Robot Claw

What’s your favourite chip flavour? Mine is probably ‘all dressed’ or cheese & onion, although I’m always very partial to a plain chip. But I love salt and vinegar as well, although eating them in any quantity tends to irritate my mouth so they’re become a rare treat for me.

It’s perhaps therefore surprising that I’ve decided to review salt and vinegar chips here on this very blog! Yes my friends, since I’ve all but exhausted chicken ramen, it’s time to move on to a new product, and what could be more foolish suitable than salt and vinegar chips?!

But before I dove in, a comment on ratings. These chips will be placed into four categories, based on the usual rarities in gacha games. They are:

• C (common) – A below average chip, hardly worth the calories.

• R (rare) – An unremarkable but satisfying chip; better than nothing.

• SR (super rare) – The upper echelons of chip, never disappointing!

• SSR (super super rare) – A god-tier level chip, worth seeking out!!

In this first entry I have seven brands to cover, and I’ll present them in reverse rarity order. Let’s go…

Stewarts and Price Chopper are both local stores, and these are their store brands. Both of these were very poor, with a strange ‘soft’ texture (as if they were damp) and a dirty, slightly overcooked taste. The vinegar was subtle but very acidic, and overall eating these was unpleasant. Both are very much on the lower end of the C range.

Interestingly these both have identical ingredients (which doesn’t actually include vinegar), and since the shops are both local I speculate the chips are made at the same factory and are probably identical. I’ll never eat either again 🙂

Wise is one of the smaller chip brands (possibly in the northeast only) and Great Value is the Walmart store brand. Both of these were less expensive than most of the others covered here. The Wise chips do not include vinegar amongst their ingredients, but the Great Value ones do.

The Wise chips tasted a little overcooked, but they were light and easy to eat. In fact they were perhaps too easy to eat, since of all the chips covered today they had by far the least vinegar taste. As a chip therefore they were quite acceptable, but as a salt and vinegar chip they were – unless you only prefer a hint of acidity – below average. I’ll score them R for eatability only, but they’re on the lower end.

The Walmart chip on the other hand was in many ways the quintessential store brand: it covers all the bases adequately but doesn’t take any risks. The chips are light and not greasy, there’s actually a hint of potato, the acidity is there but not too high, and overall they’re enjoyable to eat without being overwhelming. It’s perhaps the very definition of an R chip, and would be adequate in a pinch if it was the only option.

Hannaford was the first company I worked for when I arrived in these lands decades ago. We don’t often shop there these days, but of course I had to pick up their store brand to try it out. And what a surprise it was! As soon as I opened the enormous bag I was near-overwhelmed by the vinegar vapors, and the chips were light and airy with a sweet and only slightly acidic vinegar taste (interestingly the ingredients do not include vinegar). They are strong as well – although not too strong – and I was able to have a few generous mouthfuls before my eyes started bulging. These were much better than a store brand has any right to be, and combined with the fact they were also the least expensive chip in todays post I’d say they sneak into the lower end of SR. A great chip!

Cape Cod is another northeast brand, and I have a small bag of their plain chips every day with lunch at school. I’ve respected their salt and vinegar chips for a long time now, and indeed they’re one of the reasons I’ve chosen this flavour for this pursuit! They are very strong, with a level of acidity that can be overwhelming. Indeed, they’ve been known to bring a tear to my eye if I eat them too hurriedly, and for that reason I enjoy them only infrequently. The vinegar (which is an ingredient) is complimented by wonderful kettle-cooked chips; crunchy and with a good potato taste. These are the definition of an SR chip!

And so we arrive at Lays, perhaps the king of chips. This company is the worlds leading chip manufacturer, and operates under different names (such as Smith’s or Walkers) in different countries. These kettle cooked chips are a relatively new item here in the USA, and I was eager to try the salt and vinegar flavor.

The chips themselves are just fantastic: crunchy without being greasy and containing a nice potato aftertaste. The vinegar (which is an ingredient) is sweet and strong without being overwhelming, and it’s shockingly easy to just keep shoveling these into your mouth with gay abandon. These are the king’s chip, and I wonder if I’ll find anything quite this good (much less better) in future installments? If you’re craving a salt and vinegar chip, reach no further than a bag of these; they’re an unequivocal SSR snack!

Due to the effect these chips can have on my mouth choosing to try every brand I find is the decision of a fool. But if you think I’m taking this responsibility lightly I present the above photo. As you can see we’ve accumulated a stockpile of chips to sample, and you can look forward to future installments as the weeks continue. Will I taste better than Lays kettle cooked? Or perhaps worse than Stewart’s? Time will tell…