Robot Claw – Page 498 – “Life In The So-Called Space Age”

Review: Peter Davison’s Book Of Alien Monsters

January 31, 2013

I recently acquired this fine tome:

If you’re thinking it look familiar, well it should. However this was the first in the series, and therefore one may presume it doesn’t suffer from the sequelitis of its brethren.

Such a thought would however be patently incorrect, for this is yet another book of short stories that fail to impress, engage or leave an impression. In short, a book written for babies by hacks. With no exception the alien monsters in the book are violent, menacing or dangerous and for that reason I imagine this book would be quite a thrill for kids. But the resolutions are so obvious (or worse, telegraphed) and the stories end so abruptly that I was left wishing for the occasional twist or surprise (“Oh? The alien is actually friendly?”)

Many of the nine stories in this book are very similar, with least half having the same setup: colonists on alien planet don’t realize those dumb animals are actually sentient and aggressive aliens. The other half are equally repetitive: alien life form on Earth hides itself from all but children and ends up possessing and/or eating them. In the world of Peter Davison, there are no good aliens!

Here’s a retelling of the core of many of the stories in this book:

Pletrac huddled in the cave, unsure if the branches at the entrance would be enough to hide them. Vorg groaned quietly at his side, his leg probably broken. Pletrac moved the survival blanket up over his head to try to muffle the sound. How could they have ended up like this? The scouts hadn’t said anything about the creatures being intelligent – or even hostile – and the scans had identified them as one of the best food sources on the planet. The first had offered no resistance at all as they approached, large black eyes watching them seemingly mindlessly. Pletrac could still remember the hideous ululations it had made after Vorg electo-lanced it, and how quickly the others had burst up from the water and onto the land, tentacles coiling furiously. They were amphibious! Somehow they had escaped – the aliens probably afraid of the fire – but there were too many of them, and Vorg was badly injured. Now they would wait in this cave until help arrived. Help that didn’t even know yet that they were in danger…
…Outside the cave Kron-pirr waited, biding his time. The injured one would soon die, he knew, and the other would need sleep. When that time came, Glork’fth would surely be avenged!

Writing that gave me more enjoyment than reading the entire book 🙂

Verdict: save your shekels

Introducing Patito!

January 28, 2013

You may recall that last year we visited an animal sanctuary. We liked what they do, and for Christmas we decided to sponsor an animal. A duck, to be specific.

We’re now the proud godparents of Patito the duck!

Apparently Patito was found abandoned by her mother, and a kindly soul brought her to the sanctuary. She now lives in an organic garden with her friend Pip.

Isn’t she cute!

Live well Patito. Your new godparents will be down to visit you in the spring 🙂

Wii U

January 26, 2013

I got one of these for Christmas:

It’s the new Nintendo console hardware, and that giant tablet thing is the controller. I set it up last weekend, have played it for a while, and here are my thoughts.

Firstly, the tablet controller (the ‘gamepad’) is amazing. I was absolutely not expecting the screen to be as responsive or as high resolution as it is, and although massive the controller feels very comfortable in your hands. There is no discernible lag between what happens on the screen and the controller, which is important since you can essentially remove the TV from the equation and play (some) games simply using the controller screen. The Wii U also supports other controllers, including the old Wii motes and assorted other devices for the Wii (such as the classic controller).

The hardware itself seems fine. Graphics are of course much better than the Wii, and it’s nice and small like the way, almost hidden away next to our TV since I sat it vertically. I very much liked that it uses the same cables as the Wii, so installation was simply unplugging the Wii and putting the Wii U in its place! Tragically, our non 1080p TV only has a single HDMI port so I had to connect this guy using the old Wii cables, however I was very surprised by the quality of the picture. Yet another reason to delay buying a new TV…

So the hardware and controllers are good, but what about the software? What about the Wii U experience?

Well if you’ve read anything about it you would have read about the excessive load times! They are terrible. Starting an ‘app’ or even switching menus can sometimes result in 20-30 second (no, I am not exaggerating) load times. This is obviously completely unacceptable and Nintendo knows this and is constantly saying new updates will fix it. Those fixes can’t come soon enough.

The system also seems sparse on included software. Only some of the ‘channels’ from the Wii are present (no news, weather, Nintendo channel, Mii contest channel, quiz channel etc) and some of those on the front page I will never use (such as Hulu or Amazon instant video, for which we use the PS3). There is a new message board called Miiverse though, which has forums dedicated to every game on the system and lets you hand write posts. In practice this turns into people drawing unbelievably good sketches on their gamepads and showing them off to the world. Impressive stuff!

As usual Nintendo has also flubbed the online component. There are user accounts, but it’s unclear as to whether they are system specific. There is certainly no online requirement, so I assume they are. This means nothing is ‘saved’ to be accessed from other Nintendo systems or even Wii U consoles (if yours breaks). Furthermore, there is no messaging or achievement system, and the silly friend list requirements of previous Nintendo systems seems to have returned. Nintendo is still at least five years behind when it comes to the social aspects of consoles.

I have precisely one game for the system, called Nintendoland. This is a collection of minigames designed to show off the features of the controller mostly. Although it’s fun enough, it’s not at all worth full price and should be a pack in for all versions of the system, not just the ‘deluxe package’ (which I have). There is only one other game out right now I am interested in (Super Mario Brothers) and this reveals the critical problem with the Wii U right now – a shocking lack of games.

In fact, looking ahead to games that have release dates within 6 months from now, only two pique my interest. That would be Pikmin 3:

And the god of games, Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate (which can be played online from the Wii U):

That last game alone makes the system worth owning for those under its spell, but for the rest of the world… who can say?

Later this year the next XBox and Playstations will be unveiled. Nintendo has at least a year-long head start. Will they use it to their advantage? The hardware seems solid, but they really need to bring the games.