Category: Music

The Tale of Mycroft and Stocking

  • June 25, 2014

Have you heard of Avalon Island? If not, then you’re missing out because a diverse group of citizens is really making it an interesting place to live.

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That’s the latest census shot. Take a close look at the front row. There are some familiar faces there! There’s a dude that looks like me, a girl that looks like KLS, and people that look like Adam, Bernard and Florence. Very weird place, Avalon is. You’ll also note a diverse range of other citizens including Einstein, David Bowie, Ali G and even Admiral Ackbar. What an island!!

The islanders have many talents, and I’m particularly interested in their musical abilities. It didn’t take long for instance for Florry and Severus Snape (who must have moved here from Hogwarts) to form a band and start recording techno music. I present the first single by ‘Dark Artists’ named Operation Robodachi:

Now that’s talent! And not only can Florry sing, but she’s also a yoga savant!

But let’s get to the matter at hand, which is a chronologue of a recent ultra-dramatic event that occured on Avalon.

Meet Stocking (of Panty & Stocking fame), here shown in one of her daily jobs as a newsreader:

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Cute isn’t she? Anyway she came to me and said she had a mad crush on Mycroft (the guy that looks like Adam). I was not surprised by this, since I had already seen the latest poll of all the girls on the island:

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Woah, there’s something about those top three guys that just get the female hearts fluttering! I wonder what it could be?

Anyway, I told Stocking to go for it. “Be cute”, I said, “and confess to Mycroft on the beach!”. And she did…

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He was silent for a moment… and then he said…

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OMG!!! He spurned her! Or, in her own words:

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Poor stocking.

So what happened? Why was such a cute girl rejected by the islands most eligible bachelor? Well the answer is quite simply really. Mycroft has no time for love, since he has sold his soul to rock-and-roll. Behold, the debut single of the new Avalon metal trio The Three Kings:

OMG what talent! Could pop princess Florry have competition for the Avalon charts? And what does she think of the Mycroft x Stocking drama? When asked, her only response was:

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A Life In Lists #2: Songs

  • February 28, 2014

It’s time for list two!

As with the previous, this is of course subjective. And as with the previous, I’m sure you’ll all agree because it’s not as if we’ve got strong opinions about our music! 😉

Now there are a few more rules this time around, but the foremost one – before you start reading – is that this is a list of favourite singles. The criteria are described afterward…

My favourite singles of the last 42 years

1972 – Rocket Man (Elton John)  {Possibly the best single of all time.}
1973 – Life On Mars (David Bowie)
1974 – Waterloo (Abba)
1975 – Autobahn (Kraftwerk)
1976 – Dancing Queen (Abba)

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1977 – Sound and Vision (David Bowie)
1978 – YMCA (The Village People)
1979 – Cars (Gary Numan)
1980 – Keep On Loving You (REO Speedwagon)
1981 – Vienna (Ultravox)
1982 – Don’t Change (INXS)
1983 – Total Eclipse Of The Heart (Bonnie Tyler)

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1984 – Forever Young (Alphaville)  {My favourite song of all time}
1985 – Take On Me (A-ha)
1986 – Love Missile F1-11 (Sigue Sigue Sputnik)
1987 – Never Let Me Down Again (Depeche Mode)
1988 – A Little Respect (Erasure)
1989 – Free Fallin’ (Tom Petty)

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1990 – Enjoy The Silence (Depeche Mode)
1991 – You Could Be Mine (Guns N’ Roses)
1992 – November Rain (Guns N’ Roses)
1993 – Everybody Hurts (REM)
1994 – Circle Of Life (Elton John)
1995 – Missing (Everything But The Girl)
1996 – It’s All Coming Back To Me Now (Celine Dion)
1997 – Candle In The Wind (1997) (Elton John) {Powerful}
1998 – My Heart Will Go On (Celine Dion)

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1999 – Praise You (Fatboy Slim)
2000 – Oop’s I Did It Again (Britney Spears)
2001 – I Feel Loved (Depeche Mode)
2002 – n/a
2003 – Solsbury Hill (Erasure)
2004 – Amerika (Rammstein)
2005 – Don’t Let The Man Get You Down (Fatboy Slim)  {The video}

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2006 – In The Future When All’s Well (Morrissey)
2007 – n/a
2008 – All You Need Is Me (Morrissey)
2009 – Wrong (Depeche Mode)
2010 – Firework (Katy Perry)

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2011 – When I Start To Break It All Down (Erasure)
2012 – She Wolf (Falling To Pieces) (David Guetta featuring Sia)
2013 – n/a
2014 – ?

Songs were eligible if they charted (top 100) in either Australia, England or the USA during the year listed.

Compared to the list of movies, this was really, really difficult!

If 1973 was incredibly hard (due to Drive-In Saturday, 20th Century Boy, You’re So Vain and Ballroom Blitz) then the late 70s and early 80s were all but impossible! Given that a choice like Keep On Loving You vs Xanadu vs Enola Gay (all in 1980) gave me a cold sweat, the unfairness of 50 amazing songs in 1984 (from which I had to choose one) caused me to weep openly.

By contrast the 2000’s were a wasteland for someone like myself that isn’t a fan of rap or hip-hop. Happily both Erasure and Morrissey rose to new heights that decade, releasing great album after great album, and having many successful singles. That said, and as you can see, there were entire years where I couldn’t even pick one charting song I considered outstanding (or in some cases even good).

The list is quite a genre timeline isn’t it? Glam became disco became new wave became the anthems of the 90s became… well the flotsam of the 2000’s! It’s easy to imagine that ‘good’ music ended 15 years ago but I think this is more a symptom of me growing old and the unusual effect digital music has had on the release of ‘singles’. I believe it is certainly true that compared to the 1980s and 1990s, ‘singles’ no longer have the widespread appeal they once did.

So what do you think? Any pieces of trash on this list? What perfect songs did I miss?