Archive for the ‘Pets’ Category

The Wish

Tuesday, March 29th, 2011

Imagine if magic was real, and by some awesome circumstance I was granted a single wish. Suppose, for that wish, I decided upon the following:

“I would like to be transported back in time to Blackpool, England in early May 1977, with only the means to live comfortably from that point onwards for the rest of my life.”

I imagine, at first, it may be a bit strange. No cellphones, no internet. No-one I knew. I’d have money, a nice house in which to live, and health. I’d take a week or so to get used to England in the late 1970s. I’d eat a lot of fish and chips. I buy a cat and name her Amy Pond.

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It would be early summer, the start of the tourist season. A few weeks after I ‘arrive’ Star Wars opens in theatres. I’d be there on opening day. I’d buy a ‘May The Force Be With You’ t-shirt and wear it to meetings of the Doctor Who appreciation society. I’d reveal at one of these that I have an ‘inside contact’ at the BBC, and the first new show of the upcoming season 17 would be called Horror Of Fang Rock. They’d be amazed.

Winter would come. I’d stay home mostly, watching Tomorrow People, but occasionally scuttling through the frigid weather to play the brand new game AD&D with friends. Every now and then I’d go to the movies as well. I expect Close Encounters of The Third Kind to be good, but find myself enjoying The Spy Who Loved Me even more.

A year has passed and I’m heading back to Blackpool on the train from Birmingham. I’d arrived early and caught the opening day screening of Superman at the Electric on Station Street. It was strangely better than when I’d seen it 34 years earlier. I spent the afternoon in a quiet stroll, wondering should I start following the soccer, before a light dinner at the Rum Runner club, listing to their resident band, Duran Duran. The singer – Steven Duffy – is ok, but I reminded myself to return in a couple of years and check up on them. The train is slow in getting me home and I miss the first episode of the new BBC1 show Blake’s 7. It’s a good thing I’d seen it before, since I already know it’s not going to be repeated for a very long time…

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Later in the year winter returns to England. The Blackpool Illuminations are still on, and I religiously walk the golden mile almost every day. There have been mutterings in the newspapers, and what I have been looking for finally arrives. My first game of Space Invaders in 34 years – my first videogame in almost 18 months – is like heaven. At this point I feel that once again I have entered the golden age.

In 1979 I enroll in Cambridge, essentially buying my position with no regard for the tutelage just so I can be on site to witness the filming of an upcoming Doctor Who episode called Shada. It is a bittersweet moment. I spend much of my time on the golden mile, working in the arcade I now run. My insistence to have every arcade cabinet available makes the place a bit of a money sink, but I don’t care. Even though I’m running out of money I have a feeling I can turn things around in the near future. Late in the season a struggling band – Adam & The Ants – plays a local club to a small crowd. They are supporting an upcoming album, and they have the spark of greatness. ‘This boy”, I know, “will go far.”

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Everyone’s excited in 1980. I’m nostalgic. The Empire Strikes Back becomes everyone’s favourite film ever made, but I’m almost too busy becoming the best Tempest player in Blackpool to notice. I can feel the wave of history approaching me quickly though and dive right in when I buy my first home computer – an Apple II GS – and a copy of the new game Ultima. I had to drive down to London to do this (in my new Aston Martin v8 Vantage) and of course I stop off at a pub in Canning to see a young band – Depeche Mode – play a motley set of new wave and Bowie covers. They are, perhaps, the best they’ll ever be.

The II GS is a promising product, but when Apple goes public late in 1980 I hold back. I have feeling now’s not the best time, and instead sink a few thousand pounds into IBM.

Shortly after my 42nd birthday (in 1981) Tom Baker hands the reigns over to that young vet. There’s no turning back from the 1980s now. MTV has started in America, Raiders Of The Lost Ark is in the cinema and NASA just launched the first space shuttle. My arcade is pulling in the cash, and I convert the upstairs to a ‘computer game’ shop. Vic-20s and (even still) 2600s are flying out the door, and I feel almost bad selling them since I know by next year they’ll be almost obsolete. But then life’s going to be like that almost forever now. Charles marries Diana and it seems so sad to me. I stay up late playing side two of my new vinyl Speak And Spell album whilst enjoying the new Wizardry game on my Apple. Amy Pond is older and fat, and likes sitting in the shop window and watching the trams go by…

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I’m not interested in selling books, but make an exception – in 1982 – for a new publication called The Warlock Of Firetop Mountain. I can barely keep them in. My shop is so successful selling gamebooks, ZX Spectrums and C64s that I have to hire a bunch of kids just so I can find the time to whittle my life away playing Robotron in the arcade downstairs. All the kids are wearing Yoda t-shirts and eating Chicken McNuggets.ย  When I see The Birthday Party performing live in London Nick Cave is so strung out I can barely believe he’s got a long and successful career ahead of him. On my shelf – next to a dozen or so plastic-cape Jawa figures – is the first Game And Watch sold in Britain.

I must keep my eye on events in Japan.

And so turns the gears of the early 1980s.ย  Depeche Mode, Erasure and Alphaville (who I see live in 1985 in London). I now write columns (under pseudonyms of course) for Crash and Warlock magazines. My arcade is the biggest in England (possibly even the world?) and a major attraction on the golden mile. The game store above is now two stories, with video games (including the hottest of them all: the NES) in one and role-playing games in the other. Although my store runs the biggest Warhammer games in England I am rarely there. My time is spent on a grand tour around Europe in my Rolls Royce Silver Spur, making sure to catch a Kraftwerk show in Germany and A-Ha up in Norway. I’m back in England full-time in 1985, and am in the front row of the ‘last’ gig by The Sisters Of Mercy before the band split. The feeling of nostalgia is almost overwhelming.

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In 1986 Challenger explodes, Chernobyl melts down, Black Celebration is on my record player and an imported copy of Final Fantasy is in my Famicom. I even had to import a Japanese TV to play it. My thoughts drift more to Japan around this time, and I think fondly of Tokyo. In 1987 the first cracks appear in the Berlin wall (naturally I am there to see Reagan speak), Sylvestor McCoy makes his first appearance as The Doctor and the tanking of cassette-game prices means my video game shop sees a slight downturn as customers decide whether or not to switch over to the NES. I buy my first compact disc later that year – Music For The Masses – and when I first play it the feeling of deja-vu is acute.

In 1988 I put the arcade up for sale. Many of the older games have now been moved – permanently – to my estate and redemption games have taken Blackpool by storm. My heart is no longer in them, and in fact is moving away from England itself. Zzap 64 is still publishing, but with the demise of the C64 it’s hardly the same magazine. I now have several Japanese televisions and have begun to import anime and (many) games. I’m learning Japanese as well. I spend the morning of my 50th birthday burying Amy Pond (who died in my arms) and the evening in Oxford as the oldest man in the audience of a Fields Of The Nephilim concert. Later in the year the Internet stops being a closed network. I can feel the world changing.

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1988 slides into 1989. My businesses sell. I shutter the estate, selling the Rolls and Aston Martin but locking up the Sinclair C5. I’m a very wealthy man by now, but my fortune reaches new heights when I sell all my IBM stock and buy some (what I know to be) future-proof shares in the ailing Apple corporation. I board my private jet on a one-way trip to the next phase of my life to be spent living in Tokyo, Japan. On the flight, as I play my brand new imported Game Boy, I spend the time thinking about my younger self, half a world away, about to graduate from high school. I’ve avoided him all these years, but make a note that when I land to anonymously send him a pineapple in a box.

“That should keep him guessing”, I think with a smile.

Game Crazy

Tuesday, March 8th, 2011

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Last Friday we visited the International Center for the History of Electronic Games at the Strong Museum of Play in Rochester, NY. This is a new section of the museum devoted to video and electronic gaming. It opened last November and I first heard of it only a couple of weeks ago. The website promised a comprehensive collection and I was not to be disappointed.

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There it is – the first ‘console game’. The brown box is one of the Odyssey prototypes invented by Ralph Baer in the late 1960s. This simple device started it all, and we were able to play it last Friday.

The collection is divided into a few sections, the most dramatic of which is the arcade:

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These are all originals in their original cabinets with mostly original screens, controllers and circuitry. I spoke with an attendant and he told me many of them had such things as new power supplies or coin slot systems, but of the 25 or so games on display (from a collection of nearly 200) the emphasis was on those games that were as close as possible to how they were in the 1980s.

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I’d played them all of course, aeons ago, and it was like stepping back in time being able to do so again (at the mere cost of $0.16 per game!). I was particularly amazed by the working Asteroids, Star Wars and Lunar Lander since all three use vector displays, which are notoriously prone to failure.

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We spent quite a bit of time at the arcade burning through 30 tokens (1 per game), but it turns out the true star of this collection was not the old games, but was the simply astounding collection of game history on display in the many cases. Such as:

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Bet you’ve never seen one of them before? What about this one:

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Note how the games are built in-to the unit (which was released in 1972). Of course slightly more modern game systems were represented as well:

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And not just consoles:

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This was all well and good (very good actually). But the collection truly lives up to its mandate of electronic gaming (as opposed to TV or console gaming). Which means, well all sorts of electronic games. Think LCD, VFD and everything between. It was in viewing many of these objects that my mind was truly blown:

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Note the original boxes for many of the items.

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“If only”, did I think many times, “could that be mine.”

Many of the displays were themed (educational games, sports games, simulation games etc.) and in the role-playing game section (which spanned from the board game Dark Tower [which we own by the way] to World Of Warcraft) was this pair on display:

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The most important books every written perhaps? ๐Ÿ™‚

The articles on display were only a tiny fragment of the entire collection, but I was very impressed with the choices which ranged from obscure to common, from American to English to Japanese. As I told the attendant, up until last Friday I may have supposed my own personal collection was the only one in America to contain both a Wonder Swan and a Wonder Swan Color:

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And it got more obscure than this. How about the FM Towns version of one of the Japanese-only Dungeon Master sequels? Yes, that was on display ๐Ÿ™‚

Needless to say, this now-permanent exhibit is highly recommended to anyone with even a passing interest in the history of electronic gaming. I feel privileged that it is so close to my house, and given that the curators plan to improve both the content and size of the display I have no doubt I shall return one day to be amazed all over again.

Strong museum is also home to many other collections of toy and gaming-related material, many of which are on display. Here are a few random shots of some of what we saw:

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Yes my friends, that is a collection of Star Trek themed Yo-Yo’s. They actually had many more on show, including much of the cast of Deep Space Nine

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The above is unquestionably the cutest Jack-in-the-Box in the history of human civilization. It even has the word Love written on it!

And this last shot…? It almost defies description, so I shall just label it with the proper name. The following shot depicts a squirrel whimsy.

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Fish Wizard

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

There are few corners of this planet over which I hold no influence, but ironically one of those is the biggest corner of them all.

The Big Blue. The Great Green. The Endless Ocean.

It has always been a frustration of mine, but finally I have a remedy! I present… (drumroll)… this:

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Yes indeed my good friends, for the first time in รฆons I once again sport a watch. But not just any watch, for this is the legendary Fish Master 5000.

Let’s get the basics out of the way quickly: stopwatch, countdown timer, thermometer, alarms, world times and phases and age of the moon. Simple stuff. Oh, and it tells time as well.

But this watch takes timekeeping into a hitherto unexplored dimension in that it gives the wizard that wears it (that would be me): supernatural knowledge of fishes!

Let’s take a closer look at the face:

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Look just above the time, just below the center. See those fishes? Well the watch keeps track over a countless amount of incomprehensible (to humans) “fish variables” and distills the necessary information into a four point scale. It then displays the output as a number of fishes on the face of the watch. In the above image, what I shall call ‘fish power‘ is currently at 50%

This fish power is dependent on the location of the wizard wearing the watch, and this can be set by changing the longitude. It is also influenced by the time and age of the moon, as well as (no doubt) other mysteries that (those arch-wizards at) Casio are unprepared to reveal. All this magic in such a tiny package! Steve Jobs would be proud ๐Ÿ™‚

The effect of having this device on one’s wrist is to make the world of fish no longer impenetrable to the wearer. As soon as I put on this watch it was as if my eyes had just opened, and I immediately knew everything about fishes.

For instance, a quick glance at my Fisher King 9000 tells me at this very moment, were I in the vicinity of Addis Ababa, I may be heading to the nearest lake with a fishing rod in my hand.

No longer – I could finally say – could any fish hide from me. Never again would I fail to know where (or when) all fish are, anywhere on this great planet of ours. At first, like a child, I reveled in this newfound power. I would swagger around the house bellowing such comments as “Try hiding from me now you scaly little bastards!”, or “I am the God of all fishes!”. But after some time a strange calmness began to descend upon me. I became reflective,ย  and began to realize that what this device had given me was not dominion, but invitation.

Perhaps – I came to see – my destiny was not to rule the fish. Perhaps my destiny was to join them. At last – I ultimately realized – my world and theirs has finally intersected. At last I have become one with the fishes. Truly I am now a brother to every fish. Into their scaley little hearts I have been welcomed, and all because of the power of this magical device.

For the Fish-a-Tron X-9 is so much more than a timepiece: it is a ticket to a fuller existence – a land where the barrier between man and fish has broken. Where the endless depths of the ocean are no longer a mystery, more a promise.

And where the ancient silent song from sunken R’lyeh has never been clearer…

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Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

The Impossible Dream

Wednesday, January 19th, 2011

It started in Sydney, when my departing plane was delayed by two and a half hours due to a ‘malfunction’ (never fully explained to us). Boo to United for poorly informing us, since at one point (on the board) the flight was described as ‘cancelled’.

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That’s how I feel right now, +1 day after finally getting back here, jet-lagged and very tired. I just finished the most essential class-related work, and am going to go rest soon.

Upon our late arrival in Los Angeles the plane departing for Chicago was delayed as well (due to ice in Chicago). This meant I was able to make the connection, although even then it was known the Albany one had no chance.

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I think that goat will remember me for ever. “Never”, did he think, “did I think a human would ever pick me up!”. And for that simple act he came to love me ๐Ÿ™‚

United put me in a hotel in Chicago. A spiffy one, better than anything I’d probably pay for myself. And yet it was lost on me for I had no clean clothes and simply washed what I had in the shower and went straight to bed. Only I didn’t sleep, just playing DS all through the night and drying my clothes with the hair dryer.

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Even now, +3 days from leaving Oz, do I recall the delicious taste of grilled – always fresh, not frozen – chicken sandwiches. Many things change in life, but that memory will remain always.

The flight from Chicago the next day was similarly delayed. As it turns out our first plane broke, and we had to wait over 3 hours for a replacement. Then we were detained further still. I spent almost 5 hours seated on planes just yesterday, and only 80 minutes of that was actually in the air. When I finally got home to Albany, I almost thanked God.

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I must make a correction – I inaccurately described these guys as Rosella numerous times on this blog. They are in fact a different type of Parrot – a Rainbow Lorikeet. I originally described them as both in the video, thinking the two names were synonymous but they are in fact different birds (google Rosella to see how equally beautiful they are). At any rate check out this guys plumage.

If any bird described to be called Rainbow surely this is the one ๐Ÿ™‚


Long Walk

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

Finally I walked the entire Fernleigh track from Adamstown to Jewells! It was long and hot but I managed to finish the ~20 km trip (including from my parents place to the start of the track) in a little over 3 hours.

A couple of notables I saw on the trip:

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This walk, which diverts from the track just beyond Burwood Road near Kahibah, leads all the way to Sydney! Although I love walking, I’m not one for multi-day hikes. That said, I’d love to walk to Sydney from Newcastle!

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If you’re looking for spiders, walk Fernleigh. I must have seen about eight-hundred zillion this morning and this guy is a nice example. He’s a Saint Andrew’s Cross spider, and measured about 6 cm in length. I saw some spectacularly big webs this morning as well, spanning the entire width of the path (ie. meters). I can only imagine the size of the orb weavers who created them (in one night!)

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This was an ironic find. Many, many years ago I was walking (with a few friends of mine) on the old rail line that has now been turned into the Fernleigh Track. We came across a tiny old shack that contained a single chair and a wooden box. In the box was a collection of very old – but well preserved – magazines (I can remember some Playboys, Family Circles and some train magazines) and some unopened – and also very old – tinned vegetables. It was a bit creepy because we wondered who put it there and why, and also how long it had been there, presumably forgotten. So we just put it all back and left.

Cut forward ~20 years and imagine my surprise when I found the shack again on the track about five minutes north of Whitebridge! As you can see it was very overgrown, so I didn’t explore. But it certainly brought back memories of that strange find many years ago.

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Dad was to meet me in Redhead for the final leg of the walk to Jewells. I got there early though so strolled down to the beach. It was very, VERY hot (easily over 30, with no breeze) and I couldn’t believe the amount of people out sunbathing. It was all I could do to stand out in the sun just to take a few photos.

Also near Redhead I found this on the track:

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Oh the memories! That’s a used firework, probably brought home illegally by someone who holidayed in another state. I could (and one day, will) do an entire entry on the fun Bernard and I had with fireworks in our youths. Before they were banned in our state ๐Ÿ™‚

I had seen and heard countless birds along the way, including kookaburra, cockatoos, whip-birds and bellbirds (common between Whitebridge and Redhead) but down in the north Belmont wetlands dad and I were treated to a fine performance of bellbird song:

After we finished the track we bussed to Charlestown for some lunch and quick shopping. Both of us were pretty tired by now, so I debated the madness of getting off the bus home on Beaumont Street for one last look at the used bookstores. How fortuitous I did though, for I was able to get two more gamebooks I didn’t have, that were – the attendant told me – just sold to the store yesterday!

Two last shots:

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Pretty mannequins! Why do I always take photos of mannequins? In this case I like how they are all different…

Yesterday I bought my parents Scrabble. The new version includes an incredibly complete rulebook, that contains advanced rules (“Don’t think about using the X unless you can make at least 30 points…”) and a dictionary of all legal 2-letter words. Fun stuff, but this next shot shows what can happen to a game when such a dictionary is available:

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Tomorrow I shall bid my parents goodbye and take an early train to Sydney. I’ll have 2.5 days left to amuse myself. Hopefully I shall make them productive!