Robot Claw – Page 59 – “Life In The So-Called Space Age”

Frog Days

August 11, 2024

We’re in Canada! We drove up to Montreal today, which was a trip of about 3.5 hours through the beautiful Adirondack mountains. Crossing the border was easy and the wait wasn’t very long, and before we knew it all the signs were in French!

Our hotel room is unexpectedly fantastic. It’s big and comfortable and the bath could hold a hippo with space to spare (I’m only slightly exaggerating; it’s truly enormous). We’ll be very relaxed here for a few days.

We learned today that Canada is a country in which most stores are still closed on Sundays. Even some fast food places (such as McDonald’s) were closed! So we just wandered around the city this afternoon to soak in the vibes. As it turned out there was a massive pride parade in the city today and it was full of people – many in outrageous outfits – so that was amusing. It also made it even more unusual that almost all shops and restaurants were closed!

We went to a big church and saw the above sarcophagus in which a senior priest was buried. This wasn’t the prime tourist attraction church in the city, but the main one was asking $16 just to walk in the door so we passed.

We discovered a ‘Barbie expo’ in a mall near our hotel so we stopped off for a gander. It’s a mysterious display of hundreds of Barbies with no explanation or documentation (or entry fee), so I assume it’s someone’s collection they’ve just put on display.

We had no idea this many collectible Barbies existed, and it was a treat seeing them all. Our favourites the the ‘Vampire’ and ‘Empress Of The Aliens’, and I look forward to both of them taking lead roles in the inevitable Barbie film sequel 🙂

It took us a while to find dinner, but the fish and chips we shared was great. On the way back to the hotel we got caught in a sudden torrential rainstorm, but the discomfort of wet clothes was soon abated by a steaming hot bath 🙂

Ramen 27: March Of The Black Chicken

August 6, 2024

When I was a tiny lad, I once asked my father why I had been placed on this Earth. I remember his response as if he just spoken it: “Son, each man must forge their own path in life, but I believe that your destiny will include reviewing at least 70 chicken ramen products on your blog.”

Dad, this post is for you.

Dosirac Artificial Chicken Instant Noodle (370 Calories, 15g fat, 1550 mg sodium)

Rectangular bowls for these products are rare, so this caught my eye when I saw it for sale in NYC the other week. Before preparation it was unremarkable, but when I opened the seasoning bag and saw bright orange powder inside my ‘spicy’ alarms went off.

It prepared easily and the noodles cooked well, although I was a bit dubious of the weird chunks that floated up from underneath the noodle brick. The smell was ok so I steeled myself and tasted what I assumed would burn my mouth like fire. I was wrong: it wasn’t spicy at all. Instead it just tasted absolutely awful, like alien vegetables broiled in salt water. In fact, it was one of the worst instant ramen products I’ve ever tried, and was so bad I almost gagged. It triggered me!

An instant and unequivocal 0/10, or even -100/10 if I returned to my outlandish grading schemes of four years hence.

Maruchan Wonton Ramen Chicken (480 Calories, 24g fat, 2040 mg sodium)

I bought this curiosity some time ago and it seems to have disappeared from the shelves so I wonder if it already failed? It’s from Maruchan – no stranger to grocery aisles or indeed this blog series – and comes in a massive coconut-sized bowl. It’s a chicken ramen with wontons!

Firstly let’s address the madness that this product claims to contain three servings. Do they assume this will actually be shared? Is this a family dinner? Foolishness! But for one person it contains a stupendous amount of fat and sodium. Why isn’t it half the size with fewer wontons?

It prepared identically to any other ramen (aside from needing about twice the water) and tastes more or less like any other Maruchan chicken ramen, which isn’t a bad thing at all. But the wontons are a failure: they’re flaccid and tasteless and in my opinion offered very little. Just for taste I’ll give it 7/10, but it’s far too big and a normal Maruchan chicken ramen is a better buy.

Nissin ‘Zero-Second’ Chicken Ramen (362 Calories, 7.1g fat, 362 mg sodium)

And this we arrive at the 70th chicken ramen product reviewed (there have been other ramens in the companion series), and intriguingly this is a slight departure in that it requires no water!

The origin of this product is apparently an internet meme from several years ago where people in Japan started eating instant ramen without cooking it. Nissin – creators of ramen and still market leaders – took inspiration and released this version of their popular chicken ramen that is supposed to be eaten as a dry snack. It even says on the packaging that you should not add water. Apparently this is a salty snack that goes well with beer.

To me… this was a dud. It tastes as you’d expect: uncooked ramen noodles with a slight salty taste, and both the texture and taste I found disagreeable. I nibbled a few chunks to see if it got better and it didn’t. Into the trash then, for this 2/10 product.

Seventy reviews of chicken ramen?!? Could there possibly be more out there I have yet to try? In the world of instant chicken ramen, I’ve learned to expect the unexpected 🙂

Cardboard R2

August 2, 2024

Bernard sent me this:

It’s a cardboard R2-D2 model kit! Here’s what was inside:

Six cardboard runners with pieces, an instruction book, and a tiny tube of glue (which I never used). It also includes a cardboard tool to assist in assembly, which is fairly useless (I used tweezers myself).

The model is assembled by punching out the pieces and putting them together using a tab/slot system. Most pieces have slots that need to be punched out, and this can be a little tedious since some of the slots are too small and need to be enlarged before use. Some pieces are scored to bend, and this works better than I expected. I had actually purchased a different kit from the same manufacturer before and assembly was a nightmare, so I was nervous.

The initial steps included a lot of framework and placement of curved pieces. Unlike the other kit I mostly failed on, this all went together surprisingly well and in a couple of hours I had finished the main body.

The legs were a lot more finicky, and there may have been some cursing trying to get all the pieces together well. Once or twice I had to cut off tabs since (curved) pieces didn’t go together correctly, but I was able to do this in a way that was transparent to the final version.

After about 6 carefree hours I’d finished the four main sections, and it was time to put them together. This was also a bit nerve-wracking, since the potential for damage seemed high. But my worry was premature, and this final step was almost effortless.

And here he is! Doesn’t he look great? He’s about a foot tall and surprisingly sturdy considering he’s cardboard. As I said I didn’t use glue, but everything is together tightly and I don’t feel I need to be fragile moving him around.

Here he is compared to the two of my other recent R2 pickups: a Lego version and a vintage action figure.

Overall this kit gets a resounding thumbs up. As it turns out when Bernard sent it to me I had already purchased one myself, and I’ll therefore be sending him back one so he can make it for himself.

As for mine, I could just put him on the shelf, or in my office… or I could set him on fire and post dramatic photos on this blog! Let me know in the comments which is preferred?