or buy on DVD (yes I still buy DVDs). It’s often more comfortable watching at home anyway: we have a massive TV, comfy recliners, cats in our laps and we don’t have to worry about the now-too-common sight of someone using a cellphone during the film!

The romance and attraction of the cinema seems to be generational as well: my students rarely go and seem quite content to watch new releases online. If cinemas close forever, maybe they’ll be missed only as much as the average person misses CDs?

Of course there’s still the drive-in, which I consider quite different from going to the cinema. Ours is open right now, but it’s showing older films that are already available streaming and the list of rules and restrictions is daunting enough that we haven’t seriously considered going. But in the months ahead if studios release some of the event films we may see them at the drive-in, assuming it remains open.

Unlike other corona effects – the lack of travel in particular – a ‘gap year’ (or two…) away from cinemas doesn’t particularly bother me. And even though I don’t wan’t cinemas to close completely, I don’t think I’ll be too bothered if they do.

Bond Film Reviews (part 1)

Recently we watched the first twenty James Bond films. We watched them in order, almost one every day for a little over three weeks.

Of course we’ve seen them many, many times before (I even know some dialogue by heart) but it was fun watching them in the order they were released and seeing the connections between them.

While there’s no such thing as a bad James Bond film, some are better than others. Here’s part one of my twenty-word reviews of all twenty of them!

Dr. No (1962)
An iconic start with a good story and lovely scenic shots, but the villain is underutilized and the ending rushed.
Rating: 007 out of 10

From Russia With Love (1963)
Connery oozes confidence, the girl is charming, the gadgets are introduced and the story keeps your interest. Amongst the best.
Rating: 009 out of 10

Goldfinger (1964)
Good action scenes, elaborate sets and a memorable villain, but the girl is bland. Connery has become Bond by now.
Rating: 007 out of 10

Thunderball (1965)
Great underwater action and an iconic casino scene. Bond is fearless to the point of amused and Domino is cute.
Rating: 007 out of 10

You Only Live Twice (1967)
Casual racism notwithstanding; an enormously entertaining film. Highlights include wonderful period shots of 1960s-era Tokyo and an awesome villains lair.
Rating: 008 out of 10

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)
Lazenby shines in a film that keeps plot in focus while still delivering action and humour. The best Bond film.
Rating: 0010 out of 10

Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
‘Bond in America’ features a tired Connery in a strangely surreal story that hardly feels like Bond. Weakest so far.
Rating: 005 out of 10

Live And Let Die (1973)
A new Bond brings us a great villain, insane gadgets, more comedy, supernatural elements and the prettiest Bond girl yet!
Rating: 008 out of 10

The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)
Christopher Lee is fantastic but the film misses more than it hits and has some truly regrettable inclusions. Largely forgettable.
Rating: 006 out of 10

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
The precredit sequence is legendary and the theme song shines. Jaws, the underwater base and submarine car make this memorable.
Rating: 008 out of 10

A mostly good fifteen year run of films so far, but can the quality continue into the 1980s and 1990s? Stay tuned for part two…

Triple Force Friday

Today, as you all know, is Triple Force Friday! This means it’s the day product is in stores for not one, not two, but three upcoming Star Wars properties: the new film (The Rise of Skywalker), the TV Series (The Mandalorian) and some game no-one cares about. Naturally I hit the shops after work, giddy with excitement. What did I buy?

Target was mostly underwhelming. Yes there was a spiffy endcap, but isn’t it just the same basic design as the last two films?!? Also you can see that the shelves weren’t exactly bursting with choice, especially when you ignore (as we all should) the Funko stuff. They had a pittance of new figures like these:

As well as two lego sets, a t-shirt, some stuffed droids (?) and one or two instantly forgettable other things. Nothing grabbed me and I left empty-handed.

Barnes & Noble was my next stop and as you can see they had a nice little display. Overall it was better than Target with more variety including what looked to be a giant spoileriffic book that I didn’t open. I did learn though – from the packaging of the figures, that the new film will feature a speeder chase on a planet called ‘Pasana’, non-Tattooinian Jawas (!) and this dude:

I was mildly excited by the stuff at Barnes & Noble but not enough to buy anything, and left empty-handed.

Walmart was my next destination and the less said about what I saw there the better. Given that Walmart was hyped (by who?) as the go-to destination for TFF one would imagine they would have something. But no; it was the usual barren wasteland of no Star Wars toys. This was depressing to a fellow with money burning a hole in his pocket so to alleviate the despair before I left for the mall I picked up $20 worth of soup:

At the mall I skipped over to The Disney Store which – finally! – had a nice display. They had clothes and figures and hats and lightsabers and a few other things including these for a staggering $50 per set:

Fifty dollars for three medallions just like the ones that came free with POTF figures in 1983?!!? Who’s going to buy these??? And they had three sets! Madness I proclaimed loudly as I walked out empty-handed and beelined for the LEGO store.

Now this is what I was looking for! They even have a TFF sign! But look: just look at that Star Destroyer kit!!! So what if it’s $700 and so big that there’s literally no-one alive that would have a place in their home to display it? It’s a beauty indeed and would be so much fun to build. That the sort of lunacy one expects to see on a day about Star Wars product. Oh and they had this too:

(Yes I know the photo was taken at Target, but they had it assembled at the LEGO store and it’s truly the stuff of nightmares.)

Anyway I bought nothing at LEGO, which means on Triple Force Friday after a couple of hours going to all the usual stores I left with… nothing!

So I went and dropped over a grand on an iPhone 11 Pro Max so the trip wasn’t a total waste 🙂