Robot Claw – Page 52 – “Life In The So-Called Space Age”

Ramen 27: March Of The Black Chicken

August 6, 2024

When I was a tiny lad, I once asked my father why I had been placed on this Earth. I remember his response as if he just spoken it: “Son, each man must forge their own path in life, but I believe that your destiny will include reviewing at least 70 chicken ramen products on your blog.”

Dad, this post is for you.

Dosirac Artificial Chicken Instant Noodle (370 Calories, 15g fat, 1550 mg sodium)

Rectangular bowls for these products are rare, so this caught my eye when I saw it for sale in NYC the other week. Before preparation it was unremarkable, but when I opened the seasoning bag and saw bright orange powder inside my ‘spicy’ alarms went off.

It prepared easily and the noodles cooked well, although I was a bit dubious of the weird chunks that floated up from underneath the noodle brick. The smell was ok so I steeled myself and tasted what I assumed would burn my mouth like fire. I was wrong: it wasn’t spicy at all. Instead it just tasted absolutely awful, like alien vegetables broiled in salt water. In fact, it was one of the worst instant ramen products I’ve ever tried, and was so bad I almost gagged. It triggered me!

An instant and unequivocal 0/10, or even -100/10 if I returned to my outlandish grading schemes of four years hence.

Maruchan Wonton Ramen Chicken (480 Calories, 24g fat, 2040 mg sodium)

I bought this curiosity some time ago and it seems to have disappeared from the shelves so I wonder if it already failed? It’s from Maruchan – no stranger to grocery aisles or indeed this blog series – and comes in a massive coconut-sized bowl. It’s a chicken ramen with wontons!

Firstly let’s address the madness that this product claims to contain three servings. Do they assume this will actually be shared? Is this a family dinner? Foolishness! But for one person it contains a stupendous amount of fat and sodium. Why isn’t it half the size with fewer wontons?

It prepared identically to any other ramen (aside from needing about twice the water) and tastes more or less like any other Maruchan chicken ramen, which isn’t a bad thing at all. But the wontons are a failure: they’re flaccid and tasteless and in my opinion offered very little. Just for taste I’ll give it 7/10, but it’s far too big and a normal Maruchan chicken ramen is a better buy.

Nissin ‘Zero-Second’ Chicken Ramen (362 Calories, 7.1g fat, 362 mg sodium)

And this we arrive at the 70th chicken ramen product reviewed (there have been other ramens in the companion series), and intriguingly this is a slight departure in that it requires no water!

The origin of this product is apparently an internet meme from several years ago where people in Japan started eating instant ramen without cooking it. Nissin – creators of ramen and still market leaders – took inspiration and released this version of their popular chicken ramen that is supposed to be eaten as a dry snack. It even says on the packaging that you should not add water. Apparently this is a salty snack that goes well with beer.

To me… this was a dud. It tastes as you’d expect: uncooked ramen noodles with a slight salty taste, and both the texture and taste I found disagreeable. I nibbled a few chunks to see if it got better and it didn’t. Into the trash then, for this 2/10 product.

Seventy reviews of chicken ramen?!? Could there possibly be more out there I have yet to try? In the world of instant chicken ramen, I’ve learned to expect the unexpected 🙂

Cardboard R2

August 2, 2024

Bernard sent me this:

It’s a cardboard R2-D2 model kit! Here’s what was inside:

Six cardboard runners with pieces, an instruction book, and a tiny tube of glue (which I never used). It also includes a cardboard tool to assist in assembly, which is fairly useless (I used tweezers myself).

The model is assembled by punching out the pieces and putting them together using a tab/slot system. Most pieces have slots that need to be punched out, and this can be a little tedious since some of the slots are too small and need to be enlarged before use. Some pieces are scored to bend, and this works better than I expected. I had actually purchased a different kit from the same manufacturer before and assembly was a nightmare, so I was nervous.

The initial steps included a lot of framework and placement of curved pieces. Unlike the other kit I mostly failed on, this all went together surprisingly well and in a couple of hours I had finished the main body.

The legs were a lot more finicky, and there may have been some cursing trying to get all the pieces together well. Once or twice I had to cut off tabs since (curved) pieces didn’t go together correctly, but I was able to do this in a way that was transparent to the final version.

After about 6 carefree hours I’d finished the four main sections, and it was time to put them together. This was also a bit nerve-wracking, since the potential for damage seemed high. But my worry was premature, and this final step was almost effortless.

And here he is! Doesn’t he look great? He’s about a foot tall and surprisingly sturdy considering he’s cardboard. As I said I didn’t use glue, but everything is together tightly and I don’t feel I need to be fragile moving him around.

Here he is compared to the two of my other recent R2 pickups: a Lego version and a vintage action figure.

Overall this kit gets a resounding thumbs up. As it turns out when Bernard sent it to me I had already purchased one myself, and I’ll therefore be sending him back one so he can make it for himself.

As for mine, I could just put him on the shelf, or in my office… or I could set him on fire and post dramatic photos on this blog! Let me know in the comments which is preferred?

Bloomburrow Prerelease

July 29, 2024

On Saturday I attended the prerelease for the new Magic The Gathering set called Bloomburrow. This was my first prerelease in a decade.

The event was held at a gaming center opened by my local game shop back during the pandemic. I’d never been and was surprised by how large and well equipped it was (it even has a cafe serving hot food)! At first I was a bit taken aback by how many people were there, but then I realized there would be simultaneous Lorcana and Warhammer 40k events being held. Only 12 people showed up for the Bloomburrow prerelease, which seemed very low for such a popular set. The events have become far less competitive than when I played years ago, with only three rounds and prizes of a pack a round for the winners. (So the most you could win was three packs.)

The above was my bonus card, and he’s very strong in the right deck. Alas I couldn’t make him work with the cards in my packs, and indeed it was difficult at first to decide what sort of deck to make. In the end I went with a mostly red/white deck with a tiny splash of blue (since I had two counterspells) with which I faced my first opponent.

My first opponent was inexperienced and demonstrated some quirks of a new player, but had a very strong deck for a prerelease. It was green/white, heavy on rabbits and fliers, and also not sparse with land/card draw. We played two games, both of which went too long since he took forever to make his plays, and both of which could have ended quicker if he had been bolder with his attacks. In fact in the second game, after three turns of him not triggering an obvious win condition, I showed him how he could have already won (which he admitted he had not noticed). He won both games, but he could have won them much faster! (I learned at the end he would go on and win all three of his rounds.)

My second opponent played blue/green/black, although I never saw him actually cast a black spell. His deck wasn’t as strong as the first guy, but it was very irritating with a lot of stuns, bounces and evasive attackers. The games were very short, and he beat me 2-0 handily in only about 15 minutes. Some of this was my poor land draw, but it was also the fact he was obviously an experienced limited player and knew how to build a winning deck from sealed packs. Before facing him I had removed the (three) blue cards from my deck, and he took a look and made suggestions for minute (two cards) further refinements which I gladly adopted.

The above was the deck I faced my final opponent with (which differs from my initial deck by only 5 cards). He was very inexperienced – this was his first prerelease and he’d only been playing for two weeks – and he played unsleeved! I didn’t get much of a feel for his (white/blue) deck since I beat him very quickly in both of our games.

And thus I won a single pack 🙂

Every opponent had asked if I was interested in trading away my legendary mouse card (Mabel) and afterwards I went back to the first guy to see what he had. As it turns out he was friends with my third opponent and between them and their two other friends I traded essentially my entire card pool for their squirrel and basic land cards. They definitely got the advantage due to value (I had three mythics) but I was happy because I only wanted the cards they gave me.

My thoughts on the set: it’s a lot of fun to play although very token-heavy, and the art is beautiful. I think it lives up to the hype. As for the prerelease itself I enjoyed it, but definitely found myself getting tired after four hours. Will I go to the next set release event? As of right now, that’s undecided.