Category: The Unknown

Finally, Proof!

KLS was looking through the photos she took in NYC and found this remarkable shot:

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That’s me all king-of-the-castle on a rock in Central Park. But look over my right shoulder! There’s definitely something there, something astonishing. I’ve analyzed this breathtaking evidence over and over, doing research, running simulations and comparing the statistics. Here, my friends, are the results of my research. The possible explanations are presented in ascending order by percentage:

Lens Flare (0%) – lest any killjoys try and shrug this off as lens flare, consider for a moment lens flare is an effect of the sun and it was an extremely cloudy day. This possibility can therefore be ignored!

Something Else (1%) – by which I mean something other than the options presented in detail below. This list may include any of the following, each with a < 1% chance: - A god, including greater, lesser, outer, inner or undergods, with the most likely candidate being the Aztec deity Quetzalcoatl. - A reflection, such as from a 'space string', invisible jet, Daedalus platform, metallic dragon or even the Kecksburg bell (which must have been flying past at relativistic speeds). - A fairy, or even perhaps fairy royalty (Oberon or Titania). - A 'sky jellyfish' or 'cloud fish' (extremely unlikely since only crazies think these things are real). - A ghost (also unlikely since, being undead, ghosts are vulnerable to light damage and this appears to be a manifestation of light). - A flying city or magical fortress, including Lost Lemuria (unlikely since they don't fly at low altitudes). - A USO, possible originating from the lake behind where I was standing. - Something else even more unknown than anything mentioned here? An Esper (4%) – Espers can of course fly, and the rainbow could be diffraction from the edge of the ‘thought bubble’ they use to travel. It would also be a mundane act for an esper to cloud themselves in light to avoid detection. While this possibility is unlikely, it’s not so unlikely as to be ruled out.

A UFO (25%) – a very possible candidate, since UFO’s are known to manifest as balls of light, demonstrate ‘solid light’ effects, and would very likely be manufactured of advanced materials that could diffract light. Furthermore the secondary ball in the lower right of the image could be some sort of drone craft or even an alien beaming down to Earth. An enticing thought.

An Angel (70%) – consider the facts:
– Angels are beings of light
– Angels very rarely manifest to very special and blessed individuals (such as me)
– When angels manifest, they usually have a message.
The evidence is compelling, and all three of the above are satisfied. Time and time again, the simulations and research led to one conclusion: this is a photograph of an angel. I think you’ll agree that this possibility dwarfs the others.

So I continued my research, digging deeper into the lore of the Seven Heavens, and made a startling discovery. This, my friends, is not just any angel! This is a photograph of Sandalphon, the Fiercest Fire and Chief of the Seventh Heaven! He shines like few other angels, has rainbows for wings and is always accompanied by cherubim (which explains the secondary phenomenon in the lower right).

But why did he appear? What exactly was his message? My friends, even the answer to this esoteric question was revealed to me: Sandalphon appeared in Central Park on Monday to herald his descent as the boss of a new dungeon available in Puzzle and Dragons starting tomorrow:

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It sounds unbelievable I know, even perhaps insane. Time and time again I was tempted to bury my results, and dismiss this picture as a trick of the light. But as they say, ‘the camera doesn’t lie’. And therefore we must conclude that on Sunday, May 25, Archangel Sandalphon appeared in The sky above New York to advertise a cell phone game!

What do you think? Any flaws in my theory? What do you think the photo shows?

Master Of Puzzles

It’s time I revealed another of my secret skills: Puzzle Master!

But I’m not one of those half-men that only solves puzzles. No my friends, I have now become adept at creating puzzles.  My brain-twisters will be a challenge for all non-genii, and should provide endless hours of entertainment to those that cannot count themselves among the hallowed brethren of the puzzle savants.

Curious to test and see where you rank in the world of puzzlers? Try this one first (you can print the full-sized version):

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Good luck working out what that is without finishing it!

But of course I know there are some real smart alecks reading this blog, and I’m sure one or two of you may even be able to finish the above without more than 3 or 4 mistakes. Lest your heads swell, I’ve decided to present you with another of my creations to show you just how lofty the halls of the Gods Of Puzzling are…

And so! One of my greatest creations: a ‘god tier‘ difficulty (and quite positively Laytonesque) Picross for you to solve:

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Print it and solve it! Send me a photo of the completed puzzle for a mystery prize! (If you don’t know how to solve Picross puzzles, read this)

Good luck 🙂

The Flatwoods Monster

It’s been a while since a cryptid post, so today I introduce…The Flatwoods Monster!

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In 1952 some children and their parent, investigating what they believed was a UFO crash, saw something resembling the above sketch in the woods near the town of Flatwoods, in West Virginia. The monster briefly menaced them before fleeing to its UFO. The children and adult ran screaming and despite many searches no further evidence of the monster was found.

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Despite this being very likely a misidentified barn own as a result of hysteria, the so-called Flatwoods Monster has entered into the UFO/Cryptid lexicon and far, far outlived it’s very brief 15 seconds of fame. Crackpot theories include such things as it being a member of the lizard race from inner Earth, an angel (or demon), a conventional ‘grey’ alien piloting an antigravity suit and the (rather mundane) possibility it was indeed exactly as seen – a representative of a hitherto unknown alien race. The Flatwoods encounter may have also inspired the ‘black oil’ as seen on The X-Files (due to ‘moving oil’ residue allegedly found at the scene) and almost certainly (since it was widely reported) contributed to the fear amongst some that UFOs and their alien inhabitants may be hostile in nature (enforced by the Hopkinsville Goblin encounters three years later).

In short, it was the result of hysteria that would possibly inspire hysteria in others.

But – and here’s why I feature it today – the Flatwoods Monster has become a sort of alien icon in that most imaginative of places – Japan! Just as the western world has adopted ‘the greys’ as the quintessential alien blueprint, Japan has given equal status to the Flatwoods Monster, of all things. And as a result it has made many and varied appearances in Japanese popular culture.

Here’s an ‘alien poster’ from what looks like 1960s or 1970s Japan:

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Notably absent are conventional grey aliens, which is not surprising since they weren’t popularized until the late 1980s (and we can thank Whitley Streiber for that…). You can of course see our Flatwoods Monster on the lower left, along with a few other ‘famous aliens’ of the time (notably Adamski’s Venusians second from the left on the top row).

Of those shown above, the Flatwoods Monster appearance seemed to gain authority in Japan, and I’ve read that throughout the 70s and 80s whenever aliens (as in UFO inhabitants) were required they were often drawn using this appearance. This continued into game depictions of aliens, and over the years I have chuckled at the multitudes of Flatwoods Monsters I’ve seen, fought or even befriended in games!

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The above is from the anime Keroro Gunso. Here’s a few examples of the monster in games…

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That’s the penultimate boss of Tumblepop (Arcade). It’s a good depiction!

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That’s the nonhuman form of the queen from Space Harrier 2 (Genesis). The inspiration is obvious.

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The final boss of the NES game Amagon.

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The aliens from The Legend Of Zelda: Majora’s Mask (N64).

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A type of random monster encounter in Wild Arms (PS1).

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That’s a boss from the Wii U game Wonderful 101 (which I am playing right now).

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And a scary version from Elminage for the PSP (photo I took from my Vita).

So a probably-nonexistent monster seen over 60 years ago in a small American town has now become the standard alien archetype for Japanese video games. That’s a path to fame that would impress even an alien!