KLS & I have 3-day passes for the New York Comic Con this weekend!
You can follow our adventures on the twitter!
If you have any requests while I am there, use my gmail email address!
Here’s a shot of me at the con last year. Can’t believe I wore this hat almost all day…
My brother recently fired off the following email:
“Hey little bro! Since your big day is coming up, I wanted to be sure to let you know how proud I am of you with a selection of fine gifts. Any suggestions?”
I’m always glad, big brother of mine, to oblige! Mayhaps the following list of trifling items may give you inspiration…
Books Category
Casket Of Souls
The near-legendary, very low print run sequel to The Tasks Of Tantalon. I have never owned this book, which came out in 1987 and was released in the UK only. Copies occasionally appear on amazon, but rarely from legitimate sellers (just because a book is listed doesn’t mean the reseller has it, especially rare books). Prices start at about $80 for used copies.
Revenge Of The Vampire
I’ve blogged about this before: The legendary ‘final’ FF gamebook with a depressingly low (for modern collectors) print run. There is one on amazon right now for as little as $80. A couple of years back a rumour was that the reprints would get to this, but they never did. Alas.
Warlock Magazine
The legendary FF magazine, 13 issues of which were published over three years in the early 1980s. I tried getting a few five years or so back on ebay, but baulked at the prices (even for single issues). I dream of owning a complete collection.
A Japanese FF gamebook
An original imprint (such as on the left) or reprint (right, which is Deathtrap Dungeon) I don’t care! But I’d love to own one. And believe me I have looked! I’ve even looked IN JAPAN with no luck! These babies are very, very hard to get a hold of. (Hrm… just remembered AW’s sister…)
White Knight, Black Swan
The legendary second David Gemmell book written under a pseudonym. A sales failure, I once read a quote (attributed to Gemmell, if I recall) that copies were even recalled and destroyed. There is one on amazon right now, but the seller is (once again) a reseller who may not even have it in stock. Besides, it’s over US$1900!
Temple Of Elemental Evil (1985)
Not the half-man reissue from a few years back, but the grand-daddy released way back when @fyrenze was a baby! 128 pages of unmitigated Gygax madness! I have to read it!!! (But not at $70!)
Toys Category
Corgi Dalek 3-pack
When we were in England, I bought one of the two available Corgi dalek 3-packs. Shown here is the other, and to this day I regret not buying it. These little (about 7 cm) tall guys are metal, weighty, and articulated (well, insofar as they are daleks). I love them! Every now and then the other colour set (white/red/silver) is on amazon, but I’ve not ever seen the above set listed.
Puck Monster VFD Game
I did a blog post about this once before. It didn’t work then, why do I think it will now?
Imakarum Miribalis Max Factory Guyver Figure
I avoided this when it was released because of sticker shock (it was over $150). Now it’s climbed to $390 on amazon. I read when it was released that it was only sold for a very short period at the convention circuit in Japan. I bet few were made. It would be a nice match to the others in the series, all of which (of course…) I own 🙂
Tolarian Academy and Gaea’s Cradle
Because I’d never pay $100 (combined!) for these two cards myself 😉
Music Category
Gone Petshopping (Pet Shop Girls)
Again, I have looked and looked for this with no luck. I even once tried to buy it on amazon only to receive a message that the seller didn’t actually have it (insert another grumble about resellers listing items they don’t even have). Note that I would *vastly* prefer the (legendary!) Japanese version since it is the only one that contains a version of ‘Go West’ that is about a million types of awesome.
So Long Celeste (Marian Gold)
What am I supposed to do when the first solo album of one of my favourite artists was only released in small quantities in god damn South Africa almost 20 years ago! Well, of course I ask for it as a gift! Note that while many of the songs were eventually included in the Alphaville mega-albums Dreamscapes and Crazyshow, they were different versions! A completist like me dies inside a little due to that 🙁
Video Game Category
Ketsui Death Smile (DS)
Aka. “The One That Got Away”. This Cave bullet-hell shooter for the DS hit the street at elevated prices and never went down. I’ve never seen it for sale, but it is occasionally on amazon for $75 or up. Is it worth it? Who’s to say? Would I buy it for that price if I had it in my hand in a Japanese used game store? Probably.
Wizardry ~?????~ (DS)
Even with your skills, this one may be hard to find. A nearly two year old DS game that was limited and exclusive to amazon.co.jp, I have never ever actually seen it for sale anywhere. All the more reason I want it 😉
Wizardry Scenario 1 (Wonderswan)
Anyone that asks themselves: “Why on Earth is this on this list?” doesn’t understand the sort of man I am! At any rate, big brother, this one will require herculean effort to find since I almost don’t even believe it exists. I have searched high and low in the most arcane and completist of Japanese used-game stores (including the legendary hall of Mandarake Nakano) and I have never, ever, ever seen this game. I can’t wait to get it for graduation 🙂
Wizardry: Bane Of The Cosmic Forge (SNES)
I suppose you could call this the ultimate. If the last two Japanese wizardry games are difficult to find (and they are!) then this one is probably impossible. Four times I have been to Japan, and each time this game was on ‘my list’. I have spent countless hours in used game stores and never, ever seen it. I would venture to guess that this particular Super Nintendo wizardry game is (much) rarer than the (European only) Might And Magic II cartridge (and if you get that for me, remember to purchase me a UK SNES so I can play it!) and even perhaps rarer than the US version of Might and Magic on the SNES… which was never released! Yes, brother, I’m saying this particular game may not exist (outside of ROMs), and would therefore be the ultimate gift. The ball is in your court!
And that’s my list! If you need more, I could probably come up with some, but I think this should be enough.
Lest the list seem… excessive… understand that I’m not asking for everything! Just a few items from each category should suffice 😉
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.
So I had to do a special blog post, and during my research typed ‘Oporto chicken’ into Google image search. Here is a screenshot of the results:
That’s only the second page of results! The funny thing is, I don’t believe either of us are actually eating Oporto in those photographs 🙂
So what was the post? What was so special I had to crow about it? I’m sure you’ve guessed by now…
I bought my Australia tickets yesterday 😉
Details to follow…
For reasons I have never truly been able to explain, people like taking photos of me eating. These photos frequently do a good job showing my insatiable enthusiasm for food, and as a celebration of my manly consumptive spirit, I showcase some of the best here today.
I had a massive collection to choose from, so to winnow it down I invoked an arbitrary rule: no two photos of the same type of food! In addition, preference was given to photographs that showcased one of my many eating techniques, or simply seemed to defy the conventional rules of consumption.
Plus, we have some bonus features at the very end of this post 🙂
On with the show:
10) Corn at Enoshima Island, Japan
A brutal hot day, a difficult hike up hundreds of stairs. And a delicious cob of corn waiting for me at the top!
9) Watermelon, here at home
This photo demonstrates some of my special techniques. You’ll notice my eyes are open to extreme levels. This is an advanced technique that allows maximum mouth-opening (you’ll see this technique again). Notice also the outstretched tongue. Again, an advanced technique that is almost surely an indicator I am about to use the ‘light speed tongue‘ technique on this unwary piece of watermelon. This technique, incidentally, is shown in video form later in this post.
8) Pluto Pup, Randwick Racecourse 2010
This is a difficult image for me to look at because it brings too mind the still painful memory that back in January of this year, when I was once again at the races, the vendor was out of Pluto Pups. Note incidentally the ‘infinite jaw‘ technique being used here, maximizing the cutting power of the teeth by squinting the eyes and therefore diverting facial muscular energy to the jaw.
7) Yakitori, Japan
#9 above was close, but this is the first shot that truly showcases the ‘gaping maw‘ technique that surely must be mastered if you wish to be a master of consumption. Notice how my face is quite literally deformed to the point of extreme grotesqueness as I struggle to fit the yakitori stick in my mouth. Good times!
6) Bacon & Cheese Roll, Randwick Australia
A nice illustration of the ‘pac human‘ where my jaws are opened at about 60 degrees and the teeth almost retracted. It takes experience to use this one on an item like a bacon and cheese roll, but once mastered the effect on flavour is sublime. Bonus points for the hat increasing the spherical curvature of my head.
5) Fish and Chips, Brighton England
No technique on display here, just good old fashioned eating. Look into my eyes. Don’t they say
This is the best fish and chips I have ever had!
4) Spaghetti, Odaiba Tokyo, Japan
The original ‘gaping maw’, this 7-year old image shows a supertaster in his infancy. It takes a lot for one such as myself to force metal utensils into my mouth, and even now I can remember the ambrosiac taste of this spaghetti. This is more than an eating photo – it’s a snapshot of a happy place in my soul!
3) McDonalds Apple Pie, ???
Sadly I don’t recall the place and time, but I do recall the feeling of joy as I bit down on this pie. I can say with confidence this was either England or Australia, since I would never even consider taking the energy to do a ‘pac human‘ on the garbage McDonalds sells as pies here in the US. This shot reminds me of the time I ate pies daily in Japan in the Fibonacci Series (1 the first day, 1 the second, 2 the third, 3 the fourth…). Few men can claim to have ever done such a thing 🙂
2) Unidentified Pastry, Meiji Shrine, Tokyo
As I am a self-conscious eater, always mindful of the opinion of those around me, I try to avoid eating in public. And yet it is at those times that one can most truly appreciate food. This is a beautiful image. A beautiful man, with a beautiful haircut, eating a beautiful pastry beautifully. In this image one sees that even a man with a swarthy soul can channel charm and inspiring grace.
1) Sausage Roll, at Mum and Dad’s house
The singlet top. The unkempt appearance. The piercing, almost maniacal gaze, and the very top of a can of Lift soda visible in the lower left. This is a photo of a man at his prime, eating what he eats best as best he can eat it. Not even one crumb of pastry avoided my gullet that day, and every technique at my disposal (‘infinite jaw‘, ‘pac human‘ and ‘gaping maw‘) was used to teach an entire box of Herbert Adams sausage rolls a lesson they most certainly never forgot!
So my friends, from whence came these skills of mine! I think I can only blame my parents. In case you don’t know them, here they are:
From an early age they taught my brother and I the importance of food. “Food is life” my father used to bellow, “never stop eating!”
Those early years were long and hard for a calm soul like me, competing as I did against my brother:
And it’s not wrong to say our daily meal tables almost always resembled a pack of mad dogs eager for a carcass:
Eventually I would rise above them all in my skills. While my brother may be able to consume truly vast quantities of food, I daresay he is still a long way from the speed at which I can put it away. For a brief glimpse of my ‘light speed tongue’ technique, watch this video:
