Archive for the ‘Time’ Category

Review: Galactica 1980

Thursday, February 26th, 2015

Back in 1978, right in the midst of Star Wars hype, a TV show called Battlestar Galactica aired. I recently bought the entire series and we watched it again, and it holds up quite well today. Sure there are a few too many episodes of Starbuck crash-landing on planets, and sure the logic of them doggedly crossing the universe looking for a Earth whilst leaving countless habitable planets in their way is questionable, but it’s fun.

The show only ran one season though, before being taken off the air. Fan response was loud, and even in those pre-internet days was effective enough to bring the show back in 1980. But the ‘second season’ was different, and not just in name. Here then, a review of the entire series called Galactica 1980.

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Galactica Discovers Earth (episodes 1-3)

We start off about twenty years after the last episode of Battlestar Galatica. Most of the main cast are gone, seemingly replaced with duplicates. Don’t be confused thinking that’s Starbuck and Apollo in the show above, no-sir that’s Dillon and Troy. It must just be a coincidence that the actors could almost be stand-ins! The Galactica has now found Earth, but there is a problem: the planet is not technologically advanced enough to fight off the Cylons. A plan is soon hatched to advance Earth’s technology (Prime Directive be damned!) so the ‘Galacticans’ can feel good about arriving at the planet. Even a child could have pointed out the flaws in the logic of the premise.

The plot for this multi-episode arc is lunacy, and involves time travel (invented by the child ‘Doctor Zee’ and never before even hinted at in the series), the dad from The Brady Bunch, flying motorcycles, rescuing Jews from the Nazis (I wish I was joking), far too much use of invisibility technology and endless use of old footage to save money on special effects. KLS and I were slack-jawed as we watched, hardly imagining this was the next season in the ‘same’ series as we had just finished watching. The acting is wooden, the plots illogical and insane, the comedy (?) insulting and the special effects bad even by 1980 standards. It’s a travesty, and I wept a single tear as I quietly uttered “How did it come to this?”

Grade: 0 out of 10

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The Super Scouts (episodes 4 & 5)

Close to the start of these punishingly bad two episodes is a lengthy scene in which a group of ‘Galactican’ students are taught about gravity. Seemingly endlessly, Apollo Troy drones on as if reading from a textbook. It’s mind-boggling until you realize the show had to include such nonsense to satisfy arcane requirements on educational TV content back in those days. Such inclusions (in every single episode) make what was already the worst sci-fi TV series ever made even worse.

But I digress. It’s hard to believe anyone kept watching this series after the three-part opener, but for those that did these two episodes must surely have tested their resolve. We learn the Galacticans are super powered on Earth due to the lower gravity (ie. they rip off Superman), Starbuck Dillon and Apollo Troy are tasked in setting up a colony of children on Earth and hijinks ensue. We have such wonderful scenes as comedy police chases (ie. they rip off Dukes Of Hazzard), wretched acting by talentless children most of which are named ‘Larson’ and scenes of tense (?) medical drama as the kids fall victim to poisoning due to a nearby chemical plant dumping waste into a river. Yes, it’s an ecomentalist fantasy involving kids, superpowers, flying motorcycles and nothing –ย nothing at all – that is entertaining to watch.

Grade: 0 out of 10

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Spaceball (episode 6)

This episode answers the question no-one ever asked: “What if Battlestar Galactica was more like The Bad News Bears?” I can’t even bring myself to describe the feelings I had watching this execrable episode so let’s just talk about Doctor Zee.

In the first episode it is revealed he is a freak supra-genius mutation and it is him that not only invents time travel, invisibility tech and anti-gravity drives but he also provides Starbuck Dillon and Apollo Troy with a sonic-screwdriver like device to facilitate much of the above. Basically he’s Doctor Who as if played by a child cosplaying as John Denver. It would be easy to dismiss him as a character so utterly and inexplicably bad that even thinking about him is a waste of time, but then the creators of the show take things one step farther by recasting him (without explanation) as…

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…that guy. Yes my friends, Doctor Who Zee actually regenerates! As the series moves on his omniscience seems to grow to the point where even Adama seems to be in his thrall and then in a predictable (for this show) move, everything we know about Doctor Zee is turned on it’s head in the final episode. But I’ll get to that, since right now I’m reviewing Spaceball, which I say with dreadful and sincere honesty is the very worst episode of any sci-fi series I have ever seen or ever will see.

Grade: <0 out of 10

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The Night The Cylons Landed (episodes 7 & 8)

Anyone still watching in 1980 must have been a sucker for punishment or had only one channel, because Spaceball would have driven any living human away from this show. And yet, the terror continues in a story that introduced strangely human cylons (the guy in the above photo) and is extensively written around a Halloween party at which the (real-life) radio DJ ‘Wolfman’ Jack is a guest. Capers ensue. New lows include Starbuck Dillon and Apollo Troy dancing in a pantomine whilst evading police and the usual nonsense involving flying motorcycles and comedy based around how utterly stupid the two pilots Adama chose to basically save the entire Earth are.

That said, this is a rise in quality for one reason: It’s got a cylon in it. And I don’t mean that dude in a grey suit that no-one actually believes is a cylon, I mean the classic silver-suited cylon with the red eye. When I watched this episode as a child I bet I loved that part. Watching it as adult, it only helped to slightly dull the pain.

Grade: 1 out of 10

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Space Croppers (episode 9)

Surely the creators were just having the viewers on by now? This would be the final episode of the series to feature most of the main cast, and is an edu-drama simultaneously teaching students about the evils of bigotry (against Latinos) and such riveting facts as seeds needing molybdenum in the soil to germinate! Even as I type these words, I can barely believe they are true.

The Galacticans need food badly, so Starbuck Dillon and Apollo Troy – Bad News Bears Super Scouts in tow – essentially take over the imperiled farm of a lovely mexican, saving him from the cruel ministrations of a Boss Hog-like landowner. Not once do we ever get any sort of explanation as to how a single farm can feed the entire fleet, nor why it was ok to leave the children in the hands of a female reporter who was presumably introduced (way back in episode 1) as a love-interest that never came to fruition due to the 7 pm time slot. Not once do we actually care, since this is an almost unimaginably bad episode, packed to the gills with awful dialogue and ‘action’ scenes written by someone who just no longer cared (such as when our heroes plough a field in seconds by using their lasers). In the last scene, as the flying motorbikes streak off into the sunset, it’s hard to imagine any viewer ever wanting to see them ever again.

Grade: 0 out of 10

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The Return Of Starbuck (final episode)

Dirk Benedict, who played Starbuck in the original series, famously dodged a bullet by being unavailable when Galactica 1980 started. Even his charm couldn’t have saved the awful scripts and constraints put on the series by the network (educational content, kids, Earth-based episodes). And yet he returns here in the series swansong, and somehow it works.

The episode starts with Doctor Zee describing a fever dream he recently had, and this frames a story about Starbuck crashing (surprise, surprise) on a planet, repairing a cylon, befriending the cylon, finding a mysterious pregnant women and eventually building a ship (!) to save her and the child. It is eventually revealed the child is none other than – drumroll please – Doctor Zee! Which means either Adama was a big fat liar back in episode 1 or the scriptwriters were so strung out on coke by now they just didn’t give a damn.

Don’t get me wrong – this is a dreadful episode of a dreadful show. But in the Galactica 1980 annals, this is by far the best episode. Starbuck is back! There’s cylons! They talk and make jokes together! It’s a buddy comedy in space! Nothing about it is believable or even plausible but to an audience beaten senseless by 9 weeks of the worst TV they had ever seen this must have been like a message from God.

Grade: 2 out of 10 (or 10 out of 10 by Galactica 1980 standards)

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This last shot is not the third actor who played Doctor Zee, no this is myself, from around 1978 or 1979. About the age I was when this show originally screened. I had never seen it since, but watched it all when it was first on. And you know what, I remembered a lot of it! Even before we started watching I was telling KLS about dim memories of Wolfman Jack and invisible spaceships and even Starbuck befriending a cylon (not to mention a mysterious story involving a cylon painted black, but we’ll ignore that for now). I wonder if I watched it with a twinkle in my eye, half-plastic cylon model ship in hand, dazzled by the fantasy and charmed by Starbuck Dillon and Apollo Troy?

As bad as this show was – and is – I truly wonder what I thought of it as a child. Did I like it? Did I love it? Did I go and see the film ‘Galactica Discovers Earth’ that was edited together from the first three episodes and only shown in cinemas in Australia and New Zealand? I wish I could use Doctor Zee’s time travel technology to go back 35 years and ask myself ๐Ÿ™‚

The Mystery Box

Tuesday, February 17th, 2015

While pottering around recently, I found this:

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Here’s a detail of the sticker:

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‘Star Wars Poster Box’? $55? What is this thing? I can only very vaguely recall buying it. I think it was at the closing down sale of a bookstore, and I think it was deeply discounted (to $10 or something like that).

But I never, ever opened it. It was still factory sealed, and had been that way for about 15 years. Until today. Here’s what was inside:

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Holy cripes so shiny! Such a pretty, pretty silvery metallic box. I swooned a little ๐Ÿ™‚

Here’s the back:

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So it’s a lithograph collection of Doug Chiangs concept art from The Phantom Menace. Looks pretty. However I still haven’t really opened it, since the beautiful silver box is itself shrinkwrapped.

Tell me readers, should I continue opening…?

The Gamebook History Post

Sunday, February 1st, 2015

I’ve read a few blog posts about gamebook collecting in recent months, and thought it was time to make my own.

What’s a gamebook? It’s a solo RPG adventure in book form. Tradaitionally gamebooks are distinct from ‘choose your own adventures’ in that they have some sort of system associated with them (usually keeping track of statistics and items, or rolling dice), but strict classification isn’t easy to do and the lines blur here and then with particular books.

While not the very first gamebook, the genre can be traced back to this particular book, which came out way back in 1982:

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I was 10 at the time, and bought my first book – the exact version picture above – via the scholastic book club at school. It changed my life!

All of a sudden I didn’t just have to read about fantasy adventures involving orcs and elves and demons and dragons, I could play them as well! I was too young at the time to know that the authors were entrenched in interests I would eventually adopt myself (not the least being Dungeons & Dragons), and merely got swept away by the magic of the book with it’s vivid descriptions of peril, chaos and heroism and the astonishing (to this day) artwork contained within. I must have read through the book dozens and dozens of times, and the joy I experienced was only surpassed by the discovery that there would be more books like it published soon afterward.

I eagerly bought every Fighting Fantasy (as the series was dubbed) book as they were released, initially via the school book club and soon thereafter (once gamebooks had become a phenomenon) in the bookstores. Other series began (Lone Wolf, Way Of The Tiger, Falcon etc.) and I bought them too. I quickly built up a sizeable collection and it became perhaps my biggest hobby. I even wrote two books of my own (sequels to Scorpion Swamp and Forest Of Doom), compiled a bestiary (prior to the publication of Out Of The Pit) and even copied the art to hang it on my wall:

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The above was taken in 1987, when I was fifteen and still clearly still enjoying my gamebooks. I was quite proud of my collection and it was displayed prominently in my room. I even saved related miscellany, including the adverts in magazines, reviews in newspapers, related magazines (Warlock and Proteus) and even an iron-on patch I was given at a bookstore when I purchased a book once.

Then I ‘grew up’, life moved on (ie. girls were invented) and my gamebook hobby – as it did for many of my generation – took a back seat. By my first college years I still had my gamebooks but rarely purchased any new ones, and when I left Australia in ’93 I left them to my brother. Even then I didn’t consider selling them, because they were still an important (and very happy!) memory of my young adolescent years. I’m not 100% sure what happened to the collection. I know most of the Fighting Fantasy titles would move into AW’s care (where the collection remains to this day), but I don’t know what Bernard ever did with all the others.

Fast forward a few years. I moved to America, got married and a job and became immersed in video games (& video game collecting). But I never forgot about the gamebooks, and the memories were always good ones. When I first returned to Oz in 2000 I brought back two books with me (ironically Scorpion Swamp and Forest of Doom) that I purchased for a song at a used bookstore, and reading them – maybe 10 years since I last had – was just as much fun as it ever was. In those days the gamebook fad had died; no new books were being published (killed as they had been by video games and the passage of time) and even on the internet it was difficult to find much enthusiasm. It seemed they would live on in my memories only.

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When next I returned to Australia (in 2006), things had changed quite a bit. A British publisher (Wizard books) had purchased the rights to Fighting Fantasy books and had started republishing a few years prior. I was quite excited by this, and purchased many on that trip. In addition, when in Newcastle on that trip I bought every single gamebook (from any series) I found in used bookstores, including doubles of some. Upon returning to Sydney, I gave AW almost all of them as a gift, keeping only the doubles for myself (and of course the new imprints of FF books). I may not have realized it at that moment, but this was the start of my modern collection.

Within a few months of arriving back in America I had started buying books online, mostly (in those days) via ebay. I started with Fighting Fantasy books, and my goal was initially just the titles I had never read/owned but quickly became to build a full set of all books. This was still several years prior to the gamebook renaissance, and I was able to get books at astonishing prices (such as Night Dragon for only $3!). I remember watching auctions of lots of books – in which I only needed one or two – go buy with only my bid and winning for much less than I was prepared to pay. Those were fun days, and within only a few months I had close to a full collection of the Fighting Fantasy series. Some books remained elusive though, and it would take almost 8 years to complete the collection, by which point I had numerous imprints of many of the books including (almost) the entire US series.

I’d been well-and-truly bitten by the gamebook bug though, and long before finishing my FF collection I started on the other series. I dove in headfirst, and agressively hunted down the books from other major series such as Lone Wolf, Falcon, Skyfall, Grailquest and Golden Dragon. I discovered Demian’s webpage and it became sort of a shopping list for me. I was buying books on ebay and amazon mostly from overseas (Canada, England and Australia), and still trawling the used shops in Australia on my annual visits (I returned with 36 books in January 2011).

My collection continued to grow. By this time many of you knew about it, and I was helped significantly by Adam (who gave me many books, including returning the ones I’d given him in ’06), Bernard (who dug deep and bought me a few missing and expensive titles) and Florence (who astonished me with this graduation gift). It was getting harder and harder to find books I didn’t have, and my ‘recent aquisition’ piles tended to include more and more obscure series:

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So we come to today. You can view my entire collection here. I don’t know how many there are – over 300 at last count – and the website I created (to assist me when I am traveling) isn’t even complete (since it doesn’t list duplicates or all FF imprints I own). I’m still actively buying books to fill in the blanks in my collection, and have even started buying the reprints of old series being published by Morris and Thompson. The collection is physically quite large now, long having outgrown the full-sized bookshelf once dedicated to it. I really need to sort it at all and work out how to store it better…

To pre-empt questions from those that may read this:

Q: Do you read them all?

A: Yes – and no. I have played through every FF book and most of the books from other landmark series, but I haven’t yet played all Lone Wolf books, or every book from every series. However there isn’t a series I haven’t played at least one (if not more) books from, including the standalone gamebooks.

Q: What are your favourites?

A: You can’t go wrong with Fighting Fantasy titles, especially the fantasy ones from earlier in the series (pre #30). If someone was only ever going to read one gamebook, I’d always recommend the grand-daddy of them all Warlock Of Firetop Mountain. That said the other series I would recommend are the Blood Sword books (which have a deservedly high reputation), the Virtual Reality (now called Critical IF) books, the (Lovecraftian) Forbidden Gatewayย series and the recent Destiny Quest series. But to be honest, I love all gamebooks, even the ‘bad’ ones ๐Ÿ™‚

Q: What about Choose Your Own Adventures?

A: You can’t spend a decade buying gamebooks online or in used bookstores without eventually picking up some titles that blur the line between gamebook and choose-your-own-adventure. You’ll see on my website I have a few, and there are others I didn’t bother listing. Typically I find the traditional choose-your-own-adventure titles to be too childish for my interests, but some books that use the mechanic (notable Life’s Lottery by Kim Newman) are every bit as entertaining as a ‘real book’.

Q: What’s the most you’ve paid for a book?

A: Not much, maybe $20 at the very most, probably less. As I said above, I bought most of the books that are now very pricey long before people started collecting again in earnest, and got them for a song. I feel sorry for those that want to obtain something like an original Knights Of Doom or Deathmoor today). I know some of the gaps in my collection could easily be filled with a single click on amazon or ebay, but I’m not going to pay big $$$ for a book just to own it (yet).

Q: What are your most-wanted gamebooks that you don’t yet have?

A: In no particular order, these are the five that have eluded me but I haven’t yet given up on:

Trial Of Champions (original US imprint)
Sorcery box set with spellbook (I consider myself owning it ‘in spirit’ since AW has the one I bought years ago)
Blood Sword #5 (prohibitively expensive; may be reissued soon)
– high number Lone Wolf books (again, prohibitively expensive)
Citadel Of Chaos (US Wizard reissue, early 2000s. Jonathan Green mentions it’s existence in You Are The Hero, but does it actually exist?)

But the true Holy Grail would be a foreign imprint book. There’s hundreds of thousands of them out there – Warlock was published in dozens of languages – but I’ve never found one. I’ve particularly like a Japanese version, and have invested some time checking used shops and hobby stores during my many trips to that country (all to no avail). One day this may be mine:

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(Incidentally I do own the English language – and some JP imprints – of the Queen’s Blade books, as well as a number of Lost World gamebooks. I should probably add them to the website…)

Well that’s enough for a history. The collection is old and quite complete, but I consider it active and ever-growing. If you’ve got any questions add them in the comments, or via twitter if that’s what got you here.

And may your stamina never fail ๐Ÿ˜‰

 

2014 in Games

Saturday, December 20th, 2014

During 2014, my game collection saw its smallest growth in 17 years, but I ended up spending more in total than I had in the last 4 years. How was this possible?

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That’s the answer: I went into 2014 without a Vita (PSV), and will leave the year with a Vita and 20 games for it. This isn’t to say I adore the system (it has many flaws…), but it does have many of the sorts of games I like to play and since I believe the system is dead, I rushed to buy them all this year before they became difficult to find.

In total I bought 46 games in 2014 and spend a total of $1613.90. That’s an average cost of $35, which is a big increase over previous years. This is because I bought zero iOS games this year, and instead concentrated on 3DS and PSV software.

Here’s the charts:

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That’s the breakdown of units sold per system, with the Vita at 20 and the DS at 1. Despite being owned for longer than the Vita, at only 5 games purchased the Wii U isn’t seeing much use…

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That’s the dollars spend breakdown, and you can see the Vita ate the lion’s share of my spending. The tiny sliver for the DS is because the only game I bought cost $5 ๐Ÿ™‚

As for the games themselves, and my playing habits, looking back on 2014 I would have to say it was a mixed bag. The entire first half of the year (and into summer) was a bit of a drought, with me not playing much at all. In particularly I barely ever turned on the consoles (PS3 and Wii U) during those days.

But then something clicked after my summer vacations and I found myself become re-interested in gaming as the year moved into the fall. In particularly I very much enjoyed some Vita games like Toukiden and Demon Gaze and by mid fall the 3DS had me entirely under it’s spell with two masterpieces (see below).

BeforeI get to my favourites, two games deserve a special mention…

The first is Super Smash Bros for 3DS. This year Nintendo released Smash Bros on both 3DS and Wii U. I purchased the 3DS version, and will eventually get the Wii U version as well. The 3DS version however was, in my opinion, a bit of a square peg in a round hole. While Nintendo did an admirable job of stuffing a massive amount of content in, the game suffered from poor controls and a design not ideal for such a small screen and I put it aside quickly, with the intent of saving myself for the Wii U version.

The other game is Puzzle & Dragons, last year’s game of the year winner. Yes I’m still playing it (>580 days played now), yes I’m still loving it and yes I still think you should play it too. But I won’t include it in favourite lists this year since it disqualifies having won last year!

So my favourite games of 2014, in reverse order:

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3) Hyrule Warriors (Wii U)

This one came out of nowhere! Koei stuffed Zelda into the Dynasty Warriors engine and produced a game almost better than both! If you like hack-and-slash games then this one is for you, and the astonishing amount of content could take hundreds upon hundreds of hours to beat. Bravo Nintendo!

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2) Theatrhythym Final Fantasy: Curtain Call (3DS)

Curtain Call took everything that was good about the first game, multiplied by ten, and produced maybe the best sequel ever. I played this like a demon, leveling every character to maximum (sometimes more), SSS ranking every song and collecting all the cards. This is a music game ever that can stand along side Ouenden, and took over my life for a month or so earlier this year. While I was playing this I would have said it was a no-brainer for game of the year, but then something else came out…

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1) Fantasy Life (3DS)

Level 5 have created an action RPG with near perfect controls, beautiful graphics, and vast amounts of stuff to see and do. In addition to the usual systems (fighting monsters, casting spells, talking to NPCs etc) the game includes twelve classes (from Paladin to Cook) and you can go fishing, brew potions, make (hundreds and hundreds) of items, armor and weapons and recruit followers. It starts off easy and a little confined, but after a dozen or so hours of play you realize how mind-bogglingly big it is and how much time you’d need to max everything. Which I did. Including all the expansion ($9 on the 3DS store) content! All told I played for about 150 hours before putting it aside, but I suspect one day I’ll return just to finish off the (very difficult!) ‘Master Quests’. This isn’t just the best game I played this year – this is one of the best games I have ever played. Highly recommended.

As I always do I’ll end with a question: how was your year in games? What were your favourites in 2014?

Thinking of Sydney

Monday, December 15th, 2014

This one’s for my favourite city, and for how I wish Martin Place would look like right now.

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