Monsters In The Woods

I recently learned of a folk history of nonexistent wild animals in the area of America in which I now live (the Northeast). Apparently in the 1800s and early 1900s lumberjacks in this part of the world would entertain each other around the fire with tales of ferocious beasts inhabiting the woods, and these tales would in time be spread across the continent, continually modified and embellished with the telling.

The beasts in the tales are distinct from cryptids, since (it seems) few people ever believed they were real. They were more the inhabitants of fairy tales told by grown men, and in some ways this makes them even more curious. Various writers chronicled the beasts in the tales, and some (such as the Jackalope) have become well-known to people even today. But until I read about these recently I had never heard of the majority of these ‘Fearsome Creatures’ (after the 1939 book by William Cox).

Here’s a few of them:

The dungavenhooter was a lizard-like creature that had no mouth but enormous nostrils. It was said to prey on drunk loggers in the state of Maine, and would beat them to death with it’s long powerful tail until their bodies turned to gas, at which point it would inhale them for sustenance! Perhaps this tale was intended to be a deterrent to drunkenness?

The gumberoo was a large creature of the deep woods, often mistaken for a bear. It had incredibly strong, near-invulnerable skin and was voracious, eating almost anything it could fit in its mouth. It was said they could be killed only by fire, and some legends said they turned to fire when they died, which explained forest fires.

The hodag was a chimeric beast with parts from many others: part frog, part elephant, part dinosaur and spikes all over it. This beast ranged in Wisconsin, and was said to be extremely ferocious for it’s relatively small size. In 1893, a local prankster hunter actually killed one (the photo above was printed in a newspaper) and after doubts emerged of the legitimacy of the corpse three years later he caught a living hodag and exhibited it at a state fair! Alas, it was soon revealed to be a hoax. If the hodag exists, it hasn’t been seen since.

The squonk was a small and lonely creature that lived in the forests in southern New York and northern Pennsylvanian (not far from here then)! The squonk was apparently so embarrassed by its ugly countenance that it spent its life hidden and crying in shame. Hunters reported that when cornered the animal dissolved into ‘tears and bubbles’! What an unusual beast.

The snallygaster was a dragon-like creature that inhabited the hills and valleys of northern Maryland. First reported in the mid 1700s, a series of sightings in the early 20th century led to a mini-hysteria to determine what this gigantic cyclopean metallic birdlike creature (sometimes with tentacles) that had actually eaten humans (although this was unconfirmed) actually was. The Smithsonian became interested, and it was reported that no less than Theodore Roosevelt himself became interested in hunting it. Or so it was said, although much like ‘reports’ of many of these creatures these claims too were part of a hoax to sell newspapers.

This is just a tiny example of a menagerie of strange beasts that once walked the imaginations of Americans. In the days when the forests stretched forever and the nights were dark, it must have been easy for a frightened woodsman to imagine that strange call in the deep woods coming from a glawackus, or a hudag, or even a wampus cat.

If you’re interested in more examples this wikipedia article is a good start.

The Inevitable List Of Ten Things My Brother Will Buy Me For My Birthday!

It’s been a whopping eight whole years since I’ve posted a list like this, but yesterday I was thinking that my brother may be having difficulty finding a birthday gift for me. Ever the helpful sibling, I decided to give him some assistance.

So here you go brother, ten simple suggestions!

Let’s start with an action figure! Darth Plagueis was released eight years ago in the 3.75″ ‘black collection’ and as with most figures of that era was frustratingly difficult to find and hardly made it to store shelves. Had I seen it I would have bought it for sure, but now mint-on-card versions are only available for $100+ on eBay. I’d love to put this guy in a box and never look at him again!

Speaking of figures, I recently learned about a series of Guyver statues by Prime 1, including the above showing a Guyver-0 standing atop a defeated T-Rex. It’s an amazing piece, standing almost one meter tall and weighing over 25 kg! Unfortunately it’s sold out but even if it wasn’t the $1300 price tag (not including the insane shipping cost from Japan) is something I would never spend myself but think is entirely appropriate for a birthday expense!

Vinyl is really hot now, and while my record player no longer works I think it’s obvious that I’d love the above vinyl album (not CD!) from 1962. This was long before Pertwee became (the best) Doctor, and apparently he was already famous enough to release an album full of bawdy ditties! You can listen to the songs on YouTube and they are of course abysmal, so the album would be one ‘for the collection’.

Let’s switch to games! I’ve got an impressive Fighting Fantasy book collection but despite my efforts have yet to obtain an original 8-bit FF computer game. There’s a few available, for 4 systems (C64, Spectrum, BBC, Amstrad) so it shouldn’t be too hard for Bernard to get me one (on eBay UK most likely) for around £25! Naturally I want it in the original cassette case and in NM or better condition.

Speaking of games Ive seen the above myself a few times on recent Japan trips, and every time I do I nearly buy it. But the astonishing prices (¥40,000+) have always given me pause, and as a result a hole in my Wizardry collection remains unfilled. Bernard’s going to have to be careful when he buys this one though: ‘discount’ ($200) copies are easy to find, but they almost certainly don’t include the trading card!

Naturally, since Bernard will probably become an expert in navigating Yahoo Auctions Japan for the last item, he should keep his eyes peeled for the above as well. This is the Xevious gamebook released by Namco in the mid 1980s and, much like the game, this book tells the story of Mu and Eve as they pilot Solvalou to travel to Garu Andor Genesis and destroy GAMP. Apparently the game system is very similar to Fighting Fantasy but I wouldn’t know since I don’t own the book. Yet.

Let’s take a sidestep into toys. The LEGO Old Fishing Shack is a masterpiece of design, and several years ago I was with my brother when I picked it up in a shop and said I may buy it. I didn’t, and now it’s $500+ on the aftermarket. But B should realize: a LEGO for me is also a LEGO for him, since one day I’ll take it apart and send it to him so he can enjoy it too. While paying the ludicrous aftermarket scalper prices would be the act of a fool, at least it would be an act that one day benefits him!

We had ministecks as kids and loved them, and it’s time to love them again. Though they are still being released, they’re weirdly hard to find and the few kits I’ve seen for sale here are very kid-centric, like puppies or doll pictures. I reckon B has contacts in Germany that could help him snag me this monster Neuschwanstein kit, don’t you?

Who doesn’t love View-Master? I know I do, and my measly collection would receive a wonderful boost with the addition of the above set. Sadly it’s hellishly rare these days, with single reels (of the three-reel set) going for $25 or more in poor condition. If he gets me this, naturally in the original packaging, I promise I’ll blog it in detail!

And what better thing to end on than a pair of shoes! You didn’t see this coming did you? Yes my friends these are the 2016 limited edition Ultraman Converse All-Star shoes sold at only one store in Japan. Once again condition and packaging are important since I’ll never wear them, and unused examples in the original boxes go for silly amounts on Japanese auction sites these days. Indeed, you’d have to be a damn fool brother looking for a birthday gift to even consider entertaining some of the scalper prices…

So there we go, ten easy items only a click or two away. I wonder how many of these he will get me this year?

Ultraman Cards!

Just before Christmas this arrived:

It’s a box of Ultraman trading cards! This is the first item I have ever Kickstarted, and was released by a boutique trading card company here in the USA of all places. It contains cards based on Ultra Q and the first Ultraman series.

The 36 packs were hand-collated and packed, but had security and tamper-proof seals. I opened one pack a day for about a month, which I’ve found is the best way to enjoy a full box of cards.

The bulk of the set is 67 story cards and 91 monster cards, and I got them all. The numbering is such that about the first third of each type is for Ultra Q and the remainder Ultraman.

The story cards have full episode summaries on the back, which seems normal for those of us that have been collecting cards since the 1980s but is very rare for modern sets.

The monster cards have pictures on the back that can form ten different nine card mosaics. I love when cards do this and these are particularly great!

One cool subset are 3D cards, and the box actually comes with a pair of glasses. The 3D effect is incredibly good – easily the best I’ve seen on a trading card – and I’m very impressed with these!

Other subsets include copies of some of the sketch card art (a very nice inclusion)…

Stickers based on the opening credit silhouettes…

And several types of character portrait cards.

But you want to see the chase cards I got don’t you? Well my (actual) metal ‘box topper’ was this:

A bit bland I admit, especially compared to some of the other ones, but this is my first ever metal card and it’s very impressive. I also got (in a pack) this original sketch card:

That alien is called ‘antlar’. Obviously getting a sketch of someone like Ultraman or Zoffy or Zetton would have been amazing all original sketch cards are special. I looked up the artist and she’s done cards for many different series, always in a comical, cartoony way like here.

I also got a lenticular card (which doesn’t photo well) and as part of the Kickstarter they threw in some test print cards as well:

And this was one of the more unusual things in my box:

It’s a ‘DIY sketch card blank’! Should I draw my own Ultraman on it?

This is a set with a mind-boggling amount of variant cards. In fact the checklist spans the inside of three pack wrappers and even then doesn’t include every possible card:

I daresay it would be impossible to collect everything, but I’m happy that of the 360+ cards I got, I completed the basic set of episode and monster cards, got all the stickers, all the 3D cards, all of the lenticular and metal art cards, over 90% of the sketch art cards and a good selection of limited variants of most of the above!

I even have a full second set of episode cards, which of course will one day go to Bernard. All told, only one card in my box was an un-needed duplicate, but even then I’ve got an idea for it…

Needless to say this is a great card set and I’m extremely happy with my purchase (which was about $70). The Kickstarter itself was very delayed due to the pandemic (many sketch artists were overseas and the mailing of the art slowed considerably) but the company was extremely communicative and as you can see delivered in spades. I will certainly be joining the follow up set which will include Ultraseven and Return of Ultraman!