Archive for the ‘The Unknown’ Category

Return Of The Comic Ads!

Thursday, November 7th, 2013

Once again my friends, I obtained a pile of comics at NYCC the other week. The pickings in the 25-cent bin were slim, and I’d be lying if I said any of the books I purchased were actually good. But the ads my friends, the ads! As I will show you here, some shining examples of playing to the dreams and fears of children were to be found in those musty books…

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I’ll start with something relatively tame. The above ad (from a 1966 comic) answers the question in every child’s mind: “What can I do to be more interesting?” Of course it has particular relevance to readers of comics, who no doubt were unsatisfied with their amateur sketches of superheroes. Props to the copywriter who came up with the criminally obvious lie wonderful tagline: No Talent! No Lessons!

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The above advert (from a 1980s comic) is fundamentally the same: selling a product that promises to make life more interesting. But oh my god, what the hell is this ad talking about? ‘The Badge of the Future’??! Learn what at home in spare time? How to sleep under pines or catch breakfast from icy streams? I can only imagine the disappointment that resulted from ambitious youngsters sending away for the above and quickly learning that their future was not actually Grizzly Adams.

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Most comics of those days include ‘get-rich-quick’ ads designed to separate children from their pocket money via what must be only a technicality away from a pyramid scheme. And then we have ads like this one (from a 1980 Star Trek comic) that deliver a more enticing promise: be a salesman! In particular, this product must be a sure thing, appealing as it no doubt does to millions of prospects every year! I wonder how many children believed that, and how many fewer actually made any money selling these things. My guess is very, very few.

Here’s an advert from 1980 for an upcoming blockbuster film:

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What’s that you say? You don’t remember the shameless Jaws ripoff beloved and heart-rending film Orca? To quote an amazon reviewer: “It’s hard to say which aspect of this film is the stupidest”…

…the art in the ad is amazing though isn’t it! πŸ˜‰

Anyway, moving on to the other type of advert very common in comics – ads selling stuff to kids. Here’s a few notable examples:

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Even today, I only have to read the ‘Can be heard 5 miles‘ headline to know that as a kid I would have sold body parts to obtain one of these. This is also from the 1966 comic, and one wonders exactly what these products were and specifically what they fired. If the claim was even half true, it seems unlikely that these would have been legal!

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Jump forward to 1981 and this amusingly bad ad for licensed Star Wars caps. The sketches look like they took someone at least one second! And if you’re going to sell Star Wars merchandise, why caps?! How many kids bought these and wore them to school and got beaten senseless as a result?

Speaking of being beaten senseless because of something you are wearing, check out this from a 1983 Conan comic…

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…was that really a successful ad?

As usual, I try and leave the best for last, and I believe I have two absolutely epic advertisements this time. Let’s start with one from a 1981 Star Trek comic:

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Ok let’s analyze this point-by-point:

1) This product lets you dominate the minds of others…
2) Including complete strangers…
3) To do anything you want…
4) ‘Willingly and cheerfully’…
5) Without even knowing you are doing it!

I’ll be honest and admit I never knew this product existed, and frankly now that I do I am unsettled. Every moment of every day I may be being controlled by an unknown mind-puppeteer who, 32 years ago, purchased this product after reading a terrible Star Trek comic. The thought gives me chills.

On the other hand, now I know this is possible I need to obtain this product myself! The mind boggles at what I will achieve when I can dominate everyone secretly, and at the very least we’ll probably see more stuff like this in the world:

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That said, I think the powers bestowed by witchcraft were more expansive πŸ˜‰

Could there even possibly be an ad that makes you double-take more than the above? Yes my friends, sadly there is:

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I thought the live seahorses was bad, but sending live monkeys in the mail?! Even though it was less than 50 years ago, this really makes me reflect on how different the US was back in the 1960s (which is when this ad was ran). Did anyone take advantage of this offer? How many monkeys were mailed? How many survived, or were released into the wild? And how many were dressed in cute costumes and forced to put on shows? Incredible.


The Voyager

Thursday, September 19th, 2013

You may have heard the news: last week NASA confirmed that the probe Voyager 1, launched back on September 5 1977, had left our solar system and is now in interstellar space. Moving at over 60,000 km/hr, it is now headed toward the Great Unknown, and in a decade or two will leave humanity behind.

For such a brave and successful explorer, this future is both appropriate and yet deeply saddening.

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That was Voyager before it was launched. For it’s time, it had the most sophisticated computers, detectors, imaging systems and transmitters known. The software was upgradeable, and it even had a 64 kB tape drive on which it could backup data if it was temporarily unable to transmit it home. The primary mission of Voyager, following on from the earlier Pioneer probes, was to explore the outer Solar System, specifically Saturn and Jupiter.

And how it succeeded! 14 months after launch Voyager reached Saturn (the ‘Jovian system’) and began to send back spectacular images like this:

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That’s Jupiter with two of it’s moons, Io (left) and Europa. Voyager was about 350,000 kilometers away when this was taken, and this and other images gave us knowledge of Jupiter and it’s moons – such as rings, volcanic activity and the atmospheric winds – that we could never have known without such close-range observation. Voyager spent about 5 months close enough to Jupiter to study it and then continued on toward Saturn.

It took almost a year and a half more to get to the next planet, but once Voyager arrive it once again astonished everyone back here at home with not only its scientific discoveries (including details of the surfaces of the many moons and complex structures of the rings) but also photos like this one that has become famous:

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This angle is not observable from Earth, and obviously it is impossible to image Saturn with this resolution from here (or even Earth orbit). Were it not for Voyager, we simply wouldn’t have had an image as beautiful as this.

After Saturn, in November 1980, Voyager’s primary mission was ended, a little over three years after it had begun. That was 33 years ago.

But Voyager didn’t stop! Unlike Cassini (which is even now orbiting Saturn and at the end of it’s mission in four years will crash into the planet), Voyager continued along a trajectory which would take it to the very edges of our Solar system. It was still powered and scientists at NASA continued to use the instruments for experiments related to the composition of space and the influence of the Sun at long distances, but Voyager continued moving further and further away from home.

in February 1990 Voyager took its last – and perhaps most famous – photograph, shortly thereafter dubbed ‘Pale Blue Dot’:

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See that tiny bright spot about halfway down the brown stripe on the right side? That’s where you are now; that’s Earth. This is Voyager looking home 13 years after it had left. This is the farthest-ever photo taken of Earth, taken from a distance of 6.5 billion kilometers. Shortly afterwards Voyagers cameras were shut down; the software uninstalled, and the computers back here on Earth used to interpret the images mothballed.

I wonder if any camera will ever photograph this planet from a distance greater than this photo?

And so Voyager continued, moving into the farthest reaches of our Solar System. In 1998 it passed Pioneer 10 (which had been launched 5 years before Voyager) and became the farthest man-made object from our planet. And yet it continued onward, and continues still.

It was confirmed recently by NASA that Voyager has now entered interstellar space, which means it had left our solar system (the area of space subject to the solar winds of our sun). It has been traveling for over 36 years now, and still continues to send data back to Earth. Voyager is now 18.7 trillion miles from Earth, and its messages take 17 hours to arrive. While some of the instruments have ceased to function, Voyager still has enough power to take measurements of the composition of deep space and send that data back to Earth. However in about a decade the instruments will be powered down, and in about 20 years Voyager will be out of our range. At that point, it will truly be gone.

One aspect of Voyager that made the probe famous from the very start was the Golden Record:

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This disc is bolted to the craft, and contains images and sounds from Earth. This was intended as a sort of introduction to the people that created the probe, intended to be decoded by any intelligent race that may one day recover Voyager. The record is attached to the side of the craft and is protected against collisions with space dust by an aluminium case. It is presumed the record will be viable for over a billion years.

The contents of this disc are hopeful and wonderful and inspired. This ‘message in a golden bottle’ is not a plea for help; it is a plea for friends. Greetings in 55 languages (and ‘whale sounds’) are included, ranging from the very simply “Hello” (in Hebrew) to the poetic “Greetings to our friends in the stars. May time bring us together” (in Arabic). There is hardly enough information in these brief recordings to decode any meaning, but the intent is beautiful.

Additional sounds include those of nature (frogs and rain), industry (trains) and humanity (heartbeats, laughing). 90 minutes of music are also on the disc, including my dad’s favourite, Beethoven. Many images are also included, of all manner of topics including people, animals, science, nature and space exploration itself. I particularly like that the Sydney Opera House is on the disc.

As a child I used to wonder a lot about who would find this disc. I would have assumed that they would be able to play it and decode the images and sounds, and that one day they may find their way to the planet on which it was recorded. However the simple truth is that such a possibility – even if the aliens exist – is almost nonexistent.

Voyager is headed into deep space, on a mission with a duration that will make the 18 months between Jupiter and Saturn seem like a walk in the park. Voyager isn’t headed toward any particular star, much less the closest, and therefore it is difficult to predict where it will end up.

The distances in space are vast – so big as to be beyond human understanding. NASA says in about 40,000 years Voyager will be in the vicinity of the star Gleiss, which has an unusual elliptical orbit and will then be, at a distance of 3.6 light years, the closest star to Earth. But Voyager will (at best), be only about 1.6 light years from Gleiss. If it continues at its current speed, that means at best Voyager will only get within 28000 years of Gleiss. NASA is throwing us some hope with their statement: the truth is Voyager will continue for a very, very, long time before it actually ends up anywhere, if it even does at all.

And will it be found? In about 20 years Voyager will ‘die’; it’s power supply will shut down and it will stop transmitting. Think of the transmitter as a beacon. By then it will be too far for us to detect it, but presumably someone else closer than us might. But once the beacon is off, the finding such a tiny piece of metal in the impossibly vast expanse of space will become almost impossible. This is not a challenge that can be overcome by more and more sophisticated detection equipment; the inability to find Voyager will be due to simple laws of physics. Without any beacon to guide a potential discovery, Voyager will only be intercepted if it is literally stumbled upon.

The likelihood is that this will never happen, and Voyager will continue forever, alone and unfound, until one day perhaps it is captured by the gravitational field of an unknown sun billions of years from home.

Spare a thought for this little guy. He’s further than any human will ever be. He’s seen things no human will ever see. He will survive every person on this planet and very likely every person that will ever live on this planet. He may even survive this planet itself, when it is absorbed into our ever-growing sun billions of years from now. If that day ever arrives, the only history that we ever existed will be the remaining space probes, and Voyager will likely remain the farthest one that we ever sent into the Great Unknown.

The Secret Caverns

Saturday, August 3rd, 2013

Today, we went here:

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It’s a natural limestone cave located adjacent to another (much more famous) attraction called Howe Caverns. We’d been to Howe a couple of times over the years, and it was time to visit the quirky neighbour!

As you can tell from the sign, the emphasis is on quirkiness. Here’s the main building:

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The interior is full of ancient souvenirs, bizarro attractions and weird ‘hippy’ paintings. For instance, this is a mummy found in the cave:

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And the accompanying story of the mummy:

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Even the bathrooms are unusual:

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The caves were opened in 1930 by an engineer who used to work at Howe caverns and wanted a cave of his own. Initially, tourists descended the more than 100 feet to the bottom by rope (!), but now they have stairs.

Here’s the above ground entrance:

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Which covers stairs leading down:

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The cave is wet and cold (50F) and runs in a more or less straight line for about 200 meters. Initially, the path is narrow and a bit like a tunnel:

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But quickly becomes more natural including obstructions:

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And a lot of water:

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Until it ends at the star attraction, a 100 foot underground waterfall:

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The flow rate is high, and the river continues out of the cave along a passage that would be navigable (but is closed off) that – after another fall – apparently runs out of a mountain into a large creek.

There are rumours the waterfall itself is ‘assisted’ by a pump, but our guide denied this πŸ™‚

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Note the hippy lighting on the falls. It played tricks on the eye, as you can see since I look tubby in the photo above πŸ˜‰

Back on the surface, after punishment for some crime I’m sure I committed:

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I had to spend a moment on another attraction in the gift house. That would be the one on the right:

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Omg, Sky Shark! I used to be able to beat this on one man, but here I was only able to double the existing high score, which I soon learned had been set by an employee and was considered unbeatable πŸ™‚

All in all, a great place to visit. If any of you are in Albany again, I may have to take you!

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The New Addiction

Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

Meet Zoffy, of Nebulon, my avatar in the new Animal Crossing for 3DS:

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The game is all sorts of awesome, especially if you’ve been hooked by any past game in the series. It’s wonderful to get back to village maintenance and chatting with your animal buddies:

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Although I’ve only been playing a week (since returning from Japan), it’s obvious the game is much more expansive than ever, with a mind-boggling array of stuff to do. This is no longer just a game you play for half an hour a day!

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One new addition is ‘Club Tortimer’, which is an island excursion where you can play with people from all over the world. Yesterday I did this, and found myself on an island at night with two Japanese girls:

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The one on the left was called Mari, and was very talkative and spoke great English. She is a secretary in Kobe that likes Ultraman! (This came up because my character, Zoffy, is named after one of the Ultramen):

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The girl in the middle (with the pink hair) works as a secretary in a Tokyo Hospital. She is a hardcore player, and even had this award:

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Anyway while we were chatting, we were just standing in a line like in the first picture. They were asking me about America and what I like about Japan and all sorts of stuff when I said “Do you know Rilakkuma?”. Their reaction was immediate and astounding:

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As soon as the famous bear’s name was mentioned, both girls started running about the island excitedly just saying things like “love”, “cute”, “gyu~~~!” etc. They were maniacal about Kuma to the extent that even the mention of his name sent them into paroxysms! It was very funny πŸ™‚

Later in the day, I also met Audrey, who lives in Paris. She told me it was sunny and hot:

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So I showed her a fish:

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These occurrences and much, much more are what await you should you enter the world of Animal Crossing πŸ˜‰

Jokes aside, the online component (random matchmaking) is somewhat restricted as you may expect from Nintendo. Also, with no way to friend these people or even interact much with them outside of one-line chats, it will probably be something I don’t do very often. But my first experiences of it were very amusing!

Now back to catching bugs…

We Live With Animals!

Sunday, May 12th, 2013

Ok fellows, time again for some candid camera backyard snaps! This entry is a good one…

Firstly, I set the camera up leaning against our house looking directly in the backyard onto the grass. I left it there for a few days and… almost no animal photos! However, by sheer coincidence our backyard neighbour was having a tree removed during this period and the entire process was captured in about 300 photos πŸ™‚

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Interesting… but not furry! However this next one – one of the very few animal shots captured during that period, is most definitely interesting:

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Now I’m no zoologist, but that to me looks like either:
a) A bear
b) A cougar
c) A thylacine
Sadly, with no further photos of the mysterious beast, accurate identification may remain elusive.

I then moved the camera, placing it on the patio angled toward the tree you see in the right side of the above pictures. Here was the new vista when moved:

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This was a good spot! It seems this little tree sits atop a backyard highway, since over the next few days many types of beast wandered into shot. I’ll not show the usual suspects (squirrels, birds) and focus on two visitors.

Here’s a rabbit hopping into view:

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And here, my friends, is an up-until-now elusive opossum:

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Look at that ratty tail and pointed snout. Could this be the same guy I saw with my own eyes years ago?

Now we cut to about a week later (ignore the date stamp on the photos; I never bother to set it when). For Christmas we received a brand new squirrel feeder. It is a wheel on an axel that rotates freely and has place to put three corn cobs. In addition, I purchased a different feeder myself, which hangs a food block off a spring. About two weeks ago we installed these and set a camera on them. Here’s an establishing shot:

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300 photos would be captured in this spot, about 90% of them containing squirrels making use of their feeders. Here’s two examples:

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The photos not containing squirrels fall into two categories:
1) Night photos, that almost always contain only deer, and
2) Photos of birds

Here is a night example:

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And here is a bird example:

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That’s a bluejay. We have yet to see any squirrels attempt to feed from the new hanging feeder (as opposed to the corncob feeder hanging behind it). I think it may be too far from the branch.

By the way, compare the lushness of the greenery in the above shot to the establishing shot above. Only six days separate the two. Next year I should do a timelapse in early spring to show the growth of the trees and ferns.

Now we get to the good stuff, as in the really good stuff. I also moved the camera to look directly at the rotating feeder, and switched it over to video mode. It was set to record 30 second clips, and during the very first night hit the jackpot. Here are four such clips edited together:

Yes, that’s a raccoon! Possibly the same guy we captured in a photo a few weeks back. According to the timestamps, he was there for about 14 minutes in total. Cute little bugger, isn’t he? πŸ™‚

So the list is squirrels, chipmunks, deer, birds, cats, rabbits, opossum and raccoons that we have caught on our cameras over the years. We know of three other mammals we know to visit our backyard that have still not been captured on film. Will I ever see them? Can you guess what they are?