Category: Otaku

Review: Jon Pertwee Book Of Monsters

April 4, 2013

Now this is a disappointment. As everyone knows and agrees, Jon Pertwee’s version of the doctor was the best ever in all fifty years of Doctor Who. One may suppose therefore that the literary output of such a great man would be without reproach. Sadly, that’s not the case.

This, my dear readers, is a book for babies. Containing piffle such as stories about dragons hatching from eggs and befriending children, or man-eating fungus houses, or amorphous blob-creatures that rampage out of lakes and devour dozens of people, there’s nothing very… well now I think about it most of the stories in this book actually are quite monstrous!

But the way they are told leaves a lot to be desired. Many of them I suspect were written in minutes, and even as I read them I supposed I may have been able to do better myself. Let me try:

At last the fated hour had arrived. Kron-pirr viewed the battlefield from atop his Daedalus platform, watching the Void Gigas units assemble their time cannons. At his signal they would fire at the city, breaching the etheric defenses and opening the way for the final invasion. Victory was by no means certain, and the losses would be great. But if the Machine Brain was ever to be defeated, it must be here, and it must be now. Once more Kron-Pirr remembered the events that had led him here: the discovery of the artifact (back when he wasn’t even elevated), the human invasion in which Glork’fth was killed, the accidental reactivation and ultimately apotheosis of the dreaded alien technology. Kron-pirr had indirectly caused the machine revolution, and if his planet had any chance to survive, he must now end it. He noted the Gigases had completed their task, and the troops were ready for his signal. He raised his tentacle…

Hey, that’s not really anything to do with Monsters is it? It’s almost as if the saga of Kron-pirr has taken over these reviews!

At any rate, this book is hardly worth the Pertwee name. My advice: save your gold sovereigns.

Return of ‘The Claw’

March 24, 2013

This past week, these were released:

Naturally, I got them both on release day. They are the exact same game, and the save file can even be wirelessly transferred between them. You can play online on the Wii U, or on-the-go on the 3DS.

I had completed most of my work obligations early during my break so I could devote ample time to Monster Hunter. And devote I did! Right now, 5 days later, my save file is just over 37 hours 🙂

It’s the best Monster Hunter yet made!

I’ve been hunting Wroggi’s and Lagombi’s, Rathalos and Duramboros, Volvidon and Azuros. I’ve been mining and bugging and crafting and swimming. 99% of my quests have been completed using only the hammer weapon type, but since there are 9 others its probably time to increase my repertoire.

After all this I feel like I have barely begun to scratch the surface of the game. For instance, there are over 1000 weapons in the game (and I have 5…) and much more armor. I’m only just in the middle of three difficulties, and have probably beaten 10% of the quests in the game. I’ll be playing this one for a long time!

And, as the topic suggests, ‘the claw’ has returned. Although the 3DS is easier to hold than the PSP was, I’m finding with such intense playing that the sublime and extraordinary pain that comes with holding your hand in the same pose for long periods has returned in force.

It’s as if my hands are evolving to be better suited for playing Monster Hunter.

Tanked

March 18, 2013

I wanted to remember what it was like to build a (non Gundam) model kit, so recently bought myself this:

Here’s what was inside:

Given I had built only Gundams for the last 2 decades, my first thought was “Do I still need glue?”. The answer was yes!

There’s the chassis with wheels attached. I’d done a poor job, since the glue I’d bought was crap and the instructions left a lot to be desired. For instance, should the wheels turn?

It wasn’t until I got to the next section that things became much more difficult…

Those ladder rungs, glued on so obviously poorly in the above shot, were typical of many pieces that required pinpoint precision to attach accurately. Again, the instructions could have been clearer. Again, my glue could have actually worked!

Case in point above: see how the wheel is separating even though the glue had been drying for two hours!! (This was exacerbated by the too-much tension in the tread.)

Anyway after considerable frustration, the near-finished product:

And the actually finished version, after the exercise in frustration that was decal application (turned into a comedy of errors since I had a phone chat with SFL after putting the decal sheet in water!):

Actually looks decent, doesn’t it?

So where is this fierce scale model tank right now? Moments after the above shot was made… I broke it and tossed the pieces in the garbage 🙂

Robot Claw