Robot Claw

In a twisted sense, this post is the height of narcissism, but at the same time I dare my fellow blog authors to duplicate it.

As such, I present the ten worst photos of me ever taken (with commentary from KLS).

Before I start though, I have to issue a disclaimer. I do not own every photo ever taken of me, and I don’t doubt there are some out there that would make this list. I specifically refer to a legendary image of me in yellow shorts and a yellow t-shirt with yellow hair taken during a sports festival during high school, which is known to be in the possession of SMC…

In order to fully enjoy this list, I suggest you not skip ahead, for the images are listed in order of least-worst first:

< #10 (1993) RS: "The glasses, the hair, the leather jacket. Nothing about this photo is at all cool. If I saw this person in real life, I'd hit him." KLS: "It's all about the glasses!" < #9 (1995) RS: "I just hate it. It makes my skin crawl..." KLS: "You just look like such a dipshit!" < #8 (1999) RS: "The earliest digital photo on this list. Why didn't I delete it?" KLS: "You look like a crackhead with allergies." < #7 (2002) RS: "Taken during a hair-dyeing procedure (we bleached it before dyeing it red). Just awful..." KLS: "I don't really have to say anything, do I?" < #6 (1993) RS: "The oldest photo on this list, taken just days after arriving from Australia. Is this even me? I can't believe I ever thought those glasses looked good..." KLS: (just laughs out loud) < #5 (2005?) RS: "A self-portrait gone horribly, horribly wrong..." KLS: "The frogman cometh!" < #4 (2007) RS: "I actually like this photo. It makes me look strong!" KLS: "You look scary, and like you have a terminal disease!" < #3 (1999) RS: "I plead the fifth on defining the caption. What 'bandanna phase'?" KLS: "You look like a fat professional wrestler!" < #2 (1996?) RS: "Not the worst, but hands down the most embarassing. It was a monumental effort to actually upload and post this diabolically awful image of the antithesis of cool.”
KLS: “It’s the total package!”

< #1, 2006 RS: "The story behind this pair of images is this: I was out one morning removing snow for hours. I came in, showered and proceeded to shave off the full beard I had at the time. As a bit of a joke I kept the mustache, and KLS was smart enough to snap these two images. They have become somewhat iconic, specifically the leftmost one, as not just the worst photo ever of me, but the worst ever possible photo that could ever be taken of me! Note the ‘lobotomy scar’, the sunken eyes, the offensive mustache and the rash on my neck. This photo is so incomparably bad, that in a certain way it is just sublime.”
KLS: “It looks like a photo of a mustache with some dude hiding behind it!”

Enjoy this post while you can, because even now as I am about to hit ‘publish’ I am debating deleting it…