Category: Otaku

Triple Force Friday

Today, as you all know, is Triple Force Friday! This means it’s the day product is in stores for not one, not two, but three upcoming Star Wars properties: the new film (The Rise of Skywalker), the TV Series (The Mandalorian) and some game no-one cares about. Naturally I hit the shops after work, giddy with excitement. What did I buy?

Target was mostly underwhelming. Yes there was a spiffy endcap, but isn’t it just the same basic design as the last two films?!? Also you can see that the shelves weren’t exactly bursting with choice, especially when you ignore (as we all should) the Funko stuff. They had a pittance of new figures like these:

As well as two lego sets, a t-shirt, some stuffed droids (?) and one or two instantly forgettable other things. Nothing grabbed me and I left empty-handed.

Barnes & Noble was my next stop and as you can see they had a nice little display. Overall it was better than Target with more variety including what looked to be a giant spoileriffic book that I didn’t open. I did learn though – from the packaging of the figures, that the new film will feature a speeder chase on a planet called ‘Pasana’, non-Tattooinian Jawas (!) and this dude:

I was mildly excited by the stuff at Barnes & Noble but not enough to buy anything, and left empty-handed.

Walmart was my next destination and the less said about what I saw there the better. Given that Walmart was hyped (by who?) as the go-to destination for TFF one would imagine they would have something. But no; it was the usual barren wasteland of no Star Wars toys. This was depressing to a fellow with money burning a hole in his pocket so to alleviate the despair before I left for the mall I picked up $20 worth of soup:

At the mall I skipped over to The Disney Store which – finally! – had a nice display. They had clothes and figures and hats and lightsabers and a few other things including these for a staggering $50 per set:

Fifty dollars for three medallions just like the ones that came free with POTF figures in 1983?!!? Who’s going to buy these??? And they had three sets! Madness I proclaimed loudly as I walked out empty-handed and beelined for the LEGO store.

Now this is what I was looking for! They even have a TFF sign! But look: just look at that Star Destroyer kit!!! So what if it’s $700 and so big that there’s literally no-one alive that would have a place in their home to display it? It’s a beauty indeed and would be so much fun to build. That the sort of lunacy one expects to see on a day about Star Wars product. Oh and they had this too:

(Yes I know the photo was taken at Target, but they had it assembled at the LEGO store and it’s truly the stuff of nightmares.)

Anyway I bought nothing at LEGO, which means on Triple Force Friday after a couple of hours going to all the usual stores I left with… nothing!

So I went and dropped over a grand on an iPhone 11 Pro Max so the trip wasn’t a total waste 🙂

Q

Five years ago I had a surreal experience at New York Comic Con. I hinted about it on the day, but I think it’s finally time to recount the strange tale.

The tale of the day I met Q.

That’s Q, the near-omniscient all-powerful extra-dimensional being from Star Trek. He is played with appropriate bombast by the actor John de Lancie and I, for one, have always considered him absurd.

Florence loves Star Trek. I think she’s mostly a TNG fan and of course, as such, she’s a fan of Q. I’ll be bold enough to suppose he’s not her favorite by any stretch, probably not even top five, and possibly not even above Chief O’Brien. Regardless though she’s a Q fan, and therefore since John de Lancie was making an appearance at NYCC 2014 I took it upon myself to get her his autograph as a birthday gift!

So on a certain day a little under five years ago today I joined a line for de Lancies signature. Many Star Trek luminaries were signing that day, and I don’t remember why I lined up for Q over (for instance) Riker, but I do recall the original goal – Patrick Stewart’s autograph – had unfortunately failed due to a cancellation.

I stood silently in line alone while KLS camped out somewhere else guarding the loot we’d collected that day. All the lines were tightly packed together and I was surrounded by, let’s say, intense fans. Not of my caliber of course, and certainly less charming; the sort that endlessly blathered about their trivial knowledge of Trek and other topics. I tried to close my ears but failed.

It was an experience.

What I recall:
– One guy had a comic with three Trek characters on the cover. I believe they were Kirk, McCoy and Data (for some reason). He already had Shatner and was in line for Brent Spiner’s auto. He was boasting about getting them all and his friend informed him (how didn’t he already know?) that DeForest Kelly was long dead. The guy was undeterred though and simply said he’d forge the Kelly autograph!
– Another chap had a giant poster with loads of cast members on it and most of them had already been signed. Clearly he’d taken this thing to many conventions and was close to getting every signature. Someone asked him what he would do with it when he finished and he said he was going to print duplicates and sell them!
– A third person was strangely focused on LeVar Burtons singing (or musical) talents and even eventually spoke with him about it as he was getting his autograph. Burton was humble, but I got the distinct feeling the fan had confused him for someone else…

There was more weirdness but time dulls the memory. It was an excruciating wait for de Lancie to arrive. Eventually he did.

de Lancie’s line wasn’t the longest but there were several ahead of me and some behind. While waiting I had become aware of the fact that I seemed to be the only one there for Q’s autograph and the rest of the line was there since he was at the time voicing one of the Little Ponies! Indeed, of the photos he was selling most of them were ponies and only two were Q! I watched those ahead of me talk pony with him, or rather at him since although he was sitting right there it seemed he was elsewhere. I watched him look straight at a young girl and apparently talk to her before I (and she?) realized he was actually speaking to his assistant behind him. It was strange. Then it was my turn.

Now I forget exactly what I said to him, but it was mostly a total lie. I spun some eloquent and moving tale about my BFF Florence who ‘always wanted to meet him’ and loved Q since ‘he was funny but mischievous and had a heart of gold’. There’s a nonzero chance I said she read the Q novels, and I may have even told him that she thought that utterly alien Q was ‘the most human’ of the TNG characters, in no small part due to his wonderful portrayal.

He ate it up, looking me right in the eye, nodding knowingly once or twice. Through my words I was sure he felt the love of his distant fan Florence. How would he reply?

“And what is it”, he said, “that you do?”

And that was that. In one simple question he utterly dismissed the reason I was there. He didn’t care at all about Florence, and demonstrated not the slightest of hints that he had listened to anything I had said.

Money was exchanged. A photograph was signed. No personal photos taken (they cost extra) and I was done. Q who?

And that was that! It was weird and surreal and irritating and funny. Five years later I still vividly remember the experience and I’ve always wondered was it just me or is he always like that?

The upside was I got an autograph for Florence, but I don’t remember what he wrote or even if he personalized it. Regardless now she knows the whole story maybe it’ll bring a smile the next time she looks at it: the day I thought I was ‘meeting’ John de Lancie, but walked off feeling more like I’d – albeit briefly – actually met Q.

Supreme Leader Snoke

The ‘big bad’ in the last two Star Wars films was this guy, Supreme Leader Snoke:

He remains a mysterious and somewhat controversial figure, and everyone has a theory about him. I wonder with The Emperors (apparent) return in The Rise Of Skywalker later this year if some of our outstanding Snoke questions will be answered?

I doubt it.

At any rate, recently I found this in the clearance aisle for $2 and couldn’t say no:

Apparently this wasn’t the first time I took a liking to this figure since when I got home I saw it on my shelf! I’d bought it again, albeit for an 85% discount. So – and considering it had been years since I had done so – I decided to (shudder) open this one!

Look at that lovely gold cloth robe! Look at the detail on the sculpt down to the obsidian ring on his left hand (although the scale of which unfortunately doesn’t allow for a legible sculpt of the Dwartii tunes inscribed on the band). Overall, at first impression, a good figure.

However – and this is a big disappointment – it can’t stand. The feet are just too small and the center of balance too high enough for him to stand. This is perhaps why he’s almost always sitting in the films?

Anyway let’s see what’s under that cloak:

Not much about Snoke has been officially revealed (or likely even established) but apparently his gold robe was inspired – at the design level – by Hugh Hefner! His name is also an obvious derivation from the fact that initially he had serpentine features. But in the end he’s an old disfigured alien wearing a flashy bathrobe and slippers.

As a figure he’s incredible poseable:

And with no small amount of effort and the cloak removed, I even got him standing:

Sadly an idle breath in his direction knocked him down.

His cloak was returned, and he’ll now forever live in a box. Unless you want him, in which case please say so in the comments.

As a Star Wars character it’s unsurprising that even such a minor (albeit important) character as Snoke has seen many different figures:

Even if we’ll never actually know who he really was, at least there’s a toy of him to please every type of fan 🙂