Archive for the ‘Otaku’ Category

The Worst AD&D Magic Item Of All Time

Wednesday, March 21st, 2012

Ask anyone on the street what they think the worst ever AD&D magic item is and you’ll likely get a grab bag of answers that may include ‘the usual suspects’ such as Pearly White Ioun Stones, Girdles of Masculinity or even the Apparatus of Kwalish.

These are all well and good, and I concede borderline useless in all but the most specific of campaign. But, Good Readers, I believe I have found a magic item that is much, much worse:

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Yes my friend, that is a real item, so described on page 98 of Unearthed Arcana, written by The Creator himself (Mr Gygax). One can only imagine he had descended into an absinthe-fueled Tarzanic fever dream before he decided this would be a useful addition to the game.

And yet, aside from the uncontrollable giggles I was rewarded with when first reading the description, I was later overwhelmed with a second round of giggles when I imagined – back in 1985 – the joy I may have had when MT, MMN and MS finally killed some powerful foe only for me to announce: “You search the room and find some bracers of brachiation!

So maybe Sir Gygax was trolling us all along? πŸ™‚

3 Rounds of Bard’s Tale Combat

Tuesday, March 6th, 2012

Recently the iOS version of the Bard’s Tale action RPG that came out for XBox a few years back has been updated to include the original games! I eagerly downloaded Bard’s Tale and started playing on the iPad.

I rolled my party, exited the guild, went into the house next door (2 steps from the guild), and this happened…

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I chose to fight. Here’s the result after one round:

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After two rounds:

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And after a third round:

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Can anyone guess the character classes based on the names I gave them and the relative position in the party?

No Comment

Monday, March 5th, 2012

Yes this is real:

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They team up to defeat a Borg/Cyberman alliance.

Who allowed this?

Five Gifts

Sunday, March 4th, 2012

I received a great many gifts for my birthday. Too many! Here’s five of them, from five different people.

From JAF I received this stunning Lego kit (reviewed as one of the best Technic kits ever made):

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From SFL I received a very clever Star Wars t-shirt (can you get the joke?):

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From myself I received Heuvelman’s legendary opus from 1965 on sea monsters:

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From JBF I received a Kuroneko Figma:

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And from KLS I received an unopened box of trading cards. Note the warning on the bottom:

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I’ll update to include BFS’s gift when it arrives πŸ˜‰

Here’s What My Brother Is (Not!) Getting Me For My Birthday

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

Every day, when I hear Mr Postman deliver, I eagerly trot down to the box to remove what surely must be arriving any day now: a birthday parcel from my brother.

Alas, I am every time disappointed; the fated package is yet to arrive.

Since my brother is the world’s very worst answerer-of-FaceTime calls, I’m going to use this entry to send a tiny nugget of information. I am assuming Bernard, that you’re birthday shopping for me is completed. As such, I can only imagine that you must have purchased for me the following item:

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As a Star Wars fan yourself, I have no doubt that Colonel Cracken is as beloved a character to you as he is me. Who can forget the battle against the Imperial Fleet in Jedi, when Lando and Nien Numb courageously flew the Millenium Falcon into the incomplete second Death Star to destroy it? True fans such as you and me surely know that success was in no small part due to the valiance of Airen Cracken, who was a crew member on that flight. As such, I have no doubt that the (long overdue!) action figure of the man himself shot to the very top of the list of items you surely wanted to give me to celebrate my birthday.

Alas, it is with a heavy heart that I must say that you’re going to have to return the one you bought, since I myself purchase this very figure today! It even now rests on my desk in a place of great pride.

And next time answer FaceTime when I call, so we can avoid these mixups in the future πŸ˜‰