Archive for the ‘Toys’ Category

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Thursday, March 1st, 2012

Here’s something else I got for Christmas:

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A mechanical marvel in natural wood! Here’s what it looked like when opened:

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One thing is missing from the above photo – the glue! Although the kit claimed to include wood glue, no such glue was found inside. Luckily – and not so wisely – I had some superglue handy…

The instructions to make the thing were all like this:

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Which is to say they made great sense to someone who already knew how to make it!

Yes I know it doesn’t seem difficult, but reconsider your impression based on the knowledge that parts were mislabeled, miscut or (in case) had the holes misdrilled. Now add to the mix the fact that the person putting it together is (unwisely) using super glue, which it turns out bonds made-in-Chinese wooden dino kit parts together in femtoseconds.

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That’s the base. The idea (I think!) is that the dino reproduces a walking motion when the crank is turned…

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Forming the head! It looks a bit cute even in the instructions doesn’t it?

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Connecting the crankshaft to the inner leg. I did this step incorrectly at first, and removing the piece was like trying to untie the Gordian knot. This would be, of course, because I was using super glue and the incorrectly placed pieces had bonded together in less than a single yoctosecond!

But eventually, after some cursing of myself, Yossie and even God, I managed to complete the wooden robot dino-beast. Let’s even call it a BioZoid! Here he stands in all his glory:

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Despite my comments this was an enjoyable build. It probably would have been more fun (albeit much slower) had I used wood glue and not super glue though. That was unwise…

What the photo doesn’t exactly show is that it didn’t work! If you turned the crank it spastically flopped a bit, but the head and arms moved not at all and the whole thing just looked uncomfortable. KLS had a great idea though – set it on fire! I had dreams of a future blog post showing my new BioZoid! resplendent in flames! A PyroZoid! perhaps?

Alas this was not to be, because while inspecting the arm/head mechanism the next day I broke it. I blame the superglue πŸ™‚

Here’s What My Brother Is (Not!) Getting Me For My Birthday

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

Every day, when I hear Mr Postman deliver, I eagerly trot down to the box to remove what surely must be arriving any day now: a birthday parcel from my brother.

Alas, I am every time disappointed; the fated package is yet to arrive.

Since my brother is the world’s very worst answerer-of-FaceTime calls, I’m going to use this entry to send a tiny nugget of information. I am assuming Bernard, that you’re birthday shopping for me is completed. As such, I can only imagine that you must have purchased for me the following item:

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As a Star Wars fan yourself, I have no doubt that Colonel Cracken is as beloved a character to you as he is me. Who can forget the battle against the Imperial Fleet in Jedi, when Lando and Nien Numb courageously flew the Millenium Falcon into the incomplete second Death Star to destroy it? True fans such as you and me surely know that success was in no small part due to the valiance of Airen Cracken, who was a crew member on that flight. As such, I have no doubt that the (long overdue!) action figure of the man himself shot to the very top of the list of items you surely wanted to give me to celebrate my birthday.

Alas, it is with a heavy heart that I must say that you’re going to have to return the one you bought, since I myself purchase this very figure today! It even now rests on my desk in a place of great pride.

And next time answer FaceTime when I call, so we can avoid these mixups in the future πŸ˜‰

A Long Time Ago…

Sunday, February 12th, 2012

Almost 12 years ago, back in March of 1999, I lined up for hours in the cold to pre-buy tickets for Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. I was beyond excited. Of course I was a child of the Star Wars era (having been born at the right time) and had been a fan most of my life. In those days – when everyone knew Episode I was coming but no-one had seen it – everyone was enthusiastic. It was going to be one of the biggest and most important films ever.

In those days I was buying Star Wars figures a lot more than I do now. I was avidly collecting them all (or at least trying), which wasn’t too difficult since they had only relatively recently been relaunched and not too many were in stores. Of course fans were excited about the Episode 1 figures that would soon be released, and had marked their calendars for a particular day: May 3, 1999.

That was the “street date” on Episode I merchandise. I was looking forward to buying stuff and was looking forward to that very day. In the week or so previous, I was surprised to find bits and pieces of Episode I merchandise in stores. Such as Darth Maul boxing shorts, or a Darth Maul towel, or an Anakin Skywalker plate. I bought them all. I still have them all πŸ™‚

I even made my first ever TV shopping network purchase: a Darth Maul cookie jar from QVC. I still love this item:

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On the evening of May 2 KLS and I lined up outside Toys’R’Us to wait for the midnight launch. I was so excited! When the doors open I surged in with the (sizeable) crown and bought one of almost everything. When I checked out I received a certificate to say I attended, which I still have to this day:

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I got even more excited looking at the figures and imagining what the movie would be like. The trailers were out, the ads were on TV and it just looked spectacular. I ate the marketing up, accumulating vast amounts of toys and merchandise, including massive amounts of garbage from the Taco Bell, Pizza Hut (I specifically went to Pizza Hut, a restaurant I dislike, to buy Star Wars merchandise) and Burger King. I collected the Star Wars cans, even going so far as to buy 12 packs of soda I hated and pouring it all down the sink just to get the empty cans. You wouldn’t believe some of the crap I bought, and still have to this day, in many cases still in the packaging. I should dig it out one day and put some of it on the blog. (For example, I have every single item on this page.)

I was buying almost anything with a Star Wars tie-in. I had gone menerk for Episode I!

I’m describing all this to give you an idea of how excited I – at the age of 27 – was to see the film. It was as if 16 years of missing a new Star Wars movie was going to pay off in one go. I just couldn’t wait!

And then, on May 16, Episode I was released…

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It would be easy here to insert jokes about how awful the movie was (and is). The crushing disappointment felt by zillions of fans as they watched their childhood destroyed and went straight home to toss their Watto cup-toppers (from the Pepsi promotion) into the garbage.

But you know what? I loved it!

I absolutely loved the film. I probably had tears in my eyes I loved it so much. I loved Jar-Jar and the Neimodians and the battle droids and even little Jake Lloyd as Anakin. I had no problem at all with the plot or the script or the acting. I wasn’t a fool – I knew much of it begged criticism (and deserved it), but I can honestly say that the Star Wars fan in me didn’t care, and I for one was in no way disappointed by Episode I. In fact I went back and saw the film again the very next day, and once again even before it left cinemas. I would even see it a fourth time before Episode II was released. Every time I loved it πŸ™‚

None of the stuff I had bought – including the cup-toppers – ended up in the trash!

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We all know the story, how it became trendy to hate not only Episode I but the prequels as a whole. Yeah yeah; it’s called forgetting why you loved the Star Wars films in the first place. I won’t get into the argument of why the prequels are immune to criticism here, but I will say that Episode I worked for me, and although I (as with most) agree the prequels got better as they continued, for me that meant rising from a high to an even higher high. For those six years I was a Star Wars madman, and the merchandise buying continued at a healthy rate πŸ™‚

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Yesterday we went and saw Episode I again in theatres – this time in 3D. For me personally I believe this was the 5th time I’d seen the movie on the big screen, and once again I loved every minute of it. Although my Star Wars fandom had quietened a bit in recent years (says the guy who still watched Clone Wars, buys action figures and SW lego sets), I can’t deny the fact I am still a massive fan and love all the films.

Watching Episode I again after not having seen it for so long made the experience very new. Of course I know the film like the back of my hand, but it was entertaining once again to see how cool Qui-Gon is, or marvel at the (still superb) special effects, or sigh at the dreamy Padme Amidala…

What can I say, I’m an unabashed fanboy of all things Star Wars. It’s no surprise I loved it in 3D, and if you were expecting even a hint of critique I’m sad to say you’ll have to go away disappointed πŸ˜‰


Caverns Of Minos

Wednesday, January 18th, 2012

Jeff Minter’s new iOS game is out, and (no surprises) it’s great:

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I described it to KLS as “a cross between Thrust, Scramble and ‘Minotaur rescue’ games”…

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It features nifty graphics, great control and fun scoring:

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And the usual Minter weirdness/brilliance…

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For $2, it’s a no-brainer!

Longer Time Man

Saturday, January 14th, 2012

I’m so tired! Today was the penultimate full day, and included walking, shopping, a casino and tiredness. Some photos, with brief explanation:

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I had a cheese stick for breakfast…

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…saw bonsai for sale at Paddington markets…

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…won a cute toy in a UFO catcher…

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…enjoyed a delightful afternoon tea…

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…and (much later in the day), took a photo of the $2600 Bernard won on only $5 bet at Star City Casino.

Yes, that’s not a joke. Bernard won enough money today to pay for his entire trip πŸ™‚